Severus Snape Oneshots

The Flip Phone

8:34pm

Severus Snape: How does one use this... Muggle technology?

Y/n: Professor, I already explained part of it to you. I told you I'd help you more tomorrow since it is Saturday.

Severus Snape: Understood. Thank you for the assistance so far.

Y/n: Ofc.

Severus Snape: What is 'Ofc'? Is that what you call a.. typo? The misspelling you said is called a 'typo'.

Y/n: Yes, a misspelling in text is called a typo. But the spelling was intentional. 'Ofc' is an acronym- it is short for "of course".

Severus Snape: I see..

Severus Snape: Ofc.

Severus Snape: Of course. Hey, I did use that correctly. Though I must admit that the improper grammar irks me a bit.

~Message Read~

|One minute later|

Y/n: ... Goodnight, Professor.

Severus Snape: Good night, Miss Y/L/N.

The next day

"There, that is how you press the buttons. I obviously don't need to explain why it's called a flip phone." You say, leaning over the man's shoulder.

He squints his eyes and nods his head. Maybe this wasn't the best birthday gift?

"Thank you, Miss Y/L/N. This technology is a bit confusing. I've never owned a flip phone. I've only ever heard of a landline or a rotary phone..." He trails off in thought.

He's heard of those phones?

Oh, is he a muggle??... How odd for a Slyther-

"I am a halfblood." He quietly says, looking up from the device.

He flicks it closed and stands up, setting it on the desk. You can't help but stare in silence, your lips parted ever so slightly.

He turns around and raises an eyebrow at you.

"O-Oh... interesting... I was just.. surprised." You say, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

He nods his head once and picks up the phone, putting it in the pocket of his robe.

"Well, I'll take that as my cue to leave... Goodbye, Professor!"

Later that night

Severus Snape readjusts his reading glasses that are balanced on his notes. The lamp next to him shines down on the yellowed pages of the book he his currently reading.

The peaceful day is soon interrupted when a loud sound suddenly blasts out. He jumps and nearly throws his book, looking to the left where the sound was coming from.

"What the bloody hell?" He mumbles.

On the side table with the lamp, is his flip phone buzzing and a sound plays through.

The instrumental introduction of the song called "The Season of the Witch" by Donovan fills the room.

Scoffing at the irony, he picks up the phone and flips it open. After another second of fiddling around with it, he eventually figures out how to answer the call.

"Hey professor! Just wanted to see if you knew how to pick up the phone." Your voice fills through the other end of the call.

"Miss Y/L/N, it is ten o'clock at night. Why the bloody hell would you choose now out of all time to test your theory?" The professor groans in annoyance.

"...Sorry." you quietly say, your voice trailing off.

"Good night, Miss Y/L/N." He sternly says into the phones.

"Night, Professor." You say, right before he hangs up.

Two days later

Severus Snape: You will not believe who just nearly killed all of their classmates during a potions lesson today..

Y/n: Weasley.

Severus Snape: Yes...

Severus Snape: I swear, that dunderhead could set water on fire.

Y/n: LMAO

Severus Snape: ?

Y/n: I just meant that that's super funny.

Severus Snape: What does it stand for?

Y/n:...

Severus Snape: ?...

Y/n: Laugh My Arse Off

Severus Snape: Language! Don't use such words around, texting or not. Including acronyms. Detention tomorrow, 6:00.

Y/n: Oh come onnnn! PROFESSOR!!!

Severus Snape: Do not yell at me, young lady!