The Art of Living - R. Black

twenty nine

Song for this chapter: Sign of the Times - Harry Styles

- - - - -

Regulus Black

I land in the front yard of the manor in Scotland. It's completely dark out since only a tiny sliver of the moon is out tonight. Cassie is crying in my arms and I bounce her a bit to try to get her to calm down. I hold my daughter close to my chest and hold my breath, waiting for Meredith and the boys to apparate here.

Cassie calms down slightly and stops screaming. I keep waiting. They were right behind me so they should be here by now.

Seconds tick by and I can feel a pit of dread settling in my stomach. They should be here by now.

My daughter finally settles down but I can feel my heart beating rapidly and I feel like I'm going to pass out. Something is wrong. They should be here.

There's a loud crack and a little bit of light. Meredith, Atlas, and Elio appear in the yard a few meters away from me.

"Oh, thank god," I say, finally feeling air enter my lungs again. I quickly close the distance between us and hug my family. I'm holding Cassie with one arm and hugging my sons with my other.

Meredith stands back and lets the boys hug me. When we break apart Meredith takes their spot. Atlas grabs his little sister from me so I can hug my wife properly.

"What took you so long?" I ask, my voice faltering. "I thought that-, I thought that I lost all of you."

Meredith cups the back of my neck with her hand as she buries her head into my shoulder. "I know, I didn't mean to scare you," She says. "I had to deflect some spells before we could apparate away safely."

I squeeze her tighter before we break apart.

"Are you boys okay?" I ask my sons.

"I'm okay," Elio says. He looks physically fine but looks quite shaken up.

Atlas has a blank expression on his face. "Me too," He says. "I almost got nicked with some stray glass but mum deflected it."

"Let's go inside boys," Meredith says. She grabs Cassie back from Atlas and kisses her head. Meredith wipes the tears off of our daughter's face and starts walking inside.

I can tell that it's absolutely breaking Meredith's heart that our children had to witness that. We've tried so hard to keep them out of everything so far, but you can only protect your kids from so much.

I wrap my arms around Atlas and Elio's shoulders and they both lean into my sides as we walk inside. Atlas is getting so tall that he reaches my jaw now. Elio is getting tall too, but he's still a year younger, and he reaches my shoulder height.

"I'm going to go put Cassie down," Meredith says. "And I'm going to send a patronus to Remus, Tonks, and Jack to make sure that they're all okay."

"I'll make some tea," I say.

Atlas and Elio follow me into the kitchen while Meredith goes upstairs with Cassie. I can hear her talking to our daughter and apologizing to her for something that was out of everyone's control. I understand it though because I feel guilty right now. Atlas has a blank expression on his face and keeps spacing out while Elio looks at me with puffy, bloodshot eyes.

"I'm sorry that you had to see that," I tell them. "Your mum and I have been trying to protect you both from all of this, but no one had any idea that was going to happen tonight."

"I know that dad," Elio says. "It's not you or mum's fault."

Atlas doesn't say anything for a minute. Then he looks up at me. "You don't have to protect me from things anymore," He says.

"What?" I ask, a startled look on my face.

"I know that there's a war, I know that people are being murdered and tortured," Atlas says. "So you don't have to protect me from that anymore, because I already know."

"Atlas, I'm always going to try to protect you from things. I'm your dad, I love you, so that's what I'll do," I say.

Elio looks back and forth between his brother and me. He looks uneasy about what Atlas is saying.

"You and mum weren't protected though. You both played a role in the first war and no one was there to try to stop you. You're being a hypocrite," Atlas says.

"Atlas, stop," Elio says, his voice stern.

I keep my face straight and tone calm as I speak even though I want to scream. Not at Atlas, never at anyone that I love, but scream at the world. It's not fair that they're forced to grow up facing the same things that I did. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

"We want to protect you because your mum and I have been here before. We both know how this is going to go, and that's why we want to protect you," I say. Atlas stares at me like he thinks I'm full of shit. "And there were people who tried to stop us. Your Aunt Marlene? She tried to do everything in her power to get your mum to stay out of the war. But your mum is a Gryffindor through and through, and she refused to sit back and watch people get hurt and killed."

"Why are we talking about Marlene?" Meredith asks.

All three of us look over at her. I didn't even hear her come in, but she's standing in the doorway to the kitchen.

"Atlas doesn't like that we're trying to shield him from the war," I tell her. "He thinks that we easily chose our roles in the first war."

"Oh," Meredith says. She walks into the kitchen and comes to stand beside me, facing both of our sons who are sitting at the island. "My sister didn't walk to me for a week after I said I wanted a role in the war. But, she was just as stubborn as me and I accused her of being a hypocrite so she lightened up on the matter." Meredith pinches the bridge of her nose and exhales. "My sister and my parents were killed because of Marlene and I, all because we didn't want to be shielded and protected anymore."

Atlas stares at Meredith. His expression is a bit softer than when I was talking to him, but he still looks like he's going to put up a fight.

"I know that you want to know what's going on, that you both do," Meredith adds. "But you're both so young. Sometimes there are things that we don't want you to know, not because we want to hide it, but sometimes it's good to be protected from some things."

"If you want to know more about what's happening, all you have to do is ask," I say. "I can't promise that we'll tell you everything because you are both so young, but we will tell you what's happening. Your mum and I want to protect you, not keep you in the dark."

Atlas speaks up. "Do you promise?"

"I promise," I answer.

"I promise," Meredith says.

Elio leans forward, his elbows resting on the marble countertop. "Can you tell me about-"

"In the morning," Meredith says. "It's half past one." Elio frowns and glances over at the clock. "Go to bed, get some sleep, and we can talk about this in the morning. I promise."

With that, Atlas and Elio say goodnight and both go upstairs to go to bed.

Once they're gone, Meredith leans back against the island and groans. "God, I was selfishly hoping we had more time before they started asking about all of that."

The entirety of the first war is a rough subject for both of us. We both lost so many people, but Meredith lost her entire family. Talking about what happened just brings back old memories and trauma.

"It's okay," I say, intertwining my hand with Meredith's. "We'll do it together."

- - - - -

I give it about 3 more chapters before you guys start hating me. All is fair in love and war.

Honorable mentions:

Regulus and Meredith trying to be the best parents and protect their kids

Atlas being a Gryffindor through and through. Wonder who he got that from...