The Art of Living - R. Black

thirty four

Song for the second part of the chapter: Back to Black - Amy Winehouse

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Meredith Black

December 28th, 1997

"Where's dad?" Elio asks.

I can hear Cassie start crying from upstairs. It took me so long to get her down for her morning nap and I got about thirty minutes to shower before Atlas and Elio woke up. I'm in the middle of trying to make breakfast and Cassie is crying for me to come to get her.

"Is breakfast almost done?" Atlas asks.

"Can you make bacon too?" Elio adds.

Cassie lets out another scream so I quickly stop what I'm doing to go upstairs to get her. "Just let me go get your sister, then I can make some bacon," I tell the boys. "It might be another fifteen minutes or so."

One of them mumbles something in response but I'm already exiting the kitchen. When I reach the second floor I go into Cassie's room and get her from her crib. I pick her up and hold her until she stops crying.

"It's okay, I'm here," I say. I bounce her slightly to try to get her to stop crying completely but she's been fussy all morning.

"Dada," Cassie says. She sniffles from crying and I have to fight the urge to start sobbing.

"I know, I know," I say. "Dad's not here right now."

She buries her face against my shoulder and makes a sound like she's going to start wailing again. I hold Cassie and bring her downstairs, where Atlas and Elio are arguing in the kitchen. I don't even know what they're arguing about but they're yelling at each other.

"Boys, stop arguing," I say.

They both go quiet and turn to look at me. "Sorry, mum," They both apologize.

I strap Cassie into her highchair and she smiles and starts babbling at her older brothers. Atlas makes funny faces at her to keep her entertained while I finish breakfast. I use magic to start cooking bacon while I finish cooking the pancakes that have managed not to burn solely because of magic.

It's been less than twelve hours without Regulus and everything seems to be falling apart.

I can manage all of the kids on my own whenever he would get stuck late at Grimmauld Place talking with Sirius and just decide to stay the night, but the universe is apparently out to get me today.

I get about fifteen minutes of peace while Atlas and Elio play with Cassie as I finish up breakfast. I'm setting plates full of food on the table when Elio asks again.

"Where's dad?" He asks.

I feel tears pricking at my eyes so I turn about to go grab silverware. "He had some business to go take care of," I answer.

"When is he coming back?" Atlas questions.

"I'm not sure," I say. "It might be a little while."

Elio frowns, "Will he be home before we go back to school?"

I shake my head. "No, I don't think so," I say, begging my voice not to waver.

"He didn't even say goodbye," Atlas says, sounding disappointed.

"He left really late last night," I explain. "He-," My voice cracks, "he left in a bit of a rush."

Atlas stops eating his pancakes and sets down his fork. "Mum, are you okay?" He asks. Elio copies his motions and pauses to look at me. Cassie continues to babble in her highchair while making a mess with her food.