Stand Strong

15 Year Old Me

It's been about 5 years since I started as a personal bodyguard. I finished my training for the mafia within a year after I started. My life changed drastically since I finished. I could control my emotions. Blacking wasn't as frequent anymore. I was able to control myself when it came to protecting the boss and his son.

More scars than ever showed up on my body with all the men and women I have killed. I always thought I would be able to keep at least some positive emotion in me. It has been hard even to believe in such a thing as happiness or love since killing became a routine. That was until I found Haru a year ago, which was the change I needed to keep me sane.

May stopped having any contact with me when he found me walking in with a little boy covered in blood. His parents had betrayed our trust so they were to be killed before they could do any more damage to this mafia. I found him asleep next to the bed on the floor. There was blood on him and I was afraid he would awake so I took him outside. I was the one who killed his parents but I couldn't let him become food for the others. So I took him in though I was only 14 at the time when I took him as my own.

Nana tried to take him but that day I looked at her with a serious face telling her that he was now my responsibility since I took the lives of his parents. He would be my responsibility nothing more. But now I know that I actually love him more than ever and I thought I would never feel any positive emotion again until now. From then on he became my son to love and look after in which he kept his birth name Haru. I sometimes think that when he gets older he will become an outstanding person and do good for the world.

It's been a hectic few years for me with training and raising the child. Haru is a very smart boy though he is only 4 at the moment. I have been teaching him basic education, for now, such as how to write or read and such since it would be easier for him in the future. He loves similar things as me and loves Korean food the most.

Sometimes though when he is asleep I would cry as I stared at him sleeping peacefully next to me. I feel so guilty when I know he could still be with his family. I wish he was able to live a normal life but it was all my fault for having to take all that from him. Sir told me that it was an order that had to be done to protect the family and the Mafia. I follow his orders as so but even May has never talked to me since. Maybe he sees me as a monster too.

Sometimes I would watch May from afar when he was out doing his lessons. Mostly with Sir at the shooting range practicing his aim. But other than that he would stay so far away from me and Haru. If he saw either of us he would run away from us as if we were some sort of disease.

I figured since he saw the boy with me I had taken him in despite killing his parents to train him to be like me which was not true. I will show Haru that he can be the greatest person of all time and help the world unlike me. He can have a normal life. I won't let him ever go through something horrible ever again. I would put my life for him to have a normal life.

So, as usual, today I took Haru with me to the training room where I do some workouts. I was doing some stretches before starting when I heard the door open to the front of the room. It was my trainer, Vaughn, who trained me during these last few years. He taught me how to protect this family and to control my emotions.

He waved at me and smiled, picking up Haru twirling him around in the air. Haru giggled while holding on to his arms for dear life. I smiled standing up knowing how short I was compared to him. He would always tease me about it saying I needed to drink more milk so I could get taller.

He put Haru down, chuckling as he watched the little one stumble towards me, still dizzy. "Why hello, there Mr. It has been a while hasn't it." He nods before speaking after me, "It sure has been some time, I see that little Haru is doing okay. And how have you been MiMi?" I glared at him once hearing the nickname he would call me. It started a month into training when he came up with it to piss me off.

He chuckled before hearing my reply, "I am doing okay I guess still a bully as ever huh. Haru has missed hanging out with you since you left to go train the Black Spade's guards. How is Gavriil anyway and his little sister what was her name again....ah Natasha?" He nods his head before sitting on a workout bench and lifting some weights. Never wanting to waste time in the gym.

"They're doing okay, for now, he still is so protective of her from what I see. And I, of course, missed little Haru and MiMi." Saying the last sentence in a baby voice which makes me glare at him again before sighing. Haru makes grabby hands towards me, making me put down the weights and pick him up. "Have you spoken to Dominic since you have been back?" I say softly as I run my fingers through Haru's hair. It's the only way I can hear about him without going near him.

He shakes his head, making me sigh and smooch my baby's cheeks causing him to giggle. "Mommy I hungy." I nod and start to grab my work out bag before it's lifted by Vaughn. I smile at him and thank him before we walk out into the hallway towards the kitchen. The hallways were always so big that even Haru and I still got lost sometimes.

Maddux was the main chef for today. About three years ago they got another cook to help out. Soon he became the main chef too so what they did was have Maddux and him switch every other week. Haru started pushing on me to put him down and as soon as I did he ran to Maddux yelling. "Max Max I hungy. May I please hab some food?"

Maddux smiled and nodded his head before asking Haru, "And what would little mister and miss want." I smiled before walking up to him and hugging him saying hello as did Vaughn. "Max, I want mommy's food." Maddux nodded and set him on the counter while he started to get ingredients and cook. We sat at the counter of one of the big islands as we all talked to each other.