Severus Snape Oneshots

Blurbs: Dad Edition

Blurbs: Dad Edition

─•~❉᯽❉~•─

Y/n: "What kind of sick person pours in the cereal after milk??"

S: *narrows eyes*

S: "I've always done it like such. I'm surprised you didn't take after me. Ever considered that you're the 'sick' person?"

Y/n: "No. Because I'm not."

─•~❉᯽❉~•─

S: "Minnie, stop giving presents to my child after they've been disciplined."

M: "They stood up to you. Of course they deserve presents!"

S: "Disobedience is not something to be praised."

M, *muttering lowly* : "It is if they're your kid."

S: "What the hell does that mean?"

M: "Not all children have the courage to stand up to you."

*Severus slowly blinks as he looks off to the side, before redirecting his gaze to the woman*

*Severus hums in agreement*

Y/n, sounding far away: "Does that mean I can come out of my room now???"

S, whipping his head to the direction of
Y/n's voice: "Absolutely not!"

─•~❉᯽❉~•─

Y/n: "Dad, can we please have lunch at the Flaming Dragon?"

S: "No, we have food at home."

Y/n: *puppy eyes*

S: *looks away with a sneer*

S: "Fine, but only because it's closer than home."

─•~❉᯽❉~•─

Y/n: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

S: "Not this again.."

Y/n: "Nope, try again."

*Severus, regretting his life*: "Why?"

Y/n: "To get to the other side!"

S: "...."

S: "Do you even get the 'joke' yourself?"

Y/n: "..."

S: "I have a joke for you."

Y/n: "Oh yeah?"

*Severus nods*

S: "Why did the child get sent to their room?"

Y/n: "Why?"

S: "Because they were being ANNOYING- now go away."