You Don't Care About Us.

Tiny Touch Of Jealousy.

Remember how it felt to have your first crush? The beating in your chest, the giggles that would leave your mouth? Or how your cheeks would turn pink in embarrassment when your friends would taunt you about it? Maybe how you felt when you couldn't find your crush after searching for them through out the day?

That empty feeling that hollows your chest. It's painful, isn't it?

That's how 16 year old Emilia felt. After all he was 18, a Senior, while she was a junior. Her crush was graduating and with him went her shattered heart.

She watched from the bleachers as names where being called and Seniors walked. Her hands held tightly around a note. A love letter.

A letter she had written for him when she first saw him. He was her escorter around school her first year. They became friends, but not close.

"Ryder Williams" chorus of cheese behind her began as he walked across the stage. Emilia cheered in her head as she clapped.

The ceremony eneded and the graduates made their way backstage. Emilia walked out of the staduim with a huge grin. The note held tightly in her hands making creases and wrinkles.

"Hey 'milia!"

She stopped searching when she heard her name. She turned around and saw Ryder, with a friend, walking towards her. When he finally met her, she hugged him tightly, proud for his accomplishment.

"I'm so happy for you! Oh god now i'll be alone and antisocial. You'll go off to uni and make a better living."

"I'll still come by to check up on you! Don't act like i'm going away forever." he said laughing.

She chuckled at how ridiculous she was acting. His friend, Peter stood next to them, smiling. "Nice to see you again, 'milia. Are you coming to the party after?"

She nodded. "Most likely, how do you feel about taking a year off now?"

Peter smiled looking at the ground. "Nervous, are we?" she said playfully punching his shoulder.

He chuckled, "A bit actually. I still need call that dad of yours for a job."

"Well, you should hurry. I think you might have good competition."

He bit his lip, "I need to call pronto, see you guys later." he said walking away. We watched as he made his way to his family. He hugged his mother and sister, then awkwardly, shool hamds with his father.

"It's much tense then I thought." Emilia said.

"Yeah, but i'm much more interested in that letter of yours. Is it for me?" Ryder asked trying to take it from her grasp.

"Maybe, maybe not! What's it to you?" she said swatting away his shaking hands, which only happened when he was excited.

"It has my name on it, so gimmie." he started to poke her sides, holding her close, and took the letter.

Emilia became panicked in an instant. She changed her mind and didn't want to go through the humiliation. She wanted the letter back.

"Ryder!"

They both looked over and saw Olivia, his girlfriend. Oh fuck, this IS a bad idea. She thought.

"I'll read this later. See you at the party!" he said jogging to his trophy girl. He turned to look at Emilia, catching her attention. "Oh and 'milia, thanks for coming. I miss you!"

She smiled and sent him a wave. She weaved her way out the crowd of people and hopped into a cabby that dropped off at a train station near by.

Once home, she picked around the house and cleaned her room. She watched reruns of The Twilight Zone and rested until it was time for her to leave.

"Emilia, are you home?"

She sat up frightened until she recognized Ryder's voice. "'Milia?"

She fixed her clothes and ran out her room to meet him. She turned on the corner of the hallway and saw Ryder about to make his way to her room. "Ryder." she said as she noticed her open note clenched in his hand.

"I..." he didn't speak. No one did. It was too... Hard.

I'm gonna get rejected. Or worse, what if Olivia read it?

"Ry-"

"Don't. Just... Don't talk." she bit her lip. He just stared at her with no emotion shown on his face. Her eyes were filled with tears threatening to fall.

It seemed like forever. Time was passing slow and it felt like the seasons changed. "The door is that way."

Ryder looked at her questionably. He tilted his head and blinked like someone had smaked him. "Excuse me?"

"You don't need to be here to reject me. The door is that way if you don't feel the same." Her voice cracked, giving her away. "GO!"

Her voice made him stumble. He slowly put her letter on the couch as he walked out her parents house. She walked to her room, slamming the door. Her body shook with every sob she held in.

She laid in bed for hours trying to forget how much of a dumbass she was for letting him get the note.

"'Emilia, what's this?" she didn't even notice when her mom got home. She sat up and looked at the letter in her mothers hands.

"Garbage."

"I'm not too sure about that," her mother said sitting on the foot of her bed, "have a look."

She walked out leaving the letter behind. Emilia reached for it, sighing.
I feel the exact same way, but stronger.

The sentence made her burst into tears. She hugged it tightly to her, crying, wishing she didnt make him leave.

It gave her motovation to get ready and go to the party, where he would be. She did her makeup, wore her favourite band shirt, and put on boots. She felt confident now, not nervous.

She felt like she could touch the stars. She was happy and it was all because of the simple sentence.

Why didn't he say anything? Why did he make me shut up and then leave?

She pushed the questions aside and walked out the house. She made her way to the location of the party, using the train. Once there, it was already getting dark. She could hear the music blaring from inside. Cheers of men and chants of "CHUG CHUG CHUG!" was heard.

Emilia closed her eyes and took a breather. Her stomach felt funny and her limbs felt tingly. She walked inside and scanned the room finding no sign of Ryder. It wasn't until she went to the backyard when she saw him talking with Peter and Graham, his other best friend.

"Oi! 'Milia came!" Peter shoutes over the sound when he saw her, "Come're!" he said showing her a cup.

She shyly smiled and made her way to them. That's the only thing she can remember from that night. Booze, smokes, and the sent of throwup.

When she woke up she looked at her surroundings and recognized her room. Next to her was Ryder. They both wore clothes, including their shoes. She smiled down at him. Getting an idea of what happened between them.

"So you guys dated?"

Emilia nodded, "he was the one who cheated? The day I let you stay at my place?" she nodded again.

Brian gave her a small kiss on her hand, "Tough luck, kid."

"Yeah, but... It's over now. I guess your story was worse than mine."

"It's not a competition on who had the most fucked up relationship. I'm glad I have you for support. I never told anyone that story."

She nodded quietly. She drank her coffee and threw the cup away. Brian followed her out with his cup in hand. The door played a small tune as they opened the door.

"Milly?" she looked at him.

"Y-yea?" Brian could see how upset she was. She was still hung up on that Ryder dick.

"Milly, give up this fight, there are no second chances."