WangXian Forever Book 8

Chapter 119 Babysitting

Lan Zhan was meditating while Wei Ying had dragged his blanket over and decided to use Lan Zhan’s thigh as his pillow. Lan Zhan did not mind it at all, preferring to have him close by.

There was a quiet but frantic knocking on the door and Lan Zhan did not want to get up, so he called out enough so that his voice would carry but not loud enough to wake up his beloved.

XiChen opened the door with a sleepy Li Li in his arms.

"Didi...sorry to disturb you...but would you mind looking after Li Li for a little while? Jiang Cheng...." That's all he had to say for Lan Zhan to open his arms and have a toddler deposited there.

Li Li went straight back to sleep as soon as she knew it was Lan Zhan who held her.

"You're so good with her..." XiChen said.

He would have said more but a loud crashing noise from behind him, followed by even louder whooping calls had XiChen smiling apologetically and leaving, closing the door behind him.

Lan Zhan enjoyed the presence of the soft, warm baby in his lap. She smelled of powder and jasmine and that clean fresh smell that all babies possessed, like a magical charm.

Her soft baby curls rested against his cheek and he was reminded of SiZhui when he was little, merely four years old when Lan Zhan had found him hiding in that hollow tree trunk.

He might have saved A-Yuan...but in truth, A-Yuan had saved him too.

He felt the gaze of another and saw sparkling, mischievous silver eyes staring back at him.

Wei Ying pressed a kiss on his stomach and returned to watching Lan Zhan with the baby.

"Good morning." Lan Zhan whispered.

"It is a good morning....my love." Wei Ying agreed, smiling at the picture they made.

"You're really good with kids." Wei Ying whispered back, his eyes soft and impossibly fond.

The familiar and beloved pink tinge was back and Wei Ying sat up then, holding his cooler hands on them, both ears.

"I love that about you." He commented. "SiZhui...A-Yuan...when you told me about him..." Wei Ying swallowed hard, but no matter how much he tried, he couldn’t speak. He settled for hold Lan Zhan’s free hand to his own cheek.

Lan Zhan manoeuvred him singlehandedly into the other half of his lap so he could hold both precious people close.

"Not as good as Wei Ying." Lan Zhan offered sincerely.

Maybe it was time to share more of that period in their lives when Wei Ying had been absent.

So Lan Zhan decided to try.

"For three years...he was my constant companion. Xiongzhang would come by now and then...but SiZhui stayed with me. We grew to understand each other with few words and more gestures. The fever made him forget...many things...but sometimes I wonder if he had not remembered all by himself?" Lan Zhan could feel his neck getting wetter.

"He would not have made it if it hadn't been for you...my love."

"He was not meant to leave us." Lan Zhan insisted, firmly. He was rubbing Wei Ying’s back, trying to comfort him. "But, even unknowingly, Wei Ying was with us."

"How?"

"Every time I had to explain something to our son, or show him something which you excelled in, I remembered Wei Ying...how Wei Ying would have done it if he were here. You helped me to raise our son. However briefly I saw how you were with him...in Burial Mounds..." all the while his voice, deep and warm and comforting, gently caressed his listener.

The soft sounds of their breathing, mixed with the strong steady heart beating under his ear soothed Wei Ying no end.

Lan Zhan rarely if ever, talked about that dark time...when one was away from the other. Regret burned fierce and bright in both their hearts for the time that had passed away, for things left unsaid.

"Did you ever think about having kids?" Wei Ying asked Lan Zhan.

"Not until Burial Mounds. That day...when I saw Wei Ying with A-Yuan...that was when my eyes were open to the possibility." Lan Zhan admitted.

The truth was far stronger in his mind.

He had seen Wei Ying carrying A-Yuan and Lan Zhan...wanted that. More than anything else.

To have Wei Ying...to have a family with Wei Ying...it was a golden dream.

To be able to hold them, this fragile little family, so preciously sticking together because at the time, they had no one else.

Lan Zhan had wanted everything with Wei Ying.

That was his simple truth.

"What about you?" Lan Zhan was asking him.

"That day...in Yiling. When A-Yuan found you...my first thoughts were that Lan Zhan would make a great dad. But then you never smiled at him and he started crying." Wei Ying giggled then, wiping his face with the corner of the blanket. "Not gonna lie, I was jealous at first. I thought....some pretty girl was going to come and take you away from me...but I wished all the happiness in the world to be laid at your feet."

"Only Wei Ying." Lan Zhan promised, kissing the side of his head.

"I had no definition of what I felt for you, my love. In that first life...we were so young...how could we say what we were feeling? When we did not know ourselves?"

"Mn." Lan Zhan gazed at him with a sincere love, refined and concentrated. "I knew what I felt ... but later. And then...I was in denial." He admitted it.

"Denial?" Wei Ying held his breath, hoping the next words coming out from Lan Zhan’s lips would at the very least, be kind.

He was all too aware of Madam Yu’s low opinion of him, his reputation as a troublemaker preceded him wherever he went and even when he had attended the guest lectures in Gusu, he was singlehandedly the most punished student. So Wei Ying prepared himself to hear the worst.

"Denial because Wei Ying was so bright...brighter than all the stars in the galaxy. When he smiled, I felt awed...like standing in the midday sun. When he spoke, he was full of love and laughter, joy that came from the depths of his soul. The brightest flower could not compare to my Wei Ying. I...I was not good enough."

There...the truth of all those years gone by was out.

Finally out in the open.

It had taken Lan Zhan most of his life to admit this, even to himself.

Mindful of the baby, Wei Ying kissed his cheek. His lips lingered, a connection that forever remained, especially in their hearts.

He was readying himself to hear something...else, and now he was blown away by what that young teenager had thought of him, back then.

"When we first met...there was no time to make any proper opinion of you. Jiang Cheng said you were the Second Jade of Gusu and everyone had heard about you. But our fight...on the rooftops...I knew I had met my match." Wei Ying laughed softly.  "You were brighter than a candle in the dark. Excellent at every skill...the best. And I knew ... I thought, it didn't matter what anyone else thought...I wanted all of your attention. Whatever you could give me."

"I was always aware of Wei Ying. A flaming star." Lan Zhan kissed his hair again, wanting Wei Ying to know how much he was cherished.

"The past is over with, my love. What matters now is that we are together at last."

Lan Zhan kissed his wet lashes, still feeling that same awe of the past, that this beautiful, warm person was his.

"Mn. Together."