Happy Merry Everything (Charlie Barber)

Merry-Go-Round

 Christmas in New York. What a sight to behold. The tree lighting in Rockefeller Center was a few days out, the lights of which added a festive glow outside your office window. No matter how many times you passed by the tree lit up in all its grandeur or the countless other trees illuminating various parts of the city, the experience was the same. This rang true every holiday. The feeling washed over you every time you unwrapped that first gift or wherever you marveled in childlike wonder at the sight of falling snow. The holiday season was your favorite of all and this year, you were fortunate enough to spend it with Charlie.

This particular year tugged at your heartstrings more than usual. December was just beginning and as you danced through the days in the present, your mind seemingly waltzed with the past. Every day brought with it the memory of meeting Charlie. A few weeks from now on Christmas morning, you'd be snuggled beneath covers of a cozy king bed. A hand would chart the map of your body, its large digits roaming mountains, dipping into valleys until they grazed over your side and slid lower to grace the small of your back. The gentle breath of a lover would puff against your cheek while the comfortable glow of body heat radiated against your chest. And as you opened your eyes, there before you would be the man who, with a simple greeting, had turned your world upside down and changed your life—your midnight texter.

Charlie had leapt as much as you did that night, both of you braving the unknown in light of seasonal occasion. There was no need to continue the conversation; it could have died as easily as it started. Whether it was a longing for companionship or good will towards man that ultimately led you to indulge the other, you would never know. The idea you had grown so close over texts and phone calls and only met in person some ten months ago left you speechless.

Ten months. You could barely wrap your head around it. How two people could do so much living in the span of 10 months was beyond you, but here you were. A wistful feeling came over you as you considered the anniversary of that fateful text. If only you would have taken a screenshot for safe keeping, but there was no way you could have known. Never in a million years or thousand lifetimes could you have ever planned on Charlie walking into your life.

It was a happenstance the gratitude of which knew no end. Who would've thought?

Certainly not you. There you were in your respective rooms, wide awake strangers unabashedly baring their souls, each one coming before the other with baggage from their life's journey, carefully unpacking every milestone and setback, critiquing and inspecting, all within moments of introduction. It was a fearful concept that should have held more weight, but instead was the most natural thing in the world.

When Charlie would tease, you'd take it and were more than happy to dish it right back; He welcomed it. Truth be told, the unplanned tête-à-tête was in part the best blind date you'd ever had. Each reply had you feeling more giddy; your smile increasingly grew wider until you felt your jaw grow weary with a contented ache near the apples of your cheeks. You scolded yourself back then, wondering what the fuck you were doing each time the urge to flirt presented itself, but it couldn't be helped. Charlie was disarming with his irresistible charm. His responses were so nonchalant and sure of self. It was refreshing. He never shied away from challenging you nor did conversations grow cold and opinions turn timid when it came to speaking his mind. You liked him instantly. You knew nothing about him (not really) or his features, yet you found yourself in a cinematic cliche developing a rapport with someone you'd never met.

But Charlie wasn't NY152 and you weren't the owner of the quaint multi-generational bookstore around the corner. You weren't the lead in some Nora Ephron movie playing out on the silver screen, but you might as well have been, and for that very reason, you allowed yourself to dream.