Living with One Direction (Hariana)

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Ariana's POV

June 2010

"Ariana Grande?" I heard someone from the studio call my name. It's my first time auditioning for the X Factor and to be honest, I'm a little bit nervous since I have never sang in front of anyone before, well in front of my family I have, but never in front of others. Well, here goes nothing.

I could hear my heart beating against my chest as I walked towards the stage manager with shaky legs. I made it without collapsing on the floor like a newborn baby. The guy who's in front of me, who happens to be named Andy, told me to stop walk towards the side of the main stage of the studio once my name was called.

I could feel my heart pounding inside my chest as I was worried that all of the United Kingdom would heart the heavy thudding of my heartbeat. I was definitely scared that my chest would somehow explode and I would evaporate from how hard my heart was beating right now. My mind was running crazy and I already felt a bit of bile rising up to the back of my throat. I quickly swallowed all of my fears down and probably also the little bit of puke that was wanting to find a way to come out of my body. I did try my best to ignore the little wobble in my step as I walked and the dizziness in my head that was already making me feel like I have already downed a couple of margaritas.

My mind was already running thousands of miles per minute. One blackout, two puke disasters and loads of panic attacks later, my nerves are still high. I have never been so nervous before in my life. There was so many ways that everything could go wrong in my audition in the moment that I stepped onto the stage, and towards the three judges who are going to tell me whether or not I have made it to the next round of the singing competition show. First of all, I of course wasn't the most calm and collected person around, the chances of me tripping onstage on my own two feet and falling on my face onstage were high in my will. That's why every two minutes I would make sure that I had my laces tied on my shoes and tied together tightly. Second, anything could happen during my audition. Not to mention that my throat was scratchy considering I had already thrown up two times before arriving and I made sure to drink water every minute to get my voice back in its healthy environment.

And on top of that, I was scared of my song choice. I decided to sing a song I had wrote a year ago. I obviously didn't think much about it, everyone at my school liked it. But now that I think about it, what if everyone else, including Simon Cowell doesn't like it?

And what if he decides to stop me in the middle of me singing? That would be embarrassing for me.

I was now standing about five feet away from the back of the stage in London, ready to go out onto the stage and sing a song I wrote when I was fourteen years old in front of Simon Cowell, Cheryl Cole and Louis Walsh. I had arrived at the venue at around 7 a.m. to avoid the traffic, but I had instantly found out how wrong I was when i thought I would be able to get here early- considering it was almost 3 p.m.

Besides wasting time in the dressing room, rehearsing or in the bathroom, throwing up or panicking while my best friend Alexa would try to tranquilize me (she wouldn't even try, even if she could), she had asked me to do a short video for the camera by the producers of the show. I had only already known a few of the contestants that would get a chance to do this and Alexa had only asked me a couple of questions, mostly the questions being about myself. I had only had to recite a little paragraph about myself which might get on television or my audition is chosen to go on air.

"Hi, I'm Ariana and I'm from Brighton," I had started saying as I sat in an uncomfortable lobby chair in the arena, a crew of cameramen and the host were around me. "I'm currently sixteen and my family and I moved to the UK when I was ten years old." I cringed a little bit at the way that my voice sounded in my mind, I bet that I sounded stupid for a reality show. Then the host, who's name is Dermot had asked me why I was here at the X-Factor, making me think for a moment before answering the question. "I was given the opportunity to audition for the X-Factor by my school actually, as a reward for a band competition winning."