Grunt Work

Tell

Paula found me crying by Mr Huggles' pool.

'What's wrong?' she asked, running over and sitting down beside me.

'Thunderbird,' I managed to say between sobs.

'You saw them?!' she asked, surprised.

I nodded.

'You mean you actually managed to get in? You know how to get in?' she pressed.

I nodded again, hugging my knees to my chest, hiding my face behind them.

'How did you,' she started excitedly, then stopped. When she spoke again, she was softer. 'What happened?'

'They said they're going to kill Mr Huggles. And me.'

When she said nothing, I looked up at her. She was just sitting there, looking at me. 'That's not going to happen,' she said at last. 'I promise you, I won't let it happen.'

She said it so calmly, like it was a done deal. I believed her.

I heard a gentle splash behind me as Mr Huggles swam laps. 'They called Mr Huggles a monster.'

Paula pursed her lips, and craned her neck up to look over the lip of the pool. 'Do you ever wonder,' she stopped herself.

'No,' I said. 'Wait, about what?'

She looked back to me. 'Do you ever wonder why the Kraken never uses his Qi forme? His animal forme?'

I stopped crying. I couldn't cry and think and talk at the same time. 'He has Mr Huggles? So he doesn't need to?'

'Hmm,' she pressed her lips again.

'Can I ask you something?'

'Of course.'

'Baran said she didn't know any Paula.'

'Oh.'

I sat there, waiting for her to say more. 'Why doesn't she know you?'

She sat back down beside me, not looking at me. 'That's not my name,' she said at last, and even though she said it as a whisper it seemed to fill the whole room.

'What is your name?'

She turned to look at me, then. 'I can't say.'

'Oh.'

'I'm sorry. I wish I could tell you. I wish I could tell you everything. And I'm sorry for lying to you. I wish I could even tell you why. But I can't. And I hate it.'

I wrapped my arm around her. 'Is it because of the Kaptain?' I asked. 'I know he likes to have his secrets and all.'

'Something like that,' she said, turning away. She shifted in place, and I thought for a moment that she was going to get up, but she leaned in to rest her head on my shoulder. I stroked her hair softly. 'Why did you join?' she asked me quietly. 'You're such a nice person. You always see the good in others. You're too kind for this place.'

Because I needed the money after leaving the army. 'Because of my name.'

She twisted to look up at me, her nose almost touching mine. She didn't say anything, just waited for me to continue.

'Tangaroa is the atua, the god of the sea, in my culture,' I said at last, feeling ashamed. 'Everyone keeps going on about how they want to change the world. How the world has treated them wrong, and they want to right all the wrongs. And that's all fair, it's great they want to change the world. Make it better. And I tell them that I joined because no one would give me a job when I left the army - which is true. But really I just joined because the Kaptain is the water Elemental, and I have the name of the water god. It's silly.'

'It's not silly at all,' she smiled at me. 'I think it's really sweet.'

'You do?' I blinked at her.

'Mhmm.'

Her face was so close to mine. 'Paula, can I - can I call you Paula?'

'I like it when you call me Paula.'

'Paula,' I started again, feeling a little tongue tied. 'Can I - I mean. Do you want to. The drinks. The Den of Inequality. Erm. Oh. Gay. Are you gay? I should have asked that first.'

'Uhhh,' she leaned back a bit. 'Are you asking me out?'

'Yeah, no.'

She laughed and frowned. 'Yes.'

'Yes?' it was my turn to frown at her. 'To which bit?'

'All of it,' she laughed again, and I felt myself relaxing. But then she stopped, and I started worrying again. 'I don't know. You're really nice. But my job, it's...complicated,' she pressed her lips again and looked away. 'Fuck it. Let's do it,' a wide grin spread across her face, and I felt myself doing the same, and suddenly we were laughing. She leaned up to wipe the tears from my cheeks. We stood and made our way to the lift door, but halfway there she stopped and grabbed my arm. 'Hey, so this is a little awkward. But how did you get to the Thunderbird? Just curious, I know it's a bit of a maze.'

'I'll say,' I said, and laughed. As we made our way to The Abyss, I told her everything.