Marry The Game

Sleep at Night

"He ain't shit. i'm so sick of his dumbass!" I shouted before taking another sip of wine. My leg shook violently as I did so and Neesha sighed.

"You not gone say nothing?" I shot and she shrugged.

"What else is there left to say? ... Look I think the petty shit is unnecessary too, but you ain't have to respond. That's some real messy, love and hip hop shit. Ya'll better than that. Especially you." she finished.

"Especially me?! He started it! I stand up for my self publicly for once and i'm the bad guy?"

"You not gone want to hear this Kam, and i'm not saying he's right, but he called you on your shit and you can't be mad at that. You know who you're dealing with and what that video looked like."

"So because I ever had dealings with this nigga I can never shake my ass again?" I started and she put a hand up.

"That's not what i'm saying please don't put words in my mouth. I mean you and me know it's a sensitive time, you literally been broken up less than 2 months, you go on your first girls trip post Chramiyah gate and you shaking your ass on a nigga during truth or dare and don't expect no response?... Chris ain't no sucka man you knew you'd get a rise." She spoke and for the first time I started to consider his perspective.

"...No man that says they respect me the way Chris say he do would co-sign the things he did by liking those comments .. look at this! @CBmademedoitX "She fuck anything over 6 foot with a rolex huh?" oh, oh, look @mirageatia "Why she acting thirsty on the gram, she already robbed MBJ in the divorce and got 2 kids by breezy, she don't need the clout?", @TheeStacyian "I know breezy to blame for this mess. I don't know what he did, but he got sis gagging!" Why the fuck would he like that shit? He knew it'd hurt me." I finished the rant and before neesha could speak my phone rang... it was Reggie.

"Boy you gone call me every hour?" I joked answering and watched neesha roll her eyes.

"On the hour. What you doing? I hope i'm not interrupting." He replied and I chuckled. He had nothing to say.

"I'm just catching up with my girl. I'll call you tonight is that okay?" I asked and saw Neesha roll her eyes again.

"Alright bet. Call me..." he dragged and I laughed.

"Get off the phone!" i shouted before he cut.

"What?" I snapped slightly and neesha shook her head.

"See this. This is exactly what i'm talking about. You entertaining the same man you promised Chris he didn't need to worry about and you be confused when he start wildin. Man Kam that's crazy."

"Hold up I know you not judging me? At least I waited till I wasn't in a relationship to entertain anything with him, you ain't have no excuse." I threw and she squinted.

"Bitch, no you didn't. You really gone throw my shit in my face while i'm trying to give you advise?"

"You aren't advising me, what you're doing is judging me."

"Just because you don't agree with me doesn't mean it's judgement. Okay so I stepped out on Mijo, but I never kept it from him, nor did i play in his face or ever come at him for how he chose to deal with it. When you love somebody and they love you, and you hurt em, you don't get to dictate how they process it. And you're just plain out of line for trying to drag me down with you." She said never raising her voice, Neesha wasn't the same Neesha I once knew.

"Look, I'm sorry I should've never brought that up. You've been such a great friend to me and never judged me, I just felt like you were coming for me."

"I'm not. Look, I know how you get with Chris when you start feeling someone new, especially when ya'll aren't on good terms. You did it with Michael, Bryshea and you're clearly doing it with this new nigga you claim to just be friends with. It's not gone work. If you really really want to move on and you and Chris are really a closed chapter then be a woman about your shit and be upfront with him. He won't hold you back, he just don't want to be disrespected again." She finished and by now I was boarder line in tears. 

Maybe I am the problem.

"You deserve happiness, fall in love, date, fuck, do it. Just don't forget who has always picked up the pieces and who will always be there to pick them up if shit goes left, while you're smelling the roses." I wasn't sure exactly what she meant, but i got it.

"I really am not doing anything with Reggie."

"Okay girl, whatever helps you sleep at night." she said with both hands up in surrender.

-

I sat home alone after Neesha had left and a lot fitted to roam my mind. I felt like Chris and I's conversation after the club debacle that night was a line deep enough in the sand to officially cut all romantic ties, but talking to Neesha made me think she might've known something I didn't.

I wanted to call Chris but I didn't want to give him the opportunity to manipulate the situation and make a feel apologetic about anything. He was wrong right now and I was standing on that.

I was alone tonight while the kids stayed with Mama Joyce for the night. I needed some completely me time.

I sat looking in my phone at old pictures and some how ended up in my snapchat memories, i didn't use the app much anymore but it was always a good place to go to for memories.

"Oh yea, Candi got the Bay out tonight." I sighed looking over the snap memory from 7 years before and my stomach literally turned seeing Blaze in the video... Everything was straight forward back then.

The more i watched through the snaps the sadder i got. I still couldn't believe how things ended with that situation.

It had been so long since i'd seen his face or head his voice that i had to rewatch a few times, inspecting his features, tattoos, bravado. He was good when he wanted to be, his problem was greed.

"I'm at the door." Reggie spoke into the phone and I tip toed down the stairs to let him in. We planned to watch movies in my home cinema tonight.

"I got Ice cream and chips."

"My favourite combo, how'd you know?" I quizzed as we made our way to the theatre and he snickered.

"It's a lot of things I picked up about you." He said once we'd gotten comfy in the lounge chairs and I smiled.

"It's hot as hell, imma take this off" he said pulling his jumper off, I don't know what possessed him to put it on in the first place.

"I never noticed this tattoo... I said and instinctively rubbed my hand over his inner arm tat. For a second his eyes squinted before he softened them again.

"Oh yeah, i've had it forever." he answered quickly and before I knew it we were almost an hour into the movie and he's fallen asleep.

I sunk further in the seat and rested my head on the arm of the it and my view was Reggie's back.

I found myself looking over the tattoo again and for some strange reason my instinct lead me back to the snap chat memories with Blaze and when I squinted almost woke reggie up with my gasp

There it was on Blaze's inner arm as he tensed his muscles in the video.... the same exact tattoo Reggie had, in the same spot.

WTF?