Love me like you do - Ariana grande and Big Sean (Seaniana)

pretending and an almost kiss

- Ariana's POV -

So since my blowout with Sean last night things have been rough. All night I've been on an off crying n sleeping, its been a hell. I really doubt getting trough rehearsal today will be an easy task, quite the opposite.

Getting ready I put my hair up in a tight bun, put on some yoga pants and a sports bra, pairing it all with some nike shoes. Im so exhausted I'm not even going to bother doing my makeup. Its only rehearsals after all.

After sitting down at the couch and eating the room service breakfast I got delivered earlier I grab my bag and walk downstairs and get in a mini van thats waiting for me. inconveniently enough for me scooter, Justin, mommy and Frankie all are in the same van and by the look on their faces they can tell something is wrong.

My mom switches seats to sit beside me to rub my back «sweetie whats wrong? Did you sleep bad? Did something happen with Sean?»

Shrugging my shoulders I say «both»

Justin looks sympaticly at me «I'm sorry if he was mad about me joining your tour. It wasn't my intention to step on anyones toes. If there is anything I can do to help the situation just let me know and ill see what I can do» for once Justin acted like a sane human being! He seems so care, like not fake care but really care.

I Smile weakly at him «than you Justin thats nice of you. But no he is just begin an ass its not your fault. Its his problem and he just needs to get over his ego. He is begin so mean and its just a mess I don't even know anymore. Its just exhausting» putting my head in my hands I let out a couple sobs before I pull myself together

Frankie wore a look of concern «Ariana, I like Sean, a lot. But if this is getting too much for you, if you fell like you cant handle this its not wrong to walk away you know that? If he is treating you bad you cant accept it. You gotta talk to him about it regardless of how hard that will be. If you want this to work out you gotta open up or you can walk away with your head held high.»

Taking in what Frankie where saying I get more and more worried maybe this isn't going to work? Maybe I'm not cut out for this?

Just as I'm sitting deep in thoughts I get a text, pulling up my phone I see its from Sean.

Sean - Ariana I'm so so sorry for last night. What I said I didn't mean it I was just stressed out even tho thats not an excuse to treat you badly could you please forgive me? I promise I will own it up to you. Could we just forget about the whole thing and move forward?

Ariana - its fine, I forgive you. Sure its already forgotten

Not wanting to deal with drama and fighting I'm going to pretend that everything is okay for now and maybe someday I will have convinced myself its okay. Cause I just cant lose him, I cant. So if I haft to lie, to act to make it work for now trough this hard part I will. Cause loosing him when I could do something to prevent it is like stabbing myself in the heart with a knife.

***

We are halfway trough rehearsal and I'm back in my dressing room on a little break when Justin walks in. «Hi Ari, is it okay if I call you Ari? Well anyhow Im just wondering if you're doing okay? You seem upset still. Have he called you yet? Texted?»

«You can call me Ari. He hasn't called but he texted. He expressed how sorry he is and asked if we could just forget it even happened.»

Justin looked weirdly at me «forget it? It doesn't work like that Ariana. Thats like putting a bandage on a bullet wound.»

«Yeah I know. Its just... we need to get by this time, the hard touring time. So acting fine is the only way I know how to keep him.»

He sits down besides me and says «i know, I've been there once myself with Selena once upon a time but it doesn't work in the long haul. You cant compromise yourself to make a relationship work not in that way when its affecting everything else, everything you love. I know you love Sean, thats obvious but there is other people out there Ariana. Maybe some of them would be better for you. Maybe there is someone out there, maybe someone you already know thats mr right for you. That will treat you right.»

«He usually treats me right, its just this once, it have never happened before and he knows its not acceptable to happen again. I love him so much I cant bare to lose him. Its just complicated right now but I hope, I need to hope, that at the end of the yellow brick road after all the bumps and bruises we will make it trough together.»

Patting me on the back he sighs «i do understand and get that Ariana. But you gotta think about whats best for you. Cause from my perspective it seems like you cry more than you smile and a relationship isn't supposed to have that effect on you. Its up to you obviously but I just want you to be aware of it»

«Thanks Justin, its really thoughtful of you. People always want to point you out to be this bad guy who only does wrong. But really you're not a bad guy»

«I am a bad guy. Its just... when I'm around you, I feel this need to rise above to show I can be a man that I can do better. I guess the whole Selena nightmare has dragged me so far down I was a wreck but you, you've always been a big help, a big supporter.»

As he was talking he started to look me straight in the eye moving closer and closer under he paused. We're so close I can feel his hot breath on my face its obvious he wants to kiss me, but quickly I snap out of the trance he had put me in

«Justin. I appreciate the talk but I'm still in a relationship. Cheating is not my thing and I love Sean. Okay. Im taken. Its not that I'm not attracted to you but I'm committed to Sean and I'm not going to change that anytime soon. Im sorry Justin but you haft to do this is inappropriate. Im sorry. Really sorry»

He stands up and his the back of my hand «stop apologizing. Its fine I get it. You're a good girl and don't want to go agaings your commitment. Believe me I get it. I just wish you would see what I see. And I see that he is no good for you, this is no good for you. And I hope you see it before he breaks your heart»

***

Its concert time and I'm about to go crazy, I'm just beyond nervous. And to make matters even worse I'm going insane with the whole thing with Sean and now with Justin practically almost kissing me and our whole talk its all so much. I just hope the show goes smooth so I don't haft to deal with miss functions too. Things can happen but we are all so well rehearsed and regardless its my loves out there, they're practically family.

As Im getting ready to head towards the lift that will take me up to the stage I get a text

Sean - good luck tonight, not that you will need it as you're simply amazing. I know we are going trough a hard time right now and I cant tell you enough how sorry I am but I just wanted to wish you good luck. This is a big moment for you and I really wish I could be there to support you trough this. Ill see you soon baby girl. I love you and I will always love you, never forget that.

This is one of the reasons I love him so much. Even tho we are practically in hell right now but are choosing to ignore talking about it he still is super supportive. Our relationship is predictable like that. Yes we have our ups and downs some more extreme than others but all in all we are there for one another 150%

Ariana - thanks I needed that. Dying to see you and I love you too.

Ive just got to suck it up. Every relationships have moments like these right? The fact that we aren't broken up is a good sign compared to my past relationships.

***

The show is over and it went good I guess. The crowd wherent exactly good but they wherent when I where here for «the listening sessions» either so its fine. But the show itself went by with not that many errors, some here 'n there but over all good. Well except that one part where I almost died during love me harder.

Im just ready to get on the buss and really think. I need to think about everything with Sean and what to think of this thing with Justin its all too much to handle.

_____________________-

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