Lovers in Denial (a Chuuya x Akutagawa fanfic)

Chapter 20: The Truth Comes Out

Late at night yesterday, a certain few mafiosos had come to the decision that they were going to confess their feelings to each other at last, and they intended to do just that.

...Yep. They totally weren't having second thoughts at all. Them? No way. Not at all. Ever.

...Ok yes, they were. But only a little bit.

Akutagawa was the most nervous. He wasn't sure he wanted to risk one of his only friendships over some troublesome feelings that wouldn't go away. Aside from that, he'd never had any experience with romance. He felt guilty for thinking his first thought, though. He didn't think badly of Chuuya at all, he just didn't know if the redhead liked him back. And now he just felt all conflicted again. This was so fun.

I shouldn't think that way. Chuuya would never turn his back on me even if he didn't return my feelings. He'd still be my friend. I know that, so why am I so worried? Plus, Gin and Q gave me so much advice whenever I needed it. Wouldn't I be letting them down if I didn't take any of it? I really need to get a grip. Chuuya's an amazing guy and he'd never hurt me. Maybe he won't return my feelings, but shouldn't I confess to him anyway? I feel like I'm lying to him more and more the longer I put off confessing, Akutagawa thought.

Meanwhile, the redhead was also hesitating. Not as much as Akutagawa, but he was still second-guessing himself a little. What if Akutagawa didn't like him back? What if things went wrong?

No. I can't keep hesitating like this. Kunikida, Ane-san, and Q did not give me all that advice for me to just give up. I shouldn't quit while I'm ahead. I don't typically do that, so why would I start now? he wondered.

Chuuya shook his head and tried to get rid of those thoughts. He could do this. Just yesterday he had been ready to confess to Akutagawa, so he couldn't give up now. He was Chuuya Nakahara, and he didn't quit. He never did. And he wasn't about to start now. He was going to march right up to his dear friend and confess his undying love to him.

...Or he would've, if he weren't sent out on a mission. He had no desire to do anything Mori asked after how much he'd suffered at the hands of his diabolical boss. But he figured he probably should follow orders whether he wanted to or not. If he had to when he and Mori weren't on bad terms, he figured that wouldn't change when they were on bad terms. Aside from that, maybe if he obeyed orders then it would get Mori to stop believing he was a traitor. Not that he particularly cared how Mori viewed him. He would just rather stay alive and keep Akutagawa and Q safe. As long as he could do that, he was fine with being viewed as a bad guy.

As it turned out, Akutagawa also ended up being really busy with work that day. He was frustrated because all he wanted to do was confess to Chuuya before he chickened out yet again. But apparently a certain bad boss had other plans. And it completely and totally sucked.

As for Q, they didn't have a ton of work to do that day. So instead, they just hung out with Elise and Gin for most of the day.

"So Elise, guess what?" Q asked.

"What?" Elise wanted to know.

"Chuuya and Akutagawa are some of the most oblivious people to ever walk this earth," Q declared.

Elise snickered. "Spill the tea."

"They very obviously like each other but they can't seem to see it," Q explained.

"...Wow. They really are oblivious," Elise remarked.

"That they are," Gin agreed.

Q had an evil grin. "I'm gonna tease them so much later."

Gin laughed. "As you should."

Elise smirked. "That sounds like fun."

Finally, Chuuya and Akutagawa got some time off at the end of the day. They'd been working for hours and they were both exhausted. But they had one more mission to complete: the one they'd been avoiding for what felt like ages, if only because they didn't know how they felt about each other. It was finally time. They were going to confess.

Chuuya, ever the bold one, decided to make the first move. He walked up to his coworker. "Hey, Akutagawa? Could you come with me?"

Is he going to do what I think he's going to do? Akutagawa wondered. "Sure."

Chuuya smiled. "Great!" He took Akutagawa's hand and led him outside.

The two of them walked for awhile until they reached the spot they'd hung out at what felt like forever ago. It felt like years had passed since they hung out here with Q while taking a break from work and their relaxing hangout had quickly turned into a scary situation where Chuuya had gotten shot and all three of them were worried that Chuuya might not make it. Since that day, none of them had returned to this spot. But that all changed today, for Chuuya and Akutagawa had made their return.

Chuuya noticed he was still holding Akutagawa's hand. Even just weeks ago, he probably would've hastily let go of it. This time though, he kept holding his colleague's hand.

"Erm...Chuuya? You're still holding my hand," Akutagawa spoke up.

"Do you want me to let go?" Chuuya asked.

Akutagawa shook his head. "Not at all. It actually feels really comforting."

Chuuya smiled softly. "Alright." He kept holding Akutagawa's hand.

"So, um...why'd you bring me out here?" Akutagawa asked.

Chuuya wasn't about to back down now, but that didn't mean he wasn't wondering if he was currently having a heart attack. "I...have something I need to tell you."

"I do too, actually," Akutagawa admitted. Then he panicked internally. "I-I mean..."

Chuuya tilted his head. "You do?"

"Erm...nevermind. Forget I said anything. You go first," Akutagawa stammered.

Chuuya was confused.

"Really, Chuuya. I insist," Akutagawa continued.

Chuuya nodded. "Alright." He took a minute to just gaze at the man he'd fallen in love with and appreciate his beauty. Then he remembered that Akutagawa was waiting on him to say something, so he decided to do just that. "Akutagawa...there's something I've come to realize lately. I've always cared about you, but I wasn't sure how to word it. I didn't know if I only saw you as a friend or what. After lots of thought and advice seeking, I've finally figured it out. I love you."

Akutagawa was frozen in shock for a minute. Had he heard that right? Chuuya just confessed to him? He never expected the redhead to actually return his feelings. Not when he could do so much better. But Chuuya did return his feelings.

"Are you ok?" Chuuya asked, concerned by the way Akutagawa had just frozen up.

Akutagawa snapped out of it. "Oh, um...yeah, I am. Sorry."

"It's all good. And...it's fine if you don't feel the same way about me. I just wanted to tell you the truth because I don't like feeling as if I'm hiding anything from you." Chuuya had averted his gaze a bit.

"Chuuya..." Akutagawa was watching the redhead.

Chuuya looked at Akutagawa.

Akutagawa held his gaze. "I really do appreciate you being honest with me. It means a lot to me that you trust me that much. I've been feeling the same way, actually. Caring about you but not knowing how to describe it. I've also figured it out. I love you, too."

Chuuya's face broke into a smile. "You do?"

Akutagawa smiled back and nodded.

Bold as he was, Chuuya stepped closer to his coworker.

Akutagawa's heart sped up.

Chuuya put one arm around Akutagawa's back, placed his other hand on his face, and pulled him into a kiss.

Akutagawa kissed back and wrapped his arms around the smaller man.

The two of them stayed that way for a long time, not knowing just how much they'd both wanted this until now. They may have gone ages being oblivious and denying their potential feelings, but all that had done was make them long for each other even more. Lesson learned, it was better to not be in denial. At least now they knew.

After what felt like forever, they pulled away and just gazed at each other. This moment couldn't have been more perfect, romantic, absolutely amazing and so worth the wait. Chuuya and Akutagawa had confessed their undying love to each other at last, and that love truly would remain undying.