Severus Snape Oneshots

the Portrait

Your professor continues to mutter under his breath, judging your every move. You finally have had enough of it and lower the book from your face, slamming it shut.

"Will you please shut the hell up??!!" You hiss, rubbing your temples.

He glares at you with a sigh before closing his mouth. A moment of silence passes by and you lift your book up again.

"That carpet does not match those curtains." He criticizes.

"Oh, for the love of- when the hell did you become an interior designer?" You whine, throwing the book on your coffee table.

"I should've left you at Hogwarts. Maybe I'll hide your portrait in Moaning Myrtle's stall." You say, threatening him with a roll of your eyes.

The man scoffs at you through his portrait, looking down at you from an angle to show his displeasure.

"You wouldn't dare." He lowly says, narrowing his eyes.

"Watch me." You smirk.

You stand up from the couch and begin to walk over to his place on the wall.

"Actually.. I have a better place in mind."

~

Two days later

"Harry! There's a package for you!" Ginny Weasley shouts into the house, looking over her shoulder.

Harry Potter walks past his girlfriend and leans down to pick up the large brown box on the front steps.

He double checks the address and the name on the box, unsure of why he had gotten a package.

Ginny follows Harry and closes the door behind them, before disappearing into the house.

Harry sets it on the kitchen counter and cuts the box open, undoing the cardboard flaps.

It seems as though there were three boxes out inside of one another. Whatever it is must be fragile or tiny?

What looks to be the final box, a small note is taped to the top of it.

'I don't want him anymore. No refunds.'

Is all it reads.

The young man furrows his eyebrows in confusion before opening the last box.

"Finally, light! Stupid gi- Potter."

Harry tilts his head and chuckles with a sigh, knowing who it was from.

"Why, hello, Professor Snape!" Harry smirks