Life's Better When You Gotta Bassist In It // L.A. Guns •Kelly Nickels•

Don't Do Drugs, They'll Kill You

When I pulled into the driveway, I was scared this visit would quickly turn into the last one, me leaving with a bunch of bruises. I walked up to the front door and knocked.

Eventually my mom answered, but something was wrong. She had no drink in her hand and she looked sober. She looked like she'd been crying. "Mom, what's wrong?" I asked. "Oh, Erin, I'm glad it's you, we need to talk." She said, letting me in. She was completely sober.

I was concerned. I don't think I've ever seen my mom sober, and now that she is, there's a reason, and that reason scared me shitless. We walked to the living room and I sat down on the couch. "Do you want anything, water?" She asked me.

I have never seen my mom act this way. "No, I'm okay, but thank you." I said. She smiled a sad smile. "Listen Erin, there's some bad news." She said. That's why she's sober, something terrible happened, I just didn't know what.

"What? You're scaring me Mom." I said. She sniffled and wiped a stray tear from her eye. "It's your dad." She said. "W-what about him?" I questioned. Mom was full on crying now. "H-he overdosed." My mom said and I started bawling.

My dad. My safe haven away from my mom while she drank. He was never mean and didn't  really drink. His only problem was drugs. He couldn't be gone. "N-no." I said shaking my head.

"I'm so sorry honey. I know you two were close." She said. Oh my god. My dad was dead. "When did this happen?" I asked, trying to stop crying. "Yesterday. I've been trying to find a way to tell you. I don't have a phone number for you or your address. I'm glad you came to the house today." She said.

"How, did he overdose?" I asked, already knowing the answer. "Heroin." She said. I cried even more. He was gone. "When's the funeral?" I asked her. "Thursday." Mom said through tears. I nodded. "I'm-I'm going to go. I'll, I'll see you Thursday Mom." I said getting up and walking to the door.

"Okay, if you need anything call me." She said. I nodded. I got into my car and completely broke down. So much was happening. The only thing that I was sure of growing up is that my parents absolutely loved each other. No matter the drugs, no matter the drinking, they were always there for each other.

This must be hurting my mom hard then, that's why she's not drinking. I was still violently crying when I reached the apartment. I was crying so much I couldn't breathe. The door was unlocked. Kelly's home and I didn't even care.

I barley opened the door and walked into the apartment still crying. I closed the door behind me and slid my back down it till I was on the floor. I was crying, on the floor, with my back leaned against the door.

I didn't notice Kelly was on the couch till he came over to me. He probably just saw what happened. I was crying really hard and loud. My dad was fucking dead and there was nothing I could do about it.

"Fuck, Erin, are you okay?" He asked me. I shook my head and cried louder. I was sitting there, unable to talk, unable to think. When I did think, it was just about my dad and how he was gone. I shook my head again.

I sat here as Kelly came and sat next to me. I put my head on his shoulder and cried. "M-my, d-dad, my dad died. My fucking dad died because he overdosed on Heroin, and I didn't even get to say goodbye. And here's the fucking kicker. My mom whose been a raging alcoholic my whole goddamn life is sober because he died." I said crying.

"What the fuck." I cried. I then broke down more. As I was crying Kelly had put his arms around me. I'm glad he was here. I needed someone to cry too. "I'm so sorry Erin." Kelly said.

"So am I. So much has happened in the span of so very little days. You get into a fight, you kiss me, I break up with Brent, you kiss me again, my dad dies, my moms magically sober, and I'm fucking pathetic." I said.

"Your not pathetic, you're battles just take a lot of you, but in the end, guess whose not a broken record playing over and over?" Kelly said in soft voice. That made me smile. He was right.

I had finally stopped crying and Kelly helped me off of the floor. "You sure you're okay?" He asked me again. "Fuck no, but I will be eventually." He smiled and left it at that. I'm glad Kelly was able to help me.

Kelly started walking to go to his room. "Wait Kell." I said. He turned around. "Yeah?" He answered. I smiled a small smile. "Thank you for helping me. I really appreciate it." I said. He nodded. "Of course, if you need anything, you know where I live." He said smirking and giving me a wink.

I nodded and we both went to our rooms. I decided to put all the things I had of my dad that he gave me over the years and stuff along with some pictures in a shoe box. I'd open it again when I was ready.

I shoved the shoe box under my bed and changed my clothes into pajamas. I laid down under the covers and began to think. Kelly and I have kind of been through a lot of shit together these 2 months, well my shit, but he's always there to witness it and help me.

Like when he helped me after my mom beat the shit out of me, how I helped him when he got the shit kicked out of him at the Whiskey, after Brent and I broke up, and now how he comforted me because of my dads death.

Kelly and I really are always there for each other. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I think I may like Kelly, but then I have the fucking problem of not knowing if he actually likes me too or if he was just fucking with me.

I'd ask, but I'm not going to do that and risk embarrassing myself. Maybe like how Kelly and I are always there for each other, is like how my mom and dad were always there for one another, minus the drugs and alcoholism. Don't do drugs, they'll fucking kill you.

Still not knowing what I was going to do about Kelly and everything else that went wrong in these past few days, I went to sleep.