Where the Skies are Blue

Chapter Twenty-One:

I laugh and swat Hunter's hand away as he continuously tries to grab my butt as we make our way into the restaurant. "Control yourself." I swat him away again just as he grabs me from behind, wrapping his arms around me as we hobble into the restaurant.

The hostess leads us to our booth, and he climbs in on the same side as me. I scrunch my nose. "Oh, no. Are we turning into one of those couples?"

He grabs my hand and kisses the top of it sweetly. "You mean the best kind?" He pulls the menu closer to him. "My parents want to meet you, by the way."

My eyes widen. "Really?"

"Yeah, unfortunately." He grumbles. "They keep pestering me about it."

"Oh, you don't think I'll win them over with my amazing wit?"

His face remains serious as he peers down at the menu. "I think the only thing that would win them over is if you showed up with a million dollars and a long list of accomplishments."

"Great, so you think they'll hate me?"

"Honestly, yeah."

I'm taken aback by his honesty. "Because I'm not rich and successful at seventeen?"

He's done with the menu and slides it away from him before turning towards me. "Auden, they hate everyone."

"Except rich and successful seventeen-year-olds, apparently."

A frown forms on his face. "They especially won't like your sarcasm."

"Well, maybe I shouldn't meet them then. Why do I even need to? It's not like we're getting married. It sounds like a bad idea."

"You have to. They won't let it go until you do."

"Fantastic. Super excited. Can't wait to be told how unworthy I am of their son."

The waiter comes over thankfully and we give him our orders before falling into a silence at the table. Hunter clears his throat. "It'll be fine. I promise." He leans over and kisses me quickly. "We'll talk about it more when it gets closer. Anyways, how do you feel about going to a pumpkin patch tomorrow?"

My eyes spark, my body sits up. "I've never been to one."

"You're like a baby being introduced to the world for the first time." He grins at me. "The most basic things excite you."

"Maybe we can make it a double date with Faran and Jacob?"

He makes a face. "Maybe."

My eyebrows bunch together. "Why?"

"They're still warming up to you, so we'll see."

This makes my body deflate. They are? I thought we were friends finally. I've been talking to them more and I feel like I'm finally getting somewhere with Wednesday. She doesn't look at me anymore like I'm a zoo animal. We talk briefly in our class together. I thought things are good with all of us. Now Hunter's words are putting seeds of doubt in my mind, and I'm starting to feel bad about myself. They don't like me. Of course they don't.

"They don't like me?"

He takes a sip of his water, then gives me a bored expression like he'd rather talk about anything else. "I thought you knew this. Isn't it kind of obvious?"

My throat feels tight. Why is this hurting my feelings so badly? It's like he just struck me in the chest. "No, I thought...I mean, I thought they liked me now. I thought..." My eyes shift to the table as I slump further down in the booth. "I just thought we were friends."

"Well, they're my friends." He tells me.

"I know, but I'm your girlfriend, I want them to like me. Why don't they like me?"

"Jesus, Auden, why do you care so much?" He scoffs and places his elbows on the table and looks my way. He must see the disappointment on my face because he lets out a sigh. "Maybe stop with the jokes and sarcasm all the time. You can be a bit much. Tone it down. Just try to be more casual. Sometimes the things you say makes people cringe."

The air feels sucked out of me, but I try to hide it. I try to hide how much his words hurt me. They feel like a massive punch to the gut. I force a stiff smile and nod my head slowly. They don't like me because I'm cringe and annoying and obnoxious. I bite down on my bottom lip. I'm going to obsess over his words and most likely never forget them. Now, everything I say, I'm going to second guess myself. He's not wrong. Every time I speak, I cringe myself. Most of the time, I wish I had never spoken at all.

I realize Hunter is just being honest, and I appreciate his honesty, even if it really hurts to hear.

Hunter wraps his arms around me, pulling me into him. "Hey, you've got me. They'll come around eventually." He kisses the top of my head.

We fall into mindless conversation after that. I'm suddenly not very hungry anymore. When the food comes, it's hard for me to swallow it down. I feel sick in a way that is hard to explain. My throat feels dry. I talk to Hunter, but I don't actually know what we're talking about. It's like a program in my head is choosing the responses for me as I make myself absolutely mad over what he told me. Now I'm feeling horrible about myself. I know he didn't tell me that to make me feel so awful. I can't help it.

I thought I made friends. I was wrong.

People don't like me, regardless of where I go or what I do. What is it about me? Where do I fit in? Because it doesn't seem like I belong anywhere. I'm unable to relate to anyone. I struggle to connect with people. Much less engage in normal conversation.

Being with Hunter has already helped me open up in a lot of ways and has helped me step out of my comfort zone. I'm trying to break away from the girl I once was in Arizona, and he's helping me do that. It gives me hope that maybe eventually I'll get better at making friends and not being so awkward in social gatherings.

I want to be like Hunter. So graceful and effortless. How easy it is for him to make friends. To stride right up to a group of people and strike up a conversation. How he walks through town and demands the attention of everyone. People greet him with handshakes and smiles, and warm hellos. They know him and they want to be around him. This whole town is a set of planets orbiting around him.

After we finish eating, I'm feeling so upset that I want nothing more than to try to silence my thoughts, so I start to unbutton his pants while he's driving, and he shoots me an excited look as I pull down the zipper. Leaning my mouth down on him, I try to focus on him.

Ever since I forgave him, things have been great. We've very quickly gone back to how things were, almost as if it never happened. Neither of us brought it up again. I'm back to being happy, and that's all that matters. And right now, I work to make him happy as well.