Letters to Him#Wattys2016

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen

He was sitting inside a masjid, he couldn't go back to that house neither could he go to his parents' house. He needed peace and he was sure he would find that in Allah's house.

He couldn't believe Noor wanted him to choose between her and Qamar. How was he supposed to live without Qamar? She was very important for him. He loved her so much and she loved him so much. How would she live without him? He couldn't leave no he couldn't. He promised her that he wouldn't leave her alone. He couldn't break that promise. He needed just as much as she needed him in her life.

And then there was his daughter. He couldn't live without her either. She was the light of his life. His little baby. How could he live without seeing her? He loved her to bits, so how was he to let her go? Both Qamar and Zainab held a very important place in his heart. How could he choose between the both and whom could he choose? He couldn't function without both of them. And just then Azan for Fajr prayer went off. He replied to the call of prayer and stood up to pray the Sunnah as soon as the azan was over. He felt his burden lighten as he bowed down in prostration. He finished his prayer and raised his hand in supplication.

'Oh Allah, no one knows what I am going through better than you do. Ease my affairs and help me choose what is best for everyone around me. And in Your Hands I place my trust and worries. Help me Oh Allah.'

*

He left the masjid with a heart lighter than before. He sat in his car and headed home for Zainab would look for him as soon as she woke up. It wasn't going to be easy but he was going to put up with it for his Zainab.

He silently opened the door and headed straight to his daughters room. He opened the door to her room and found her fast asleep. He shut the door silently and went towards her bed. He looked at her sleeping form and smiled sadly. How was he to live without seeing this angel?

"Oh you are back? Where were you the whole night?" He heard her voice. He felt disgust coil in the pit of his stomach at her voice.

"Just leave Noor. I don't want to see you, at least not here." He told her without looking at her.

"But..." She began.

"Leave Noor." He interrupted her. She sighed audibly and left the room. He relaxed a bit and got into her bed stroking her head. He kept thinking about what went down last night. She couldn't be serious about the ultimatum she gave him could she? She did say she was very serious about it. He didn't know what to do anymore. And in the middle of those thoughts he drifted off to sleep.

*

"Assalamualaikum mom." He said as soon as his mom opened the door.

"Walaikumasalam." She said, hugging him, and in that instant he felt all of his worries melt away. He hugged her closer to him savoring the peace he felt in those moments.

"Is everything alright Ameer?" His mother asked him. There goes his pretense. He hadn't even stepped foot in the house and his mother already knew something was wrong.

"Yes mom. I'm just tired. Zainab wore me out." He said partially lying. Zainab did tire him out.

"How is she? You should have brought her with you." His mother said ushering him in.

"She is good Alhumdulillah. I would have but you know Noor. She wouldn't send her here." He said. A flash of guilt passed through his mother's face at Noor's name. So she was still dying with the guilt.

"Oh." She replied. He would have said something but he couldn't for the life of it.

"Where is Qamar?" He asked changing the topic.