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There was one of two things that were going to happen after the release. One: Everyone would love it and embrace her comeback. Or two: The general public would ignore the song because she hadn't released music in so long so they just assumed that she retired. Thankfully, the first one was the one to be a reality. To be Loved was released and her fans were ecstatic. Demi was happy to be back and doing what she loved, just wished that it wasn't caused by the fate of her marriage.
Speaking of her marriage, Jesse had been ignoring her since they landed in New York. Although, it wasn't because of To Be Loved. Jesse had told her that he wasn't going to listen to it until she performed on SNL, he wanted to hear it for the first time live. That was what left Demi confused. If he hadn't listened to the song, what the hell was he mad about?
On the bright side, New York was going great. Mae was reunited with Chicago and they weren't causing any trouble... yet. North had surprised Maceo and moved into Kim's old apartment so she could be with him. It wasn't the punishment that Jesse was trying to give him but at least that was another kid who moved out of the house.
Everything that Demi had been doing up until now had been preparation for SNL. But the day was here. She couldn't focus on why Jesse wasn't talking to her or if Mae had been in the hotel watching movies with Chi— as she swore she would be doing— today was about her and nobody could ruin this.
She could feel her heartbeat beating out of her chest and her palms were so sweaty she couldn't even hold her water bottle. Everything was becoming too real. This was going to be the first time Demi had performed live in years. On top of that, it was the most heartbreaking song she had ever written. What if she forgets the lyrics? Or what if her voice cracks? This was live TV, nothing could be edited out. This could make or break her career.
"Ladies and Gentleman, Demi Lovato" Kenan Thompson broke her out of her thoughts. This was it. Everything had been leading up to this moment. Her pianist, Steven, began to play the opening sequence of the song as Demi closed her eyes and began to drown out the applause from the crowd.
It was perfect from the beginning to almost the end. Demi made the mistake of looking at Jesse while singing the bridge. Normally, Jesse would be beaming whenever Demi would perform but this time there was nothing. No smile, not a thumbs up, nothing. The last thing Demi saw was Jesse shaking his head and then leaving. Leaving right before her performance was about to end. It brought her back to the beginning of this summer when she and Jesse had begun falling apart. It brought her back to the feelings she felt while writing this song.
She didn't register that the song was over until the spotlights came back on and the audience rose to their feet to applaud her. Demi did her best to smile through her tears and focus on the positive. She just performed on SNL and received a standing ovation. It just would've been better if her husband stayed to witness it.
