Where the Skies are Blue

Chapter Thirty-Five:

Hunter looks over at me as we drive silently to school together. My body turned towards the window. The radio playing silently. I wrap my arms around my chest. I'm so hurt by him, by everything and everyone. I can barely bring myself to look at him.

I'm trying to contain my emotions. The last thing I want is to anger him, resulting in him lashing out at me. There's no way to approach the subject without it turning badly. I hate how scared I am. That I'm too scared to speak up or say anything.

"Why are you acting weird?" Hunter asks me, and he shuts the radio off.

Silence stretches between us. "I'm not."

"Yes. You are." He places a hand on my knee, and it makes me jump. "For fucks sake, Auden, I'm not going to hit you."

My body is tense. My jaw so tight it hurts.

"What's going on?" He pushes.

"Nothing. I'm tired."

"I'm not angry with you anymore." He tells me. "I forgive you for accusing me of cheating."

My jaw tightens some more, making a popping sound. Is my silence making him paranoid? Is he constantly fearful of me finding out? I almost like knowing he is a little scared. On edge. For once, it's not just me. For once, I hold a little power. "Okay." I say shortly.

He pulls his hand away from my knee sharply, making me jump again. He lets out a frustrated breath. "Whatever. I tried."

When we get to school, I remain quiet by his side. Watching closely at the interactions. At the secret glances Hunter and Raven exchange that I hadn't noticed before. How she subtly tries to throw flirtatious comments his way. I look at Jacob and Dawson and imagine them laughing at me behind my back. Talking about how pathetic and stupid I am. I don't blame them, they aren't wrong.

***

Hunter flips on his TV in his room before plopping down on the edge of his bed as I stand off to the side. "Are you just going to stand there awkwardly all night?" He asks me with a bored tone before settling on a movie and tossing the remote onto the bed.

He angles his body more toward me. I pull at the sleeves of my sweater. All I really wanted to do tonight was sleep and hide in my room, but Hunter insisted on us spending time together, and I know how he gets when plans fall through. So, I agreed to come over.

Images of him and Raven hooking up plague my mind. Making me ill all over again. The two of them kissing, touching each other. Continuing to do it behind my back. Making me a complete fucking joke. I feel disgusted.

My arms fold tightly across my chest as I remain standing off in the corner of his room. I'm trying to find the courage to say something. While also analyzing how exactly I want to say it.

Say something. Say something now. Before I lose the courage.

Hunter is peering at me with this irritated expression.

My gate is closing. I need to say something before I never do. Before I convince myself I'm just being dramatic. "Hunter," I say quickly. His eyebrows lift as he waits for me to say what I want to say. "Can you please just be honest with me." My mouth feels incredibly dry.

He looks at me like I'm a complete moron. "Uh, about what?" He rolls his eyes.

Say it. Get it out.

I'm so scared, so nervous, that my body is beginning to shake. My eyes fall to the floor. "Did you cheat on me?"

A breathless laugh escapes his throat. "Are you still hung up on the fucking question Jacob asked? Jesus, Auden, it was a question. Stop reading into it."