Crimson Eyes {{Katsuki Bakugo X Reader}}

13

"what happened?"

His question rang out in my head. 

"What d-do you mea-"

"Cut the bullshit (y/n)," he said, looking over at me. He wore a serious face, and his eyes held so many feelings i couldn't even recognize them all. "What. the fuck. happened."

"i..." i tried to gather my thoughts and find a way to say everything. he scoffed in annoyance.

"So you find out i like you, make me think you like me too, i let you do things with me no one else has ever done, finally feel like i have you, and then you just disappear?!" he was getting angry. "I texted you EVERY DAY. I waited for you EVERY DAY. i even tried to visit you EVERY FUCKING DAY. do you know how much of an IDIOT i felt like? constantly being TURNED AWAY?!" I felt tears start to form in my eyes. "then heres the best part, i FINALLY get that fucking Deku Bastard to tell me what he knew, ONLY to fucking find out that youve changed schools due to the bullying?! But NO WORD TO ME?! WHAT. THE FUCK. DID. I DO." He was fuming at this point, all his emotions and anger coming out at once against me. I felt my chest starting to tighten up. "I FUCKING CARED SO MUCH ABOUT YOU, DAMNIT! DID YOU EVER CONSIDER THAT? HOW I FELT?! DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS TO NOT BELIEVE THE RUMORS OF YOU JUST TRYING TO USE ME?! I STILL DONT KNOW IF I BELIEVE THEM OR NOT. I DON'T WANT TO BUT FUCK IT (Y/N) PROVE THEM WRONG!!" tears were now pouring out of my eyes. I wanted to run away, but i know i needed to hear what he had been holding onto. "DONT GIVE ME THE FUCKING BULLSHIT ABOUT IT BEING YOUR ANXIETY EITHER. ITS NOT THAT! ITS THAT YOURE SELFISH AND ONLY THINK ABOUT YOUR OWN FEELINGS! YOU NEVER ONCE CONSIDERED OR EVEN ASKED ABOUT MINE IN THE SITUATION!" his words were cutting deep. Especially cause there was truth behind them. I was being selfish. I should have talked to him, even of it had turned out badly. And deep down, i knew it all along. I felt so much guilt and regret. I bit my quivering lip, trying to hold on to what bit of emotional control was left in me. "IF THEY WERE SAYING THINGS, IF THEY WERE HURTING YOU, YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME. I WOULD HAVE STOPPED THEM AND WE WOULD HAVE FIGURED IT OUT. bUT INSTEAD YOU RAN AWAY. YOU LEFT ME. IT HURT SO MUCH THEN AND IT STILL FUCKING DOES." he dropped his head again after he finished yelling at me. "did you ever even care...?" he asked in an almost broken tone. I felt my heart shatter. In trying to protect myself, I ended up hurting him. I really am utterly selfish.

"I didn't consider your feelings... and i was extremely selfish... you are right. And i have to live with the guilt everyday knowing i hurt you.. that i betrayed you... You Kacchan... the only one i ever cared about..." i started sobbing hard. I knew there was not point now in trying to keep my composure. I couldn't. Not after this. "I was scared of getting hurt... i was scared of what people would say... but most of all... I was scared youd think i wasn't good enough for you anymore..." I broke down and hugged my chest. It hurt. It hurt so much. All of this. But i knew i had to face it. I had to face Kacchan. I felt him scoot closer. 

"(y/n)... (y/n) look at me." He said in a softer tone. I tried to wipe my face some with my blazer's sleeve, but he gently grabbed my wrist. I turned my head and was instantly met by his gaze. Before I even realized what i was doing, i threw my arms around him, sobbing into his chest. 

"i'm so sorry Kacchan... Im just.... I'm just so sorry... I've ruined everything... I should have come to you.. I should have and i'm sorry! I'm just so so sorry!" He sat still for a minute, then slowly relaxed and patted my head.

"You dumb nerd, you're going to get my uniform wet." I looked up at him and he had a softer version of his usual smirk. I gave a sad, apologetic smile as i sat up, calming down some. I wiped the few tears i had left on my face away, the dropped my arms to my side. We sat in silence for a little, before he placed his hand on top of mine.

"what do we do now?" i asked quietly. He took a deep breath.

"i still care. But i need to trust you again."

"then, I'll earn that trust back. I'll do what i have to." I said with determination in my voice. I need to do this. If i truly care for Kacchan the way he cares for me, theres no other way. He gently squeezed my hand, looking up at the clouds.

"I know you will..." he said softly i almost didn't hear it. I smiled softly to myself, feeling better about things, and being happy to finally Have Kacchan back in my life. I looked up at the clouds with him and took a deep, peaceful sigh. I knew i had to put in the work, and i was ready for it. I was ready to get Kacchan's trust back.