Grunt Work

Meeting The Boss

The only times I had ever seen Kaptain Kraken had been on shaky camera footage on the news, or on his recruitment posters - but those had an artsy look about them so it doesn't really count. I'd never seen him in person, or even as a person, but once he took his black cape and cowl off he looked kinda hot, not gonna lie. I mean, I'm bi and generally prefer women but, you know. He could get it, is all I'm saying.

'Please, no need to stand on ceremony,' he said, holding a chair out for me. 'By all means, take a seat.'

I tried not to let out a groan, but it was just so comfy and I just sank into the big leather armchair. Okay I might have groaned a bit.

He laughed and settled into the chair behind his desk. I noticed his was just a regular office chair, and I thought that was pretty nice of him. Having nice chairs for his guests but just a simple one for himself. It made me feel special. 'If I may ask, what brought you to my organisation, Ms...Tangaroa?'

I nodded, pleased that he'd got my name correct. 'I was just looking for work. You know, not many jobs for ex military.'

He nodded. 'Yes, that's something I intend to remedy when I achieve my goal of world domination. Better care for veterans. Better medical care, more job opportunities, that sort of thing.'

I nodded again, not really sure what to say. He frowned at me, but I couldn't figure out why.

'Tell me, have you ever worked with animals before?'

I had to have a bit of a think about that. 'I did used to walk the neighbourhood dogs? And pet sit. Not bad money in it, truth be told.'

'So no formal training?'

'Oh you don't really need formal training to be a dog walker. Just keep plenty of bags on you and make sure you're wearing good running shoes is all. Oh and don't get them mixed up when you give them back. Mrs Renka still hasn't forgiven me for-'

'My point is, you've never worked with animals of this calibre? No? Hmm,' he settled back in his chair and looked at me over his clasped hands. Then he sat up and pressed the intercom button. 'Well, we can change that. Winifred, I think it's time to let Jenkins go.'

'Yes, sir,' Winifred replied, and over the intercom I heard a sound of splashing and shrieking. I wondered if she was settling Mr Huggles back in his pool okay.

Kaptain Kraken settled back into his chair. 'There, the job is yours. Now, you'll have to undertake formal training, and that will be on top of your other duties here. But congratulations! You're now my beastmaster.'

'Oh that's great!' I said, although I'd never really imagined a job working with animals. My neighbour's pet cat, Meowgli, had kinda put me off the idea of turning pro. He scarred me for life. But Mr Huggles seemed nice, so perhaps I was being a bit too inside my head over it. Besides, that probably meant a nice big pay rise.

'Yes, see that you do learn how to properly control the beast-'

'Mr Huggles,' I interrupted. 'Sorry, sir.'

The boss blinked at me. 'Yes. Mr Huggles. Be sure that you learn your job well. I have big plans for him. Big, big plans,' he laughed. I laughed too, though I didn't really get the joke.

It was only after, when I was shown out, that I got it. Because Mr Huggles is big! I had to wipe a few tears away for that.

I have such a great boss.