As Lovely As You (George Shelley Fanfic)

Chapter 32 - Panic Attack

A camera turned over to face me and Ella. I felt my cheeks burning and I didn’t know what to do with my hands. “It’s Ella and Laura backstage!” Caroline said, the camera did not move and I gulped. “What the fuck you’re suppose to do when you’re on live television for over 8 million people?!” 

Luckily, Ella knew what the fuck you should do on those times. She opened a big smile and waved her hand “Hi everyone!” she said. Of course Ella knew what to do, bitch please, she was an X factor contestant and one of the most charismatic people I had ever known. So this time, thanks god, I also managed to do the right thing.

I put the biggest smile on my face, took the deepest breath ever and started waving too, “Heeey!” I greeted at the camera. “Aren’t these ladies just adorable Caroline?” Olly laughed while the camera finally turned back to the hosts, “Indeed Mr.Murs, indeed” she agreed “Now you’ve all got a little peek from this not-so-much-mysterious-girl-anymore, plus a kind of answer from George about the rumors!” “And for now it’s Union J!” Olly finished the scene.

“And we’re off!” a man shouted. The boys said goodbye to the hosts and left the main studio, heading towards our direction. “Did this really happen?” I asked, my eyes stuck to the ground “Hum…yes?” Ella responded, “Laura I’m so sorry about that, I didn’t even know this could happen” George said “Oh…It’s alright” I responded with my head still down.

But it wasn’t. We still hadn’t talk, I had kissed him and Alex. I knew that I liked George, yet things weren’t figured out between us. It was all a mess. And when he said those words “We’re all close friends”. Friends. We were friends? Was that real? He didn’t like me anymore? Had I just ruined everything, again?

“No, it’s not alright” George replied “I should have never said that you came to the show” “Yeah, I agree with George. They shouldn’t have filmed you without your permission” Jaymi said. “It’s fine…” I responded looking into George’s brown eyes, gulping my sadness and faking a smile, “Is it? Really?” he asked staring me back, I could see he didn’t believe in a single word I said. 

“Yeah, sure” I looked away “I gotta go ok?” “Laura wait-” I heard them say, but I just ignored it, running out of the studio. I found the bathroom and locked myself in it. “Is this really happening?” “Has my life changed this much in just a month?” “Why George doesn’t like me anymore?” All those thoughts ran through my head while I breathed heavily, my back against the bathroom’s door.

“It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay.” I tried to calm myself down, my heart was pounding, I was desperate “You can do this. You can do this. You’ve been through worse things. You can deal with nasty websites, mean fans and heartbreaks from famous gorgeous singers” 

I closed my eyes and just sat there. Breathing in and out. The beating in my chest slowed down and I smiled. When I was younger I had many panic attacks, I was shy and afraid of so many things. But as I got older, they just didn’t happen anymore, I was still shy, yet, no longer afraid.

It was kind of nostalgic, feeling this scared and frightened, just like that little girl I used to be. But now I was stronger. I calmed myself down and was able to think clearly. “I can do this”.

My eyes we’re still close when my phone rang:

- Hello? - I picked up

- Laura, I’m so worried! Where are you? - Ella asked

- Hi Ella, I’m at the bathroom. I just had a panic attack, but it’s fine now.

- A panic attack?! What the hell? I’m going in there right now! - she hanged up

 I lifted off the ground and went to the sink. I threw some water at my face and heard the door opening. “Are you okay?” Ella asked coming in “And don’t lie to me, are you really okay?” “Yes” I smiled “I really am now” “I don’t understand what happened and I’m lost. But if you’re okay, I am too” Ella said hugging me “Thanks for the support Ella, I love you” I replied hugging her back “I love you too missy, now will you care to explain this situation?”

I told her all about my panic attacks of when I was a child. And how I felt when George said we were just friends. How did it hurt, the reason why I reacted that way. “It’s always boys!” Ella sighed “I guess it is” I agreed “But you know, they’re sick worried about you too” she said “They wanted to know where you were but I told them that you just needed a girl talk” “So then we just need Jaymi!” I laughed “I think they all headed back to the hotel now, but there’s still a car waiting for me, it can take us both” she replied. “Should we go home then?” I smiled “Yes” she grinned back.

When we left the bathroom at the X factor arena. I was feeling 39040312491284312750239 times better. Thanks god for Ella Henderson.

The car dropped us off at the hotel and I said goodbye to my famous talented singer friend. I needed some rest and so did she.

I opened my door’s room and found Amelia sleeping. Snoring like a baby. I threw my stuff at the ground and climbed to bed. I hugged the pillow and closed my eyes. The last thing I thought before I fell asleep was “Damn those high heels!” They made my feet hurt so bad. I was planning on not wearing them for a long time, but, oh boy, was I wrong.