Ersatz

August 23, 1991 - Marlena's First Night Home

Edited/Updated: 10/9/23

"I see you in that robe..."

Roman stared at his closed bedroom door with a sense of surrealness. He could ask himself, was she in there, or had he imagined the whole day? Was last night a dream?  He'd been a near constant state of panic since he'd seen Marlena walk out of the fog. He'd heard his name, one word, two syllables, and his heart had stopped beating for a full second, before starting back up again at a pace that was decidedly not normal. It had been the voice. A voice he hadn't heard in five years, and yet he would know it anywhere. Even full of emotion, and choked on a sob, he knew her. He walked down the hallway, taking a huge sigh, and he started to pull his t-shirt over his head. Prepared to enter the guest room, he heard Marlena open the door to the master bedroom, and say in a surprised tone, "Oh, hi."

He turned, staring at her with his t-shirt awkwardly half off, and replied lamely, "Hi." He could't help but stare at her. Every time his eyes landed on her, he was in a state of shock all over again. He broken Isabella's heart, and all he could think about was the robe Marlena was wearing. Where had she found that? He thought he'd gotten rid of all of her old things, because keeping them tore his heart out every time he saw them. But, there she was, a vision of the past standing in the doorway of the bedroom they had once shared. He stared at her with deep blue eyes, remembering everything he'd ever done to her in that doorway. 

Like a moth to a flame, he pulled his shirt back over his head, and crossed the hallway. He couldn't understand how, after five years, the attraction was still there. Two days ago, he'd thought he was in love with Isabella. He'd been ready to marry her, have a family, and move on with his life. It had certainly taken him long enough, but something had always held him back. Finally, with Isabella, he'd decided it was time. One desperate cry of his name across a foggy pier changed all of. It changed everything.

Marlena smoothed her hand over the pink satin robe she wore, smiling at him shyly, "I, um, found my old robe in a box in the back of the closet in here—" She felt guilty for going through his things. She'd done so mainly out of curiosity. Isabella had moved out before he brought her there, but even still a faint vanilla scent lingered. The other woman. Marlena had gone into the closet wondering if it smelled like Roman. She wanted to touch his clothes, and feel connected, to feel a part of him. 

"—yeah, I, uh..." his voice trailed off as he stared at her, his eyes roaming her body slowly. The curve of her hips, and the swell of her breasts under the fabric were so familiar to him. He hadn't touched her in years, but he could still remember what she felt like under his hands. Leaning against the door frame, breathing in the clean scent of her, he told her, "...I forgot to have the Goodwill come and pick that up, I guess."

"Lucky for me," Marlena said, with a smile, as she tried to memorize every line of his face. Even though it felt like days since she'd been with him, a deeper part of mind knew it was longer. It was the part that craved the feel of his fingers burning a path across her skin. It was the part that wanted to lean in closer, just to breath him in. The way he leaned against to door frame, caging her in, had her craving more, but she was trying to respect him. He needed space, emotionally, to figure out what he wanted, but what she wanted was her husband.

Still staring at her, Roman paused a moment longer than he should have, before saying sheepishly, "Yeah." It was so odd, and wrong, that his body would crave that he immediately fall back into bed with her, but as he looked at her, maybe it wasn't. He'd never lost that connection with her. His dreams were full of her, her scent, her taste, the feel of her mouth on his, and the sound of her soft cries as he made love to her. All of it there. He woke to it almost daily, and in away, he never forgotten her.