Ersatz

September 2, 1991 - The Angsty Musical Montage

"Just Isabella."

Roman marked another airline off of his list with a heavy sigh. He was no closer to figuring out which flight Marlena had snuck onto than he had been before. She'd been home two weeks, and still he found himself obsessed with figuring out where she'd been. Maybe, he was fixating on that so he didn't have to think about the rest of it. He didn't have to think about Isabella, even though he knew he was hurting her. He didn't have to think of Marlena, even though she was legally his wife. But the biggest thing he was pushing to the side was his fear, and that gripped him so tightly he sometimes struggled to breathe. He found himself waking in the dead of the night gasping for air, trying to pull air into lungs that simply wouldn't expand.

The front door opened, and Marlena entered quietly, giving him a gentle smile. "The children are safely dropped off with your parents," she told him. She watched him for a moment. Roman seemed so sad. He didn't respond, so she approached him, leaning over his shoulder, "Hi."

He startled, glancing up. Looking back down at his paper, that tight feeling of desperation gripped his chest again. Was it panic? Was that what he was feeling? He couldn't be sure. Discovering the mystery of where Marlena had been, and who she'd been with would help him get rid of it. He had to figure it out though, and every day that seemed less and less likely.

Marlena leaned over him, resting her arm on the table in front of him, "Any luck with that list?" Her breasts pressed against Roman's shoulder, and as she spoke, she knew that her soft breath was wafting past his ear. She allowed her cheek to brush his silken dark hair, and she smiled to herself when she saw goosebumps pebble across his neck. She was affecting him, as much as he wanted to deny it.

He couldn't resist the impulse. Turning his face up to look at her, he realized his mouth was almost touching hers. Roman could feel her hot breath on his lips, and he closed his eyes to keep from groaning aloud. When he opened them, Marlena had pulled back. Was she torturing him on purpose, or was every move she made innocent? She had to know how she was affecting him. Didn't she?

Clearing his throat, he said in a rough voice, "Not yet. It's just a matter of getting the right flight number, you know?"

His discomfort was obvious, but she refused to step away. Standing close to him, she knew he could feel the heat of her body, and she didn't care. In a casual voice she said, "Hmmm. Like a needle in a haystack."

Standing up quickly, he turned to face her, "That's exactly what its like, but I got Schofield working on it, maybe he'll come up with something." Had Marlena's eyes always been such a myriad of color, or had he simply forgotten? Deciding to switch to a safe subject he asked her, "Why were you gone so long? I thought you were just dropping the twinners off?"

"I went for a walk," she whispered. "It was... it was nice. I went to the pier."

Roman chuckled, stepping back. Had she come closer to him? "Nice," he said awkwardly. "You chose one without a mugger, huh?" In an attempt to distract himself, he snatched up his notepad from the dining room table, and walked around Marlena.

Tired of skirting around each other, she followed him. "No muggers. No arsonists." She watched for his reaction as she told him softly, "Just Isabella."

He looked up from the paper he'd been staring at. A thousand questions sprang to his mind, but all he managed to say was, "Really?"

Marlena wished it didn't hurt so much to discuss Isabella, but she knew it had to be done. They'd been avoiding it since her return. Running into Isabella on the pier had been purely by chance, but it was the first time they'd come face to face. Marlena recognized her because she'd been watching from afar her first few days back in Salem. Isabella recognized her from photographs. "She was out taking a walk. I guess she was... thinking about things." She continued to watch him as emotions played over his face.