Devoted Pain

light and dark

Damien's attitude had me awake all night, and as I twisted and turned in my sheets I couldn't stop myself from picturing his face. Stifling hot under the covers but freezing cold without. The room felt stuffy and haunted at the same time.

I climbed out of bed, and decided to go to the top of the tower, where I could read a book for a couple of hours till the sun rises at dawn. So I grabbed my favourite book, and created a portal to the roof top.

The book was about a girl who thought the whole world hated her apart from one boy who was determind to hate the world. He was the only one who loved her, but she never realized until he passed away.

The rooftop was dark, with only the occasional floor lights to brighten the place. I sit myself down on a forgotten chair, probably used for outdoor training once a blue moon and breathe in the cold harsh air that makes shivers crawl down my spine.

" Raven?" A deep voice says from behind me and I jump up. Dropping my book in the process.

" Damien!" I exclaim. Hes currently wearing a pair of red shorts that went down to his knees, with a black baggy shirt that covers his torso. Its the most comfortable attire Ive seen him in since he arrived.

" Devoted pain?" He reads out loud the books title, picking it up and handing it back to me. " Sounds foolish".

I blush at his remark and sit back down. He places himself besides me, and we both look into the night sky, the silence and darkness was peaceful.

" It's not" I mumble after a minute, and he raises an eyebrow. " The book. It's a beautiful love story about 2 lovers, who forced them selves to feel. The good and even the bad, because they feel like they owed it to one another".

" how is that beautiful?" He asks quietly, almost that if he spoke any louder it would have consciences.

" Because they did it for each other, everything they did was for love. Foolish or not, they followed their heart".

We sit in silence, keeping eachother company. I occasionally draw my eyes away from the sky and glance at him.

His sharp jaw had gained a little stubble, and smile to my self.

Small things like that reminded me he's human, a simple minded but broken human. Human regardless of anything in his past.

On the other hand I was something not of this world, different and strange. The voices in my head had subsides for a while, but tonight they were particularly loud.

' You don't belong, let me in and I can give you the life you always wanted'

I clench my teeth, my grip on my book tightening. I close my eyes, telling the voice angrily to shut up until it becomes more like pleas.

" Rachel?" Damien voice snaps me back to reality.

" Yes?"

" Why are you out here?"

I swallow the lump in my throat. " I couldn't sleep, the voices have been getting worse..." And a certain ravened hair was on my mind.

" We have our one on one training tomorrow" I nod, and he turns slightly to face me. " What do the voices want?"

I hesitate before responding, but eventually open up

" Me"

" You?" He asks, confused but curious.

" He wants me, he wants me to let him in and give him control. The slightest mistake is enough for him to escape, and what I've heard him say I-i... I'm scared. That fight..." I hesitate, but take a deep breath and control my breathing pattern. " That wasn't me, something took over and a dark awful version of me came to light. The worst part is I enjoyed it".

Damien waits a second, processing this new information. He opens his mouth to speak, but I place my finger on his lips to silence him.

" You can see the sun" I say out loud, and he takes the hint that I don't want to talk about the problem. At least not right now.

I move my finger off his lips, and blush. Surprisingly he didn't kill me for touching him, but I place my hands on my lap and try to ignore my actions.

The sun was peeping from the sea, the sky a beautiful blend of pinks, oranges and yellows. A navy hue somewhere turned into the sea and the sight makes me content.

" I love sunrises and sunsets, they sometimes don't seem real. You see the whole world in a new point of view, and it just makes you wonder things that your mind wouldn't particularly go to. Why are you watching the sunrise, Damien?"

He looks me in the eye, and I feel my heart beat race.

" I need to protect something".

" What is it?"

" I think it's hope, it's a strange feeling. I've never quite felt it before, but its similar to hope".

" Happiness?" I joke, but he doesn't respond and looks away. " I'm sorry, I hope you can protect whatever it is your feeling".

He turns to face me again, " raven, I want you to know Ill help you figure out what's happening to you".

" You don't have to but I appreci-" he cuts me off

" But I do". I nod, and smile at him, the corners of his mouth twitches into a smile, but only for a second.

"I'm going to bed, I'm tired. Are you coming?" I ask and he shakes his head.

" There's something I need to do".

" Okay, well night or morning now". I create a portal to my room and wave him goodbye, to which I get his signature nod.

I step through and close it behind me, and smile. I do a small happy dance to my bed, but once I hit the sheets I'm knocked out.