Once Upon a Dream (Golden Guard x Gender-Neutral Reader)

Pillow Fights With The Homies Aren't Gay If the Socks Stay On

Part of you wished you had pulled a "too slow," but you didn't want him thinking your deal wasn't genuine. You pulled them on Luz all the time, now she hardly trusted any extensions from you. Little did she know you were training her. One day someone would fall victim to her trap, and you'd rejoice from wherever you were, but now was not that time. Now was the time to figure out what the fuck you were gonna do to get outta this mess!
You kneeled to the ground and cautiously examined the rune. After a few seconds of doing this, and him having not gotten the memo, you pulled Blondie down by his cape. He exclaimed in surprise before steadying himself.
"Hey! Be careful! We don't know how sensitive this thing is!"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever! Do you see any thinned lines?"
The Golden Guard tapped against his mask, the repetitive tink blending into the rain's pattering. You mimicked, in hope that this action would summon what you seeked. I sure hope this works, otherwise I'll definitely be late to clock out. You hmphed and gazed harshly at the spell. There had to be at least one thinned area!
"There's a thin line there." You whipped your head in the direction of Blondie's voice. You followed his arm, which pointed down to a thinning. Perfect!
"Nice job, Blondie! This should be perfect." You stood back up and gave the Golden Guard a head pat of approval.
"What the fuck was that- OH MY TITAN!!" He interrupted himself with a cry of shock. You had kicked through the thinning, creating a gap in the circle. With that, the spell's dim glow faded away. From the void that surrounded you emerged a light. Mortis. He was once again holding an orb in his little antennae, illuminating the surrounding area.
"You didn't warn me or anything?!" His voice drew your attention, turning you away from your staff's light to look at him. A Hooty reminiscent mask was glaring up at you, his body trembling with either anger or fear, possibly both. He stood up, probably as an attempt to look more menacing. It didn't work.
The hissing rain and distant growls couldn't fill the awkward silence. There the two of you stood, facing each other, the same question on your minds. You scratched your ear.
"So..." You began.
"... So... what now?" He finished.
"Well, I've fulfilled my part of the bargain, now I guess you fill yours."
"Uh huh, and why do you want me to stay with you again?"
"I want answers." You took a step closer. "Don't you?"
The wind howled like a caged animal in between your question and his response.
"Actually, I do." You weren't surprised, that's how it usually went in encounters between law enforcers and criminals. He had also proven to be a very questioning boy.
"Oh? And what would those answers be?" Did he know about the dreams? Did he have his own? Was he still wondering how you knew he was blond?
"How'd you know how to deactivate that spell?" Huh. You totally thought he was gonna be all like "why are you a criminal??? 🥺🥺 This isn't you, valued criminal of the Boiling Isles!! 🥺🥺" That shit they spit to get you on their side! After the shock wore off, you just shrugged.
"Spell circles that can exist without their casters present can also be deactivated without their casters present. We just had to find a way to safely disconnect the flow of magic circulating through these markings!" You elaborated as you pulled him up by his hood. "In this case, the safest way to do it was by finding a weak point in the spell and breaking it there. From what I can tell though, this spell shouldn't have been too dangerous."
That last part was a lie. You guys would have been vaporized.
You grabbed onto his hood and the two of you walked out of the spell circle. Well you walked, he kinda got dragged out and staggered after you to catch up with his cloak.
"Well obviously I knew that!" Dreamboy yanked himself free of you. "... but how'd you know that? It's not that I'm- I just- well you- where'd you learn that?"
His curiosity filled you with warmth. "Wonder" and "awe" were better words for the voice he'd adopted. In its own way, it was kinda adorable. Like a little kid seeing candy for the first time! The thought of a baby Blondie gawking at a chocolate bar had you repressing giggles. Not very well, but still!
"There's this book, Bones to Earth: A Study of Wild Magic, it's about the science behind wild magic and how it works. In chapter nine, the author goes into detail about the magical current that powers our spells. With that knowledge provided, it made it easy to find a weak spot and destroy the spell from there. I highly recommend the book, but it's hard to get a hold of since it's banned." You pursed your lips and awaited a response. The blank look across the Golden Guard's mask didn't comfort you.
"That was... surprisingly intelligent. You cited your sources and everything!" Dreamboy weaved around some rubble. "... Could you tell me more?"
The roar of thunder and the flashing lights of the storm's rage interrupted your response. You felt the Golden Guard's arm rub against yours.
"I guess? Not out here though, this is lowkey scar- wait, did you just call me dumb in a backhanded sorta way?"
"Well, I definitely wasn't insinuating you displayed an average amount of intelligence at any given moment."
"So you do think I'm dumb! >:["
"What's 12 x 12?"
"..."
"7 x 9?"
"..."
"8 x 4?"
"Let's move on."
The two of you retreated further into the building, seeking out a safe, intact room to shelter in. It seemed impossible at first. Each room the two of you pressed into either had no roof, was missing a wall, or inhabited by animals. It also didn't help that the tension was as thick as the storm. Every noise you made, he'd snap to look at you. Every time you slowed behind, he would slow with you. Hell, at one point you sneezed (with the mask on, which is gross) and he lit up his staff! You were almost about to give up, ditch this twitchy trooper, and room with the batcoons for the night, that's when you found it.
The room was located on the southwest tower of the temple. It wasn't very large, but it was quite cozy. There were cushions and pillows littered everywhere, and it was one of the few rooms where the window wasn't broken. Books were scattered across the floor, some of them open. You knelt down and swiped away about two centimeters of dust off the pages of one book. Thank Titan you were wearing gloves!
"Woah... Nobody's been up here in a long time." The Golden Guard narrated your thoughts. You turned to him. He was examining a candle that had been braided with several other candles.
"Can you light these? I'm not fond of sitting with strangers in the dark." He requested of you. You would have done it anyways if you weren't opposite them.
"You're closer, you do it. We're not exactly strangers though." You rearranged a few cushions to act as a sort of nest for you and Morty. As you were fluffing them up, you saw a warm glow spread through the room. Over your shoulder, you spotted Blondie lighting all the candles in the room with his staff. Weird, but whatever. You went back to your pillows. The room felt warmer all at once, not the comfortable sort of warm though. The nervous sort of warmth.
"What do you mean 'we're not exactly strangers?'"
"I mean, we've met each other before." You casted your eyes over your shoulder. He was doing the same. You caught Mortis out of the corner of your eye, trying to crawl towards the burning candles. NO!!! You craned your body as you reached for your palisman, blocking him from the Golden Guard's view while you tucked him into your jacket. You positioned yourself to face him and tried to nest into your bedding in a carefree way. The vigilant atmosphere made that difficult though. By the time you settled, Blondie was sitting across from you.
"That doesn't mean we trust each other, or even know each other really." He sat his staff down next to him.
"Yeah, but it's not like we don't know each other. Like if I saw you in a crowd of people, I'd know it was you." You wound your hand as you explained. His mask looked more blank than ever before.
"I wonder how." He was not amused. You rolled your eyes.
"We both did extensive investigating on each other," You crossed your arms. "That has to be worth something!"
"We stalked each other, that doesn't excuse the fact that we've only met twice."
"We have met more than twice!" You corrected. Wait. You've met him more than twice.
"Oh?" He cooed. The Golden Guard scooted closer to the center of the room.
"And when would those times be?"
You blinked, fingers tapping anxiously against the pillows beneath you.
"Oh you know. That time you tried to arrest me in the alley way, right now, whenyouinterregatedmeinOldeBonesborough-" Your voice faded away into nervous murmurs at the end.
"What was that last part?" He leaned forward.
"In my loveliest dreams🖤~"
"'Dreams?'" Blondie echoed, putting a good dash of annunciation on the s. "As in plural? Wow, you think of me a lot, don't you?" His words were dry and curled with a smidge of flirtatious tones at their ends. It carved a crescent moon upon your lips.
"What can I say? I just can't get you off my mind!" You chuckled. He had no idea how true that statement was. If you were right, and this Blondie and Blondie of your dreams were the same person, then he'd been on your mind for over a decade. How were you supposed to figure out that it actually was him though?
"Is it not a mutual thing though? I mean, you did research on me, plastered my face all over town, followed me through the woods, saved my life, I wouldn't be surprised if I showed up in a few of your dreams. That is, if you ever sleep. I'm actually convinced you're spending every waking moment piecing together my patrol routine just to see my lovely face!"
The Golden Guard paused, then rubbed the back of his neck. Your mouth fell open.
"Oh my gods. You are, aren't you?" You pointed at the boy.
"Pfff- No!" He turned away from you and snatched up one of the old books, pretending to read. You pushed yourself forward and lowered the tattered tolm.
"Look me dead in the eyes and tell me you're not!"
"I can't see your eyes."
"I can see yours!" There they were again, illuminated by the candle light. They were avoiding you as if they'd be gouged out if they didn't. His eyes darted back to meet yours and widened before dashing off again.
"Why'd you look away? Can't handle my lie-detecting stare?" Your smug smile leaked into your words. Through the slit of his mask, you could see the space between his eyes scrunch up.
"Well pardon me for not wanting to look my enemy in the eye!" He snapped.
"Oh no! Eyeballs! Are you that easy to scare?" You let your head drop to one side.
"No!"
"Then prove it!"
The Golden Guard hmphed, a frustrated silence about him. His arms crossed tightly over his chest and you imagined a pout was playing on his lips.
"Fine." He muttered. There you sat, waiting for him to look at you. You could feel little moths rattling your insides as he tapped his fingers repeatedly against his knee. He sighed before letting his eyes meet yours.
You couldn't help but gape as the two of you locked eyes. Against the warm colors of the flame, his eyes shimmered like stars reflecting in a red wine sea. His eyes didn't match his personality. As a person, you found the Golden Guard to be a strong young man. He was calculated, confident, unstoppable. His eyes though... His eyes were tired. They held sorrow, weakness, pain, fear, all of these emotions swirled together in one coherent shade, dulled and numbed into two irises. He was exhausted. He was lonely. He was older than he should have been.
He was so much like you.
"There! Are you happy?" You blinked back into consciousness at Blondie's words.
"You didn't say you weren't memorizing my patrol." You pointed out, still making eye contact. Silence.
"Blondie?"
"..."
"Blondie."
"..."
"Blondie! Speak to me, hun!"
"What did you just say?"
You groaned and fell back onto the floor, pushing yourself back onto your pillow pile. He's actually trying to memorize my patrol shifts. Thank Titan I'm inconsistent as fuck! You tucked your hands behind your head and crossed your legs, (not putting your dirty ass boots on the fabric cause that shit is diabolical,) nuzzling into a comfortable position. You blinked up at the ceiling. It had lovely paintings on it that had only partially faded. The sun and moon, clouds, stars, and a deity dangling between it all.
You pulled one of the pillows from beside you and raised it in the air. Nothing. You waved it. Nothing. You shook it again, this time clearing your throat. Shuffling. A moment later, he was kneeling next to you and grabbing the pillow. Very cautiously, but he was taking it. Your empty hand pointed up at the ceiling, which stole Dreamboy's attention. He looked down at you, then up. He inhaled a short gasp.
"Pretty, isn't it?"
"I'd say it's more 'curious' than 'pretty.'" He settled his pillow at the opposite end of the room. He disappeared from your line of vision. You lifted your head up and caught sight of one golden boy, hugging a pillow, back against the wall, and knees tucked up to his chest. He was taking in the ceiling. You noticed how his hand was ghostwriting as he articulated his thoughts.
"That deity looks quite familiar to a god who's worship began approximately 10,000 years ago. The religion was based off appeasing the entity no matter the cost, whether that be hours of endless labor, intense quests, or even self sacrifice. It's honestly astonishing how people back then could let their entire lives be centered entirely around the approval of one being. You don't really see that nowadays."
You know the Windows error noise? That was what best described your emotion in that moment. His last few sentences made you fold your hands in front of your mouth. Did this bitch really not see the correlation here?
"You do realize that's exactly what you guys do with Emperor Belos, right?" His ghostwriting stopped as soon as the sentence's final syllable retreated from your lips. He looked at you. His posture tensed.
"That is not true." He decided after a few seconds of staring. He clenched his pillow tighter. His tone was determined, like it wasn't just an opinion, but a universal law that applied everywhere. You laid your head back down.
"How is that not true, exactly?" You were concerned about what his answer would be. The Golden Guard scoffed.
"Well one; we joined the Emperor's Coven because we wanted to, not because we were afraid the Emperor would smite us if we didn't."
"Mhm, and what would happen if you didn't join a coven at all?"
"We'd be deemed as unclean and unfit to live on the Boiling Isles, then we'd be arrested and branded into a coven for the greater good."
"And if you didn't get caught?"
"Wild witches always get caught." You laughed. Not only were there a plethora of wild witches that had never been captured, you were raised by the most infamous of them all! Eda the Owl Lady had been caught before, sure, but she always escaped without being branded. Always.
"Okay, maybe not all of them, but they'll pay for it one day!" You'd heard it before, coming from him though, it seemed scarier than it used to be.
"So you're saying the choices are to join a coven or be punished? That doesn't sound like much of a choice."
"Well it's the Titan's will, not the Emperor's." It was painful to hear him earnestly defending that heinous man.
"Are you sure though? I mean, do you have any evidence other than his own word that the Emperor can actually speak to the Titan? And if the Emperor can speak to the Titan, you'd think there'd be others that could as well-"
"Well there's not! And the Emperor doesn't need to lie about the Titan, he has no reason to!"
"Oh, I can think of plenty of reaso-mphm!" Your final words were smothered by a pillow. Blondie had thrown his cushion at you! You jolted up, sending the pillow flying off your face. There you sat, your mouth agape in disbelief.
"Did you just betray me with the very pillow I gave you?!" Your fingers gripped around some plush. "After all we've been through! I can't believe it!"
"'All we've been through' is literally just fighting, more fighting, and getting caught in a spell circle with each other. Frankly I'm surprised I didn't do something like that sooner! After all, you're not difficult to beat." His words sparked coal inside your skull. You could feel steam billowing in your brain.
"Excuse me? I have bested you twice!" His whole body made a motion that said "eyeroll." Did he not realize your win streak here?
"You ran away the first time-"
"'Outsmarted you,' is what you meant to say."
"-And then I practically had you wrapped up-"
"Then I activated the ghost pillar and outsmarted you AGAIN!" The boy waved his hand in a dismissive manner and turned away from you. "You didn't outsmart me, we made a truce!"
"And you didn't beat me either!" He brooded like the teenager he was. He must have known you were right! It was impossible for a person of his intellect to ignore that! Then again, pride can often cloud the mind to obvious truths. You sneered at the excuse to redeem yourself swiftly approaching. You only needed him to say one more bitter thing in order to push you over the edge-
"Well you didn't win. It's not like you're strong enough to beat me anyways." He grumbled. A full blown combustion went off in your mind. You took the pillow you were gripping in your hands and raised it above your head too fast for Blondie to react.
"THAT'S IT!" You cried before launching yourself at him. You slammed the pillow on top of his head, a small plume of feathers erupting from the side. The feathers fluttered delicately on and around him like falling snow.
"Hey!" He scolded you, but you could hardly hear him over the sound of your own laughter. "That's in violation of our truce!"
You sighed in satisfied glee, tucking feathers back into the cushion.
"I wouldn't call a pillow fight a 'violation of our truce.' It was just harmless fun!"
"'Fun?'" He quoted. "You think attacking people is 'fun?'"
"If neither party ends up hurt and they both have a good time, then yes." You let the pillow flop to the floor. A cloud of feathers poofed out of it once again. "And you have to admit, that was pretty fun."
Dreamboy rested his arms on his knees and his chin on his arms. The lights flickered as you waited for his response.
"I guess it wasn't terrible... and I am indeed unharmed..." He concluded. You grinned.
"So the Golden Guard does know what fun is!" You began walking with your knees, one in front of the other, feet off the ground. Your spine stood straight and your arms were stretched like a tightrope walker's as you battled to keep yourself balanced.
"If I didn't know any better I'd say you just made fun of me."
"Well I definitely wasn't insinuating you displayed an average amount of fun at any given moment."
"Now you're mocking me!"
"Maybe I am! What're you gonna do about it?"
"Alright, you asked for it!" Blondie threw himself toward the mound of pillows, taking you with him as he wrapped one arm around your torso. The landing was broken by the cushions, but that didn't mean you were safe just yet! In a moment's notice, you were being whacked repeatedly with a patterned queen pillow. Thank Titan for the mask, otherwise you'd probably be spitting out feathers!
"Oh! So we're gonna play like that?" You beamed from ear to mostly missing ear. You seized another pillow and blocked the Golden Guard's attacks. The two of you began dodging each other, weaving around pillows and plush alike in order to win the battle. He just about took you down with a solid bop from the left, thankfully you managed to fall backwards fast enough to avoid it. As you rose back up, you slumped Dreamboy on the side. He let out an "oof" as he toppled down to the floor. Looking at the boy trying to recollect himself, you realized something.
There was no mercy left in you.
You shoved him back down and pummeled him playfully with what was left of the cushion. Your eyes were glued shut with laughter and for a moment, a brief moment, you thought you heard his own echoing around. After about 20 seconds of raging war, your arms fell tired to your sides. You could hear your own breaths buzzing in your chest. You also noticed a distinct lack of a counterattack. Your eyes shuttered open, and upon the darkness lifting you found him just staring up at you. His hood must have fallen off in the battle, as his tufts of platinum hair were on display. Your eyes must have been the size of saucers.
In your dreams, Blondie always had hair just like this. Usually though, his hair was combed back neatly out of his face. Now his hair was all askew, no doubt because of your intense battle. You also noticed another detail that reflected your dreams. His right ear had a chip in it. Almost a perfect triangle torn off. You reached up to your own. Just as you opened your mouth to speak, so did he. Your words mashed together, followed by silence, then another mashing, and silence once more.
"So you really are blond." You finally managed to spit out, trying to make it sound dry as possible. Two heartbeats bum-bumped through your ears before any words scattered the air.
"And you can really make things float." You lifted your head. All around the room you saw feathers floating around. Pages of books were standing straight in the air. Even candle flames appeared to sway with the lack of gravity. You could only think of one response. "Of course I can. I'm a Specter! I'm using Phantom magic!"
You roughly recited your excuse from the other night's dream. Worked then, maybe it'll work now. If it did, you couldn't tell, for the boy just continued looking at you. A golden opportunity arose.
"What's the matter, Blondie? You act like you've seen a ghost!" A smile graced your lips. A feeling like a spark lit as you heard a short chuckle rumble in the Golden Guard's throat.
"Maybe I have!" His exclamation was soft, yet still made your pulse quicken. It was a wonder to think the boy you had resented for 16 years was here with you now, sharing a night with you, a night outside of dreams, laughing with you!
"Alright, now move, my leg is starting to numb." His request confused you. That is until you realized your knee was pinning his upper leg. Though embarrassed, you cracked another joke. "But I'm so comfortable! Do you even need legs anyways?"
"Off."
"Okay! Okay!"
You clambered back to the pillow mound. The boy no longer settled across from you, but rather set his singular cushion beneath the window. You could still hear the hissing rain tatter against the stones, every now and then a flash of light casting shining rays from the stained glass. With every passing moment your eyelids felt heavier and heavier. It was actually quite peaceful, but you needed to stay awake! Just because he was being non-hostile didn't mean he could be trusted. Maybe now was a good time.
"So..." You began. Your ear itched once again, attracting your hand to it. The question of why he saved you was also linked to why he wanted you all to himself. He needed you alive, just you alone. What made you so special?
"May I ask why you saved me? Like I said, it would have been easier to just let me go, but..." Your hand slithered to the back of your neck and rubbed it in a sheepish manner.
"But I didn't." He finished the sentence for you. You dipped your chin. His thumbs swirled around each other and his boots tapped against the floor.
"I don't... I can't tell you." Your face fell flat in disappointment.
"Why not?" You fell onto your stomach, closer to Blondie.
"It's...classified."
You raised a brow. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means I'm not supposed to tell-"
"I know what 'classified' means. I'm asking why I'm classified!" The thought made the words sour on your tongue. Why the fuck were you private information?
"I can't tell you, that's... also classified."
Your face fell to the floor. There you were, spending the night with the boy who haunted your dreams for years, the boy who tried to arrest you, bash your face in, and then saved your life! He was stuck with you and yet none of the questions you wanted answered were being answered!
Your head flopped down into the pile of plush. He won't tell me why he saved me, apparently all information on me is classified, and I can't really ask him about the dreams either... I don't even know how he'd take that! Frustration brewed and boiled inside of you.
"Soltare?" You jumped. You had been stuck in your own head once again, so much to the point that you forgot the blond's presence.
There he was, hood still slumped around his shoulders. As you gazed at his hair, a thought intruded in your mind. I wonder if it's soft... You imagined running an ungloved hand through strands of starlight. In a way, it almost resembled the dream which occurred the night after you two met. How you had reached past his hair to the back of his head and unclasped the mask from his face. The way he had guided your hand there. Bringing yourself back to the present, the idea was tempting. No, The tiny Jenner in your brain objected. There will be no hair stroking! I don't care if it's pretty! None! Tiny brain Jenner was right once again. It would be quite unprofessional (and frankly awkward) to do such a thing to the hair of the enemy!
"What is it, Blondie?" It seemed like your words had come out late once again, but it had been much shorter than you estimated. A yawn stretched his head. He began twiddling his thumbs once more.
"Can I ask you a question?" You nodded. His words started to become slanted and his voice took on even more raspe. "What's it like living outside of the castle?"
Blink. Blink. You'd never thought of that before. Living outside the castle was all you'd ever known! Probably all you ever would know at that. You smoothed your fingers over the grooves of your mask.
"Well... It's rough. That's the only way I can really describe it. Like there was this one where me and-" You cut yourself off. Tiny brain Jenner was about to scold you again, but you figured it out yourself. No sharing personal stories with him.
"Actually, just forget I said anything."
Another hand of lightning, another clap of thunder.
"What about you? What's life like in the palace?" Your turn now. He shrugged.
"Eh, it's arduous, but it's home. I mean, the castle is all I've ever known..." You blanked. All he had ever known? You listened further to his tale. "You just do your tasks everyday.The food is alright and the beds are fairly comfortable."
You waited. He didn't continue.
"And what else?" He turned to you.
"What else is there to say?"
The two of you just sat there for a few moments. You turned your head to the ceiling, the deity staring back at you. The weariness was starting to settle into your bones. Fatigued and fighting to stay awake, you hummed the tune of Ruby's music box. You could almost hear it twinkling along with you. When the second verse rolled around, a voice spoke softly over your notes.
"Do you ever have dreams?" What an appropriate question. Your answer came out in a bright hum.
"Told you about that earlier, didn't I?" You muttered. If anyone should know how much you dreamed, it should be him. Forest, libraries, castles, catacombs, caves, fields, meadows, clouds, anywhere and everywhere you had followed him along endless paths. Never caught, nothing gained. Now he's here, not quite caught, not quite free, and still nothing gained.
Well maybe that last part isn't quite true.
"I guess you did... Do you know anything about the meaning behind dreams?"
"Not for free, I don't."
In your long search to find Blondie's purpose, you had grown comfortable with interpreting dreams. Never your own, but you could read others' dreams like a book. It made you an extra snail every now and then, but you'd never been able to do what you sought out to do. He still went unexplained. Nothing fit with him. He was an outlier. A strange, unexplainable phenomenon that molded your mind to a strange, unexplainable shape.
"Why? You need something interpreted?" He didn't respond. You sat up and saw him huddled up by himself. Even though there was no facial expression to give it away, you could tell something was on his mind. His gaze met yours, his eyes dimly lit by the flames.
"I'll give you 10 snails to tell me, and 10 more to not tell anyone else."
"How about I charge you 50?"
"How about a night in the boiling rains?"
"You drive a hard bargain. 100. Take it or leave it."
Sigh.
"50 it is."
The blond dug his fingers into his pillow, possibly puncturing the thing. He scooted closer to you. You mirrored. His deep breath sent air that fluttering feathers on the ground.
"Tell me." He picked up one of the feathers he'd disturbed and examined it. Your body jolted awake at his next words. Lighting, brighter and louder than ever before shook the earth.

"What does it mean when someone chases you in your dreams?"