Then Where Is Home?

Chapter 5

Tw for this chapter: Past suicide attempt, mentioned hallucinations, mentioned psych ward, blood and self destructive actions, slight violence (a slap), and meltdown (for the note only: abuse, homelessness and poor mental health)

Note: lmao sorry I haven't updated, I was being abused, and then I was kicked out of the apartment where I was being abused, and then I lost my job and my mental health is shit, but I'm trying to write more!

"If it's not like that then why can't I help you? Why can't you just stay here?" Ranboo asked and Tubbo didn't look at him.

"If I stay here I'm going to kill myself Ranboo." Tubbo said, and then he didn't say anything more. Ranboo sobbed for a few minutes, and other than Ranboo's sniffles, they were in silence. Tubbo didn't try to comfort Ranboo anymore, and Ranboo didn't know what to say.

After all that Tubbo ate dinner with Ranboo and then they both got into the car with their parents. They took Tubbo inside, got him registered and then he was off to the mental ward. This place didn't have visiting hours, but Tubbo was allowed his phone once a day for an hour, so he would be able to call.

After he was dropped off they went back home, Ranboo being silent the whole time. When they reached the house he mumbled something about going to the Watson's, to which his parents had no objections. So he grabbed his keys and went back outside to his truck.

He climbed in and for a moment he waited, then he realized he was waiting for Tubbo to hop into the other side of the car. But of course Tubbo wasn't going to be hopping in the car.

Ranboo stared forward at the steering wheel for a moment, and he wasn't sure what he was feeling or what he was even waiting for. He continued to sit there, staring at the steering wheel before he suddenly reacted.

One moment he was still and the next he was punching the steering wheel and dash board. Both of his fists were balled up and slamming again the car. He wasn't making any noise but there were tears running down his face.

He was supposed to help Tubbo. He was supposed to be there for him. He promised Tommy he would be there for Tubbo, but now Tubbo was in the mental ward for who knows how long. He was in the ward and Ranboo was still here.

Ranboo stopped slamming his hands against the car when his hands began to bleed. He sat back in his seat, breathing deeply and doing his best not to shake. He used his hands to push his hair back from his face, but ended up getting blood in his hair. He was about to start crying but before he could there was a face at his window.

Liam.

Ranboo was about to worry that he was also seeing people who weren't actually there, but Puffy was right behind him. He took a deep breath and rolled down the window.

"Ranboo." Liam said, smiling softly. Ranboo ignored him and looked at Puffy.

"Hi Ranboo, your mom said that we could come over, Liam wanted to talk to you and Tubbo." Puffy explained nicely and Ranboo nodded a bit before looking forward at the steering wheel again.

"Tubbo isn't here. He's not going to be here for a bit." Ranboo explained and out of the corner of his eye he saw Liam make a face of confusion. "He's in the psych ward." He explained and he saw both Liam and Puffy's face drop.

"Is it because of me?" Liam asked and for a moment Ranboo wondered if he should explain fully. He wondered if he should explain that seeing Liam again made Tubbo's hallucinations worse. He wondered if he should explain that the hallucinations made Tubbo try to kill himself in California. He wondered if he should explain that he suddenly wasn't good enough to help Tubbo.

"I dunno, maybe." Ranboo lied, still staring forward at the wheel. Liam backed up a bit, so Puffy stepped forward to talk to Ranboo.

"You don't have to talk to him if you don't want to sweetie. I can take him back to his home and you don't have to talk to him anytime soon. Whatever you're comfortable with is fine, you are not being forced to do anything you don't want to do." Puffy explained and Ranboo nodded, thankful for her. She was always so sweet to him.