The Art of Living - R. Black

twenty six

Regulus Black

July 2nd, 1997

"Meredith, dinner's ready," I say softly.

My wife is standing in front of the bathroom mirror with damp hair and a blank expression on her face. The past few days have been rough, especially for Meredith. Her eyes are puffy and bloodshot from crying and her expression is blank. She looks a bit like a ghost.

"Meredith," I repeat when she doesn't answer.

Meredith meets my eyes in the mirror. "Okay, I'll be right down," She says.

She has an odd expression on her face so I linger in the doorway and watch her.

"It's not your fault," I tell her. "Nothing that happened is your fault. You know that, right?"

Meredith's bottom lip quivers. I reach for her and Meredith buries her face against my chest as she starts sobbing. I hold her tight against me and run my hand through her hair, trying to offer any sort of reassurance.

"No one would be dead if it weren't for me," She says, her voice cracking. "I knew that Peter was the spy, I knew it. James and Lily are dead because of me, Sirius went to Azkaban because of me, Frank and Alice got tortured because of me. Gideon, Fabian, Edgar, Benjy-"

"It's not your fault," I reaffirm. "You did the right thing and told Dumbledore. He's the one who tampered with your memory. He's at fault for everyone's deaths, not you."

Meredith stops crying and starts taking deep breaths. She pulls away and looks up at me, looking so incredibly sad that it hurts. I wipe the tears from her cheeks.

"Why would he do that?" Meredith asks. "He knew, he could've saved everyone."

I shake my head. "He's not a good person," I say. "That's the only reason I know for sure. But you, Meredith, you are a good person. None of this is your fault."

Meredith gives me a small smile, but it's enough.

"Can we go eat dinner now?" She asks.

"Of course," I say.

Meredith cups my face. "I love you," She says.

"I love you too," I reply.

Meredith smiles and leaves the bathroom to go down to the kitchen. I turn off the light and follow her down the stairs.

When we reach the kitchen, Meredith is in a much better mood than she says been in days. I know it might not last, but I will spend the rest of my life just trying to make her happy.

I already put Cassie down for the night, so the baby monitor sits on the kitchen island next to where Meredith is getting us bowls and silverware. I fill both of the bowls with pasta and hand one over to my wife.

We go to sit down at the table when there's a crack of apparition.

Meredith and I exchange a look and the both of us are reaching for our wands and heading towards the front door. Our wards are strong and won't let anyone unauthorized in, but we've both been jumpy after the recent events.

Meredith peaks around the curtain and out into the front yard. The tension releases from her body momentarily before returning. "What are they doing here?" She mutters.

I look out the window beside her to see Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ron Weasley approaching our front door.

"Let them in," Meredith says.

"Mer-"

"I know, I know," She says.

I open the door just as they reach the porch and Meredith stands in the doorway beside me. "I'm sorry but I have to ask," I say. "Harry, what's the first thing you said to me when we met?"

"I said 'bloody hell, you look like Sirius'," Harry says. I open the doorway fully and let all of them inside.

"What are you lot doing here? Is everything okay?" Meredith asks. I can hear the concern in her voice.

The three teenagers exchange a look. Hermione clears her throat. "It's a bit of a long story," She says.

- - - - -

The five of us are seated at the table, all with bowls of pasta since the kids hadn't eaten dinner yet. Meredith keeps staring at Harry, Hermione, and Ron, then giving me questioning looks. I just shrug and shake my head.

Once everyone has eaten most of their food, Hermione reaches into her pocket and hands Harry a piece of paper.

"I was with Dumbledore on a mission to retrieve a Horcrux the night that he was killed," Harry says.

I drop my fork and it clatters against my bowl. Meredith has a look of shock on her face. "I take it you know about the Horcruxes then?" I ask once the initial shock wears off.

Harry flattens the piece of paper out on the table in front of me. "Do you?" He asks.

I take one glance at the parchment and know exactly what it is.

I can practically feel the burning in my lungs. The cold water and the hands clawing at my body, dragging me under the surface. The water starting to fill my lungs and the panic starting to set in.

I blink harshly and look away from the parchment. "What were you doing in the Cave?" I ask. "You're sixteen, Harry, you shouldn't be Horcrux hunting."

"Dumbledore said that one of the Horcruxes was there," Harry answers. "So he brought me along to help him retrieve it."

I frown, "Harry, Dumbledore knew that the Horcrux there was a fake. I gave him the real one in 1981."

"What-, then why would he-"

"Dumbledore isn't as good of a person as you think he is," Meredith says. "I'm not sure why he would bring you there if he knew it was a fake."

Ron leans his elbows on the table. "So you're R.A.B. then?"

"Yes," I answer. "Regulus Arcturus Black. I stole the real Horcrux when I was eighteen in July of 1979. I almost died-, I did die, briefly. Then I went on the run from Voldemort for two years before the war ended."

Harry, Hermione, and Ron are all staring at me with various degrees of shock on their faces. Meredith's body is tense in her seat beside me. Every time that I talk about what happened that night in the Cave, which is very rare, she goes very tense.

"You weren't much older than me," Harry says. "I turn seventeen in a few weeks."

I shake my head. "I did it because it was my only way to escape. I take it that Sirius told you a bit about our parents? And me maybe?"

"Uh-, a bit," Harry says.

"Did he tell you that I was a Death Eater?"

Three pairs of eyes widen and then Hermione is glancing down at my left forearm. "It's a disillusion charm," I tell her. I glance over at Meredith, who nods at me reassuringly and rests her hand on my knee. I reverse the charm, revealing the dark ink on my forearm.

"I defected. But you read my note, so you already know that," I explain. "This Horcrux was my only way to escape."

"Why'd you come back then?" Hermione asks.

"I bumped into Meredith in Greece and she helped me work out a deal to be able to come home. I gave the Horcrux to Dumbledore, the Order of the Phoenix made it safe for me to come back, and I had a trial. You could probably find a Daily Prophet article on it."

Harry sits up straighter. "So if Dumbledore had the Horcrux, who has it now?"

"I have no idea," I answer honestly.

Meredith shifts in her chair. "My dad used to work at the Ministry, and after someone without a next of kin dies the Ministry is in charge of their possessions." She frowns, "Which means that the Ministry will find it unless Dumbledore hid it."

"Oh great, so we're screwed then," Ron says, his voice cracking.