Desolation

end

//i'll be fr this chapter is confusing asf//

"chou! where are you?" i tried finding her from what it seemed like a polaroid picture of.. us. she just cant disappear like that, there must be a trace to find her right? i think I'm missing something- fuck this! how dare she leave me?

i tried finding her. for months. for years. for a lifetime. i miss her, real bad. i just wished and wanted to see her again, hold her like we used to be, as i truly regret for the things i said that night, i remembered we were celebrating our 3 months together, when i fucked it all up-

jungkook was ranting all to himself, yet that didn't bother him, but something else did.

jungkook turned his attention to the eiffel tower, how did he even get here? who's asking.. he was getting his déjà vu, of him and jieun, where he proposed and got heartbroken at the same time. "how heartless can you be, my one?"

"jungkook, i can't do this anymore, i didn't love you for all those 3 years in our relationship, i was just using you for me to move on, and now that my ex came back, i realized that i still love him," //reusingchap1//

your words were glued to me as if i was portraying the pain i felt when you left, i tried to move on but as i feared, history repeats itself.. yet this time i was the parasite who not only used the person i truly loved, but she actually loved me too. before.. she loved me too.. he was writing everything to his diary day by day, he's afraid of letting go but at least his mind was the scenery of his life.

i really need to find tzuyu. i'm losing my pathway to get to her.

wait.. what am i doing again? i'm finding.. who? oh my diary, i need it.

correct. memory loss can be a pain in the ass.

when am i getting out of this? i want to be released from my sanity, just please let me out- fuck it hurts. everything. is all. fake.

someone. please.

help. me.

jungkook stood up from his bed frightened and confused from everything, what was that? wait, what?

"another nightmare koo?"

he breathed deeply and nodded, "sorry love, i'm.. a bit stressed these days." the girl nodded and handed him a glass of water, "drink, you must be dehydrated."

jungkook laughed and turned his head, "I'm a doctor love, i think i know what i need." jungkook said cockily which made the girl smirk, "oh? and that is?"

"a kiss from you?"

"you're funny. now let's sleep."

the girl once again closed the lampshade, so that they can both sleep as jungkook sighed to himself, 'you're not tzuyu. jieun.' and i hate myself for it.

---
"i thought i failed the operation jimin? why- HOW is she here?" jungkook woke up in a hospital wondering why is jieun here and not.. tzuyu.

"you were in a coma jungkook for 3 years, everything you built as a memory, was fake. everything that happened, was fake, everything, jungkook. do you hear me?" jimin was getting annoyed by each second, he should be happy that he was not awake from reality, but sometimes forcing someone that isn't real, can be hard to face. but he needs to learn to accept it.

"so our 3 months, was me 3 years unconscious?" jungkook just couldn't believe it.

"when jieun didn't accept your proposal and ran off with her ex, you collapsed from the sudden shock, she then realized that she forgot her purse, and when she saw you, she blamed herself for everything and now that she's back you just pushed her away? the thing you're telling me about was fake, the uyu girl? was fake. your relationship with her? that's weird."

"try and accept her kook, I'm no therapist but, you were desolated when jieun left you, i just want my bestfriend to be happy. okay?"

"but would that make me happy?"

---
starting now his morning routine he sighed as he reached out for a reason to be out and breathe out for awhile, "love! i think were out of coffee, i'm going to go buy some!"

"oh okay-"

and with that he left without letting her finish, she's still stuck no.. glued into my mind, i forgot. i created her with my own mind..

"i should focus on my life more."

as when he entered the door, the old lady that was his friend greeted him, he missed this. "i'm just going to get some coffee, we can chat later miss sui."

he went on aisle 3 to get some coffee, seeing it was the only left we decided to reach for it, but a hand was also there, "oh, excuse me? i think i've touched it first?"

jungkook looked at the person about to have an argument with her and .. "you."

"excuse me?" the girl was confused about the man who looked like crying,

"whats your name?" jungkook decided to blurt that out before he can have a mental block,

"tzuyu. kim tzuyu."

---
(my book oversimplified bc i feel like it)
jungkook was too shock that his heart broke into pieces that made him trigger his mindset into thinking tzuyu was actually real but theeen as he slowly recovers, his head keeps hurting bc of hes waking up and as he was thinking abt jieun its bc shes always there when he was at a coma,, and now boom ending as he connects the pieces together.. how does he still remember all those memories if it was NEVER real.. 

ok bye thanks for readding %#$%&&$*