Sometime ago, deep within an abandoned warehouse; Minerva stands before a glowing incubation chamber as the melody of the song “The Scientist” by Coldplay fills up all of the empty spaces within a makeshift laboratory.
Carefully placed throughout the laboratory are various scientific and medical machines of an advanced technical origin. With tubes and hoses connected from pumps and chemical tanks back into the incubation chamber.
Various computer screens emit characters of an unknown origin, along with the magnified image of a double helix.
And as the song continues to play, Minerva places the palm of her hand gently on the glass chamber and speaks softly to the being contained within.
Minerva: You little one, will be my greatest creation. A benign creature, born of love. My gift to the sons of man. You will do great things, child.
Inside the chamber a small, newborn puppy twitches gently as if in response to Minerva’s words...
Shortly after the events of the last Kinder Cosmic our heroes are gathered amongst a celebratory crowd of human beings, standing amongst one another in a common area. The aliens are saying their goodbyes, for there time on our earth has come to an end.
Luna: I still don’t understand why you have to go!
Alpha responds endearingly
Alpha: Because we have other responsibilities, Luna. This isn’t our home, it is a world among many of which we are needed.
Jorg: We’ll miss you Luna! And we won’t be gone forever. Nothing is forever!
He smiles at Luna as she begins to cry.
Luna: But you’re my friends!
Minerva peacefully takes her hand and consoles her.
Minerva: And they will always be with you...
Alf barks reassuringly and wags his tail excitedly.
Suddenly, both the USSF and NASA reps from the previous Kinder Cosmics approach.
USSF: Hi there fellas, seen you’ve been busy.
Jorg responds mischievously
Jorg: HOWDY PAW PAW!
The two representatives chuckle as the NASA Rep begins to speak.
NASA Rep: Before you go, we’ve brought the two of you a gift.
Jorg exclaims enthusiastically.
Jorg: A GIFT!?! IS IT DRUGS!?
USSF Rep responds sarcastically
USSF Rep: You’d like that wouldn’t you you little shit!? No Jorg, it’s not drugs but we think you’ll like it just the same.
NASA Rep: If you’ll follow us...
And so the group proceeds to follow the administrators to the back of the MIT facility. Where Jorg’s spacecraft is seated, reconstructed through human engineering, glistening in the sunlight and resting upon a grassy hilltop.
Jorg hops up and down then exclaims excitedly.
Jorg: MY HOTROD!
NASA Rep: Now we’ve had to make a few modifications...
USSF Rep: We couldn’t find any of those perverted little critters the two of you originally used to power it so we used the next best thing.
NASA Rep: An experimental, military issue warp drive. It should function similarly. But it’s untested.
Jorg clamps down on the leg of the USSF Rep.
Jorg: OH THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! This is the best Christmas EVER da-
The Rep pushes Jorg off of his leg, once again.
USSF Rep: You never lose that twisted sense of humor do you?
Jorg just shrugs in response, grinning mischievously.
And so the aliens and Alf each embrace Luna one by one and say their goodbyes.
Luna: Promise me you’ll never lose yourself again!
Alpha: I promise I’ll do my best, Luna!
Luna: That’ll have to do!
*she wipes a tear from her eye.
Luna: BEHAVE JORG!
Jorg: I’ll try Luna...
Luna: YOU’D BETTER!
She sheds yet another tear
Luna: Whose my special little guy!?!
Alf barks agreeably and licks Luna’s tears away profusely as she sets him down and he scampers off into the spaceship after Jorg.
Luna: Take care of them, please.
Minerva: I promise, I will.
Minerva points towards the crowd of humans gathered to say goodbye.
Minerva: And you take care of them.
Luna: I-I will!
As even more tears stream down her face she watches as her friends all board the spaceship one by one.
Suddenly, Jorg pokes his head back out of the spaceship.
Jorg: HEEEY LUNA!
Luna: Yes Jorg!?
Jorg: Make sure you tell your kids about me!
Luna answers with a confused embarrassment.
Luna: What makes you think I want to ha-
Jorg smiles knowingly and winks at Luna before returning back into the spaceship.
Inside the cockpit Jorg eyes it’s control panel and laughs maniacally.
Jorg: Bam!
And just as the little alien pounds a button on the panel an electronic melody blares throughout the cockpit of the craft, from the vessel itself in an almost deafening volume as neon lights flash all around the craft in synchronization with the music.
It’s the song “Intergalactic” by the Beastie Boys.
As the people of earth, gathered before the departing spacecraft look on; cheering and dancing to the music. The craft slowly rises into the air, rumbles and shakes slightly, then blasts through the air at an immeasurable speed.
Luna looks on, waving goodbye to her otherworldly friends as tears continue to stream down her face.
In earth’s upper atmosphere; the craft abruptly stops and then makes a sharp, 90 degree turn, then zig zags aimlessly, then abruptly stops once more as the music continues to play.
Alpha: JORG!
Jorg: WHOOOPS!
The spaceship once more continues to zoom through cosmos, surrounded by the ethereal beauty of space booming with the vibration of sound waves deafened by it’s all encompassing vacuum.
Inside the cockpit of Jorg’s spaceship Alf can be seen floating in zero gravity, kicking his chubby little legs fruitlessly and nodding his head to the rhythm of the music as Jorg floats about the craft, with crystals all over his face, dancing and reciting the lyrics to the song with a talk box in his mouth...
In another point in time; long, long ago or in the distant future. All a matter of perspective...
A sheepherder is tending to his flock on warm midsummer night when all of a sudden he is bombarded by a flash of multicolored neon light; accompanied by a very familiar hip hop tune.
Before he can gather his wits he’s surrounded by a bright white light and lifted off of his feet, high into the air.
Inside the mysterious object that kidnapped the sheepherder; now lying face down on a surgical table all he can make out amongst a blinding white light are two bizarre looking grey figures. Their faces covered in white surgical masks:
Jorg: Scalpel!
Alpha hands Jorg the instrument
Alpha: Scalpel...
The little alien works feverishly cutting away the trousers of the half conscious, unsuspecting human.
Jorg: Proctoscope!
Alpha hands Jorg the second instrument.
Alpha: Proctoscope...
Jorg shoves the surgical instrument into the anal cavity of the delirious human patient and frantically fiddles with the device to a preferred adjustment.
Jorg: Exocrystals!
Alpha now hands over a small pile of radiant, glowing crystals.
Alpha: Exocrystals...
Shortly thereafter the limp, unconscious body of the unsuspecting sheepherder can be seen flailing from the craft from a short height as he hits the ground, rolls down a hillside and into a nearby tree.
Jorg snickers and speaks to Alpha as the craft once again blasts throughout the void of space and into the unknown.
Jorg: They’ll never find em’ in there...
