Severus Snape Oneshots

Cabin Fever

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"When you said Voldy-nor was sending us on a mission, I didn't realize he meant a four-star cottage...." You state, looking around the modern cabin in content.

Snape grumbles under his breath before speaking up, "First of all, do not call him that.. Secondly, you two are not necessarily needed for this mission. I must keep lookout over Hogsmeade village to watch for unusual activity, then report back to the dark lord."

His response was stoic but underneath the many layers of neutrality, it was clear that he was already getting annoyed.

He then said something about how he'd take, and I quote.... 'observation duties'... during the night and some parts of the early morning. You and Draco were tasked... 'observation duties' during the day for four days.

So basically you got to stalk the students and customers of Hogsmeade like pervs for more than half a week.

Oh, I'm sorry, 'dutifully observe'.

"So we're not entirely useless?" You ask Snape.

He sighs. "For now."

A beat of silence passes by, but it was no difference for Draco. He hasn't said a fucking word since the three of you arrived

You thought he mustn't like you very much.. Hopefully in a 'I'm burdened with the presence of my little sibling' way and not a 'i can't believe I'm sharing a house with a psycho ' way.

"How many rooms are there?..." You tried to sound as unbothered as possible, a question clawing at the back of your mind.

As if knowing your concern, Severus immediately replies, "three".

Oh thank god.

Wait.. 

Draco and you make eye contact for the first time in two hours.

You two were thinking the exact same thing

In a blink, both of you dash to the stairwell.

"I'M CALLING FIRST DIBS!"

"OH NO YOU'RE NOT!"

"GET OUT OF MY WAY, DAMNIT"

You grab the back of Draco's suit jacket and pull him down.

Thinking you were free was a mistake as Draco instantly wrapped his hand around your ankle, preventing you from moving forward.

Half a second later, the two of you are scrambling on all fours, trying to climb up the steps while knocking into one another, making it impossible for the other one to make it all the way up the stairs.

"WILL YOU TWO JUST QUIT IT?!"

You'd never heard Snape shout that loud in all six years of your time with him.

You and Draco immediately halt, your hand  clutching Draco's jacket in a vice-like grip, his (oddly great looking and recently pedicured) nails digging into your shoulder, looking as though someone had just pressed the pause button during a brawl scene in Fight Club.