Wait (Harry Styles)

n i n e t e e n

19

HARRY

My first instinct should've been to push her away.

But I couldn't, and I didn't.

Once her lips pressed against mine I cupped her face almost automatically. I immediately felt her tense up, but it quickly faded away as she kissed me even harder. It was like my body was hungry for her, as if it longed for her touch. Once her fingers found it's way to my hair I knew I was a goner.

Without a moment's hesitation my hands moved to her waist to pull her closer, my fingers held onto her, tight. My pulse and senses were racing, a new feeling of adrenaline surfaced. I forgot about everything else. The sounds from outside vanished, the haunting thoughts, and all of my guilt.

Her kiss numbed my ever-increasing pain, and I wanted more.

I was just about to lean forward to deepen the kiss before she pushed me away from her. We exchanged heavy breaths of air between us. I could tell she was pretty shaken up. She wasn't expecting for me to reciprocate in the kiss, and to be completely truthful, I wasn't expecting myself to do that either.

"You definitely do not kiss a stranger like that." That was all she said before pressing her hands against her face, concealing it entirely. I watched in complete silence, unsure of what I was going to say. She looked so small and beaten down, her hair was a tangled mess and I could see the slight tremors in her fingers. I silently cursed myself.

Crap, I should've thought of that before kissing her back. Good job, Harry.

I scrambled for an explanation, but decided against it almost immediately as I watched her. I've had enough of this. I just wanted to make my own decisions for once in my life, and right now, all I wanted was her. A week ago, I decided that she was too good for me. She didn't need someone like me, an experiment gone wrong ruining her life. She deserved to be with someone normal. But now, all I wanted to do was act selfish. I wanted to still her trembling fingers, console her, tell her that everything was going to be alright. Even if I had to lie to her. Anything to make her stay by my side.

"I lied."

Her shaky fingers slowly left her face, her brown eyes stared back at me. "What?"

I clasped both of my hands together and ran them through my hair, slowly. I told myself I would never tell her, but after what had just happened there was no way I was going to listen to my former self.

Before I could change my mind, I jumped into explaining things to her.

"I lied to you in the cafeteria, I never forgot about you."

I watched her face absorb in the new information. First she seemed nearly confused, then it turned to realization.

What was she thinking about right now?

Chewing on my bottom lip, I continued. "I had to pretend I didn't recognize you because they threatened that they would keep you locked up in that little room forever."

Her eyes bore into mine but I quickly averted them away. "It was the only option, I wanted to protect you."

I expected her to let out a sigh of relief and tell me that she understood, but instead her face twisted up, and her fists balled up at her side.

She began to yell at me. "You little piece of-!"

My hands reached out to grab hers, but she pulled away as if they would scorch her. "Wait, you have to listen-"