As Lovely As You (George Shelley Fanfic)

Epilogue

The days were slow and boring.

Everything was the same and I found myself missing things that I didn’t even like.

I was missing the smell of coffee and cold mornings.

I was missing rain and having to buy a new umbrella every month.

I was missing wearing heels and going to meetings.

I was missing England.

But mostly, I was missing George.

Missing his face and his lips. His laugh and his smile. The way his eyes would crinkle when he’d giggle. The way he held me at night. The way I shivered when he brushed his thumbs on my hips. My hand in his. I missed everything.

But I was here and he was there.

He had his life and I had mine.

We had to move on.

It was hurting and I felt a pang in my chest almost everyday.

I knew it wouldn’t kill me.

I could live without him, but I didn’t want to.

I wanted him here, with me.

Or I wanted me there, with him.

I just wanted us.

When I came back it felt like everything was new.

It wasn’t.

Everything was the same.

I was the one who had changed.

The streets were still busy, traffic was heavy as ever and people were living their lives.

I was just being dramatic and stupid thinking that my whole world had ended. It just hurt. It felt hollow but it was still there.

Since X Factor UK was called X Factor UK, it was obvious that it wasn’t a big thing in Brazil. There were no paparazzi on the street, there weren’t any girls glaring at me or anyone asking for a picture. Once or twice someone did recognize me but that was about it.

School was the same, riding the bus was the same, going out was the same.

My heart wasn’t.

I remember distinctively the feeling I had, that wave of warmth I got when I was with George. It was like a ray of sunshine. It warmed my heart, it was it’s light.

It wasn’t it’s only light but god, it was a bright one.

I hadn’t talked to George in 3 months.

I wonder how many times did I pick up my phone just to put it down again.

I couldn’t talk to him, it would just make it worse for both of us and he knew it.

I deleted my twitter and put my instagram on private. I had to cut everything I could.

Still, everyday I looked at my messages.

Everyday I woke up thinking something could be from him.

I had hopes.They were cruel and small, but they were hopes.

And I didn’t want to let go of them.

It was the second Tuesday of February. Summer was ending but the weather was still nice. It didn’t rain often so I didn’t even bother to carry an umbrella. Oh, how different it was 3 months ago.

The bus wasn’t that full and I was glad to find an empty seat. The music flew through my headphones and I tried not to think about George’s voice.

"Mom?" I frowned when I arrived home "What are you doing here?"

"Hey, hi" my mother looked flustered.

"Why aren’t you at work?" I closed the door.

"Hum, I…I had to…something happened so I came back"

"Okay…what happened?" I asked.

"Someone…I was picking someone up" she responded "And I dropped them off and came back here, I’m tired…so yeah"

"Is everything alright?" something was definitely up.

"Yeah, yeah, don’t worry, Laura" mom said "I’m just gonna finish cooking dinner. There’s something for you in your room by the way"

"Something in my room?"

"Go have a look, yeah?" she smiled.

It was weird and I was suspicious but I didn’t question her any further, leaving the kitchen to kill my curiosity.

I opened the door to my room and that “something” was sitting on my bed.

"Hi, whale" he giggled, the lovely crinkle I missed right in front of my eyes.

His face and his lips. His laugh and his smile.

I could feel him holding me again.

A shiver shot right through my spine.

My hand in his.

That feeling

My heart was warm again.