Sailing With Destiny

Decisions, Decisions

I stirred the cocktail in front of me while lost in thought. Life seemed to have been going well, I was happy for what felt like the first time but everything very quickly took a one-eighty and turned upside down. Mitchell made me happier than anyone and our relationship was my safe place but lately, it felt like we lived in a house of cards and things rapidly fell apart. 

After our fight, Mitchell and I didn't see each other all week. Our time apart gave me space to think and realize where I went wrong. There was no doubt in my mind that I loved Mitchell but I was also terrified of losing Leo. Both men were important to me in different ways. I knew I unintentionally neglected Mitchell and sometimes expected too much from him. However, my fear of not being there for Leo the way I wasn't for Mom in her last days overpowered any of my other feelings. 

Leo had more bad days than good and sometimes he looked like he was ready to give up. My anxiety was at its worst and I struggled to function with normal daily tasks. I was close to taking something to keep calm but I got up every morning and took on the challenge of just going about life as normally as I could. 

After a week, my heart raced when my phone rang and Mitchell's name flashed on the screen. I missed him and the fear that I'd lost him kept me awake at night. He called to invite me out to dinner and I was happy that he was finally ready to talk but disappointment set in when he mentioned it was to celebrate Kelsey's birthday. 

I needed to talk to Mitchell alone and spend time with him but pushed aside my needs, plastered on a smile, and got ready to celebrate his friend's night. Kelsey reached out after Mitchell must've told her I found out about their almost kiss and apologized. I felt bad for doubting her intentions for even a second when, despite her woes, she was nothing but a supportive friend to Mitchell. 

I got home a little earlier from the hospital, showered, and dressed for dinner. I thought I'd be late but it seemed I was early – neither Mitchell nor Kelsey had arrived as yet. After a long week, I spoiled myself with a cocktail and something told me I needed a drink before I saw Mitchell. 

"Trust me to be late to my birthday celebration," Kelsey arrived just as I finished my cocktail. 

She appeared to have just gotten off work but looked elegant and pretty as always. I stood, greeted her with a small hug, and handed her the little gift I'd gotten at the last minute. 

"You shouldn't have." Kelsey opened the bracelet I'd picked up for her. "It's lovely, thank you."

"Mitch didn't leave work with you?" I asked as Kelsey gestured for our table waiter.

"I haven't seen Mitch all day," Kelsey replied. "He's been stuck in that office of his. I tried to meet him for lunch but he didn't even respond to my text."

It irked me a little that Mitchell spoke more to Kelsey in the last week than with me. I knew he was upset but putting distance between us would've only made us grow even further apart. I accepted my role in the fight but ignoring and not wanting to see me only made the situation worse. 

I nodded and ordered another cocktail with Kelsey. 

"Are you okay?" Kelsey asked after a long moment. 

I nodded with a small smile. "Yeah."

Kelsey twiddled her thumbs and awkwardly shifted in her seat. "Mitch had a bit too much to drink at Owen's party and the reunion and while under the influence, he let off some steam."

"About me?"

"It's not like that," Kelsey quickly corrected herself. "He misses you, Mila, more than you know. He was grumpy and a stuck-up arse all weekend. The only time he loosened up was when the alcohol kicked into his system."