The Art of Living - R. Black

thirty two

November 3rd, 1997

The sky is gloomy outside of the windows, but I'm in a very good mood today so it doesn't even matter. Today is Cassie's first birthday.

I carry Cassie on my hip as I walk down the stairs. We're still living in the Manor in Scotland, mainly for safety reasons. Cassie just woke up so she's still in her pajamas. She keeps trying to touch my diamond earrings but she hasn't tried to rip them out yet so I let her.

When we walk into the kitchen Regulus has a look of concentration on his face as he attempts to write with icing on her birthday cake.

"How's the cake decorating going, darling?" I ask from the door to the kitchen.

Regulus looks up a bit surprised. He must've been so focused that he didn't hear us walk into the room. "Oh, hi," He says. "It's well-, it's going."

Cassie reaches her arms out toward her dad. "Dada," She says. Cassie's first word was mama, which was two weeks ago, then dada followed less than a week later.

"Hi, Cass," Regulus says. "Happy birthday!"

As if she knew what he was saying, Cassie starts clapping her hands as I walk over to wear my husband is standing.

Regulus gives me a kiss. "Hi, angel," He says. He takes Cassie from me and goes to put her in her highchair while I finish writing on the cake for him. It's not that bad. Regulus is an amazing cook but he's not the best at cake decorating.

Cassie is laughing at Regulus because he's making funny faces at her. She grabs his curly hair and yanks. I stifle a laugh into my hand as Regulus yelps in response. Cassie just laughs even harder at this.

Regulus glances over at me and grins. "It's not funny," He says.

"It's a bit funny," I say.

He comes to stand behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. Regulus kisses my neck and rests his head on my shoulder.

"How are you so much better than me at this?" He asks, peering over my shoulder at the cake.

I shrug, "I don't know. Practice?"

Regulus smiles and shakes his head. He makes pancakes for breakfast while I finish up the cake and cut some fruit for Cassie. We all sit at the table, with Cassie in her highchair, and I can't help but wish Atlas and Elio were here.

I actually wish a lot of people were here.

While today is Cassie's birthday, it's also Sirius's. There's an unspoken underlying sadness surrounding the day. Regulus is acting as if everything is fine, but I can tell that he's sad and he had a bad nightmare last night. He's putting on a show to make today a good day for Cassie even though she won't remember it.

- - - - -

Later in the afternoon, Remus shows up. Tonks has some Order business so she'll be over for dinner, so it's just the four of us for a bit.

"Remus, how are you?" I ask.

Remus gives me a hug. "I'm okay, doing a bit better today than I thought I would," He admits.

"That's good," I say. I lead Remus into the living room where Regulus is currently entertaining Cassie. She's holding her hands and helping her take steps. Her steps are wobbly but she's getting there pretty quickly.

"Remus is here," I announce upon entering the room.

Regulus looks up and smiles. "Hey, Remus, how are you?" He asks.

"Doing alright, you?" Remus asks.

Regulus shrugs, "Doing alright."

Remus steps further into the living room and crouches down. "Hi, Cassie, happy birthday," He says.

Cassie lets go of Regulus's hand and stands on her own. She's been doing this for a while so it's no surprise. What is a surprise is when Cassie takes a step toward Remus instead of sitting down on the floor.

"Oh my god, Reg, get the camera," I say, trying to keep my voice calm so that I don't distract her.

"Oh fuck," Regulus says. He fumbles for the camera that is sitting on the coffee table and he starts recording.

Cassie takes another step, then another, and then she walks the few remaining feet to Remus and falls into his arms.

"Holy shit," Remus says, looking down at Cassie. She starts laughing at the stunned expression on his face.

"She just walked, holy shit," I exclaim.

Regulus gestures for me to sit on the floor beside him. "Wait, see if she'll do it again," He says.

"Cass, go see mum and dad," Remus says, pointing at Regulus and me.

Cassie starts walking toward Regulus and me and falls into our extended arms. Regulus and I are both grinning like idiots from excitement and Cassie is smiling back at us.

"I guess the third times a charm," I tell Remus.

Atlas started walking five minutes after Remus left, Elio started walking the next morning, and now finally Cassie starts walking in the presence of her uncle.

"Finally," Remus laughs. "I thought it was a curse for a while there."

- - - - -

A little while later, Tonks arrives. She offers to watch Cassie for a bit while Regulus, Remus, and I all go back to the garden where Sirius's headstone is.

I bring a bouquet of flowers and Remus brings a bottle of Sirius's favorite firewhiskey.

We all sit on the grass in front of his headstone. I look at his grave and get sad that it's empty. I also get sad about the fact that his grave is one of several that I visit.

Sirius Orion Black. 3 November 1959 - 18 June 1996. Mischief Managed.

I change out the flowers, which are just now starting to die and replace them with the new ones I brought. Remus opens the bottle of firewhiskey and takes a swig before pacing it to Regulus. My husband takes a sip and then passes it to me. I take a sip as well then pace the bottle back to Remus.

"Happy 38th birthday, Sirius," Regulus says. "Merlin, you would be old."

Remus and I laugh and it makes the mood feel lighter somehow.

"Your niece says happy birthday by the way," He adds. "Or she would if she understood the concept of birthdays and could say more than two words, but you get the point."

He goes quiet so I say something.

"Happy birthday, Sirius," I say. "You would've loved Cassie and she would've adored you. I think she's a bit like you actually."

"I second that," Regulus says.

The three of us take turns telling stories about Sirius. Some embarrassing, some funny, and some really sweet. Regulus and I eventually go back inside to give Remus some time alone to talk to Sirius.

Remus hasn't visited his grave since he married Tonks and found out they're having a baby, which is definitely on purpose, so they have a bit to catch up on.

When Remus comes inside a bit later, the mood is much lighter again and we all go about celebrating Cassie's first birthday. Cassie absolutely loves Tonks, and Tonks adores her. Regulus makes dinner and the five of us eat.

We have cake and raise a glass to Sirius and it ends up being a really good day.

- - - - -

This is the last happy chapter of the whole fanfic, but bear with me guys I'm not going to massacre everyone...

We've got 8 chapter left and an epilogue!