It's been over 5 months now since Paxton has been gone
I finally managed to tell Chandler what happened , he didn't like the fact that I still loved Paxton , but he understood that it wouldn't be right to be rude about it so he tried his best to stay calm about .
Shay left for a trip over the summer she won't be back till tomorrow .
So I have no one to hang with
Everyday just gets harder , I can't forget what happened
I just keep rereading his text message and break down crying
I wish Paxton didn't leave me
I need him more than ever now
over thinking really does kill me though
I've decided to just get out of bed and go somewhere so I won't be such a depressed bum
I headed to the bathroom and took a quick shower , I got out and put my wet hair in a bun . I didn't even bother to wear make up , so I just headed to my closet and put on some black skinny jeans , a grey hoodie and my uggs
I got my phone & left for a walk
I was listening to music , and thinking at the same time
*Sigh* " I miss him "
All the cars were passing by really fast
I was thinking , maybe just maybe I could jump in front of a car & die
I just wanna fucking be with Paxton again
I was standing on the sidewalk . Waiting , for a car to past by so I could jump in front of it
As soon as I saw one , all I could think about was that its time to do this
Just before I could jump in front of the car..
Someone grabbed my arm .
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Lame ass chapter , sorry .
Updating again later . 😌
