Stand Strong

No Love Here

"You can't just hide it from him forever you know?" I looked at Vaughn and then sighed. I sat on a bench to rest for a minute and drink some water. I opened the water bottle I had with me and started to drink. I finished the bottle of water and sat back against the mirror the bench was against.

"I don't know who you are talking about. Who is him?" I stared at him to see him give me a smirk. I got up stretching a bit before thinking of checking on Haru before I went to May's room.

"You know perfectly well who I am talking about. I know you say you don't let your feelings get in the way. But I think you should at least stay true to yourself. The boss doesn't mean for you to be a complete robot, he just worries you won't be able to protect yourself."

I sigh and look at the gloves in my bag before placing my bottle in it. I zip it up and pick up the bag before stopping and looking at the ground, afraid to look Vaughn in the eyes. I know that once I do he would be able to see right through me.

"I can't let him know that I have feelings for him. He is the main thing I am protecting along with the people of this Mafia. I feel like I would be letting everyone down if I just start falling for some boy. Especially the boss' son, might I add."

I start to walk off to go check on Haru before being stopped. Vaughn grabbed my arm, "Just maybe think about it and let him in. I think maybe you should have a talk about this whole head of the main force's job. You are still allowed to be a human you know." He let me go and I walked off into the hallway.

He may be right but I still feel like I am going against what I was taught. Everyone always told me I was never allowed to show any emotions. Why is Vaughn telling me this kind of stuff these days? I was told by him just yesterday that I should start dressing better instead of always in my uniform. I guess that's why I started wearing more casual clothes these days.

I need to talk to the boss about this later maybe. I know one thing is for sure though. I must never let Dominic find out that I have any feelings for him. He is what this mafia is built under. I could never stand in the way of him having a successful life. And if he found out I am sure he would be upset. And rejection would make me weak.

After the day May tackled me I was talking to Roxy about how I would feel weird around him. She started asking me all these questions and then confirmed that I was in love. I was shocked and would push the idea of that down.

She wouldn't let it go since she was shipping me and him. Then later in the day, she made me realize I really was in love with him. I told her to swear never to tell anyone about this. These feelings have to be hidden and put away. I have a job to do as his main guard.

I have to be careful not to let it show when I walk in the library that the conversations with Vaughn are bothering me. I mean, after all, Vaughn doesn't know May would hate my way of thinking. I was ordered to make sure nothing gets in the way of the next in line. My feelings I have kept locked away would be a burden.

I stopped in front of the doors to the library breathing in deeply to calm myself. Just smile and ask how it is going with his lessons for the day.

I can't let Haru be worried about me right now. It seems since the first time he slept with me comfortably I could never hide my feelings from him. He always knew what was wrong before anyone could see it.