Ersatz

April 8, 1994 - The Massage at Marlena's Penthouse

"I could give you a rub. It's always worked in the past."

John practically burst through the doors onto Marlena's balcony at her penthouse. His whole body was tight with tension, and he couldn't seem to find a way to relax. Marlena was right behind him, her voice, and her scent following him. A comfort, and a torture, at the same time. He took a deep breath, releasing it slowly.

"John, you have got to relax," she said, following him outside. But her nearness made relaxing impossible.

"I'm trying, Doc! I just can't shake the tension," he told her, turning his head slightly, but refusing to look at her completely. "You know, maybe if I go for a run. Knock off about ten miles—"

"—or I could—" Marlena caught herself, stopping before she finished her thought. It was a bad idea. It was a dangerous idea. She was feeling too lost, too vulnerable...and John was too available.

He turned to face her, wondering why she stopped, "Could what?"

They had so many awkward interactions lately. What were they too each other? They were more than friends, but they were no longer lovers. Marlena was tired of trying to censor herself. She was exhausted from the state of her life, and she was lonely. "I—I was going to say that I could give you a rub, it's always worked in the past."

John paused for a moment, trying to gauge her emotions in that moment. He said slowly, "Yeah, it has." He continued to stare at her, knowing that if she got any closer to him physically, closer than friends might get, it was going to be incredibly difficult for him not to touch her. So he said, "Uh, but, uh, no thanks. Not this time." He stepped around her, breaking his eyes away from hers, and not allowing her to read anything more into their conversation. "I'll be alright," he said, entering the penthouse, and leaving her alone on the balcony.

Marlena followed him, closing the doors behind her. She wasn't going to let this go. As she turned, she saw John pulling his arms back, in an attempt to loosen the muscles at his neck, and she said, "I think we're being silly. It's harmless." John scoffed, but didn't respond. He simply leaned on the table, and allowed his head to hang low, while Marlena continued, "And it might get us what we want, okay? We might get the information that we want! Come on. Sit down...sit down." She pulled at his arm gently, and John couldn't refuse her. After everything they had been through together, he couldn't refuse her.

He sighed again, slowly taking his jacket off, while she said, "Don't be all night. The shirt, too."

He stopped, staring at her, "Doc?"

"We're adults, John. The shirt, too," she said, kneeling on the chaise portion of the couch. John taking his shirt off wasn't necessary, but once the words were out of her mouth, she wasn't backing down.

"Alright, Doc," he said roughly, pulling his long sleeved blue t-shirt over his head, and sitting down before her. He felt the tension even more now, and he clenched his t-shirt in his hands.

She came up behind him, and breathed deeply of his scent, and glanced over the muscles of his back. Touching his tattoo softly, she pulled her hand back quickly. Marlena told herself to stop. This was a simple massage to try, and loosen him up, so they could get through a hypnosis session. That was all this was, and yet she could feel a low throb in her center, and the heat from his body was seeping through her clothing, as she leaned against his back. Ignoring the warning signs, she laid her hands on his shoulders, and said softly, "Take a deep breath...let it go." She started kneading the muscle near his neck, whispering, "Let your arms go. Drop the shirt...come on, come on, come on..."

John groaned in relief, as her fingers worked their way into the tight and knotted muscles along his shoulders. It felt amazing, and the heat of her, the weight of her against him, combined with the scent of lavender and lilacs, caused him to start to lose himself.