Life's Better When You Gotta Bassist In It // L.A. Guns •Kelly Nickels•

I Really Needed Kelly

The guys were staring at me. Of course they know that this wasn't my room. Kelly and I's rooms were on different sides across the apartment, divided by the living room. Instead of making a big fucking thing about it, I walked over to the couch and sat next to Kelly.

Mick and Steve were smiling like they just helped two people get married, Tracii looked surprised and I honestly couldn't tell what Phil was thinking. I took out the cigarette and handed it to Kelly. "I found these on your nightstand, so I took one." I said to him.

He shrugged. "I've smoked more of your cigarettes than I can count, so I guess this is my paying you back." He said, smoking the cigarette. " I smiled. "I'm okay with that." I said.

"So, what are you doing today, boys?" I asked them, taking the cigarette back from Kelly. "We have band practice. We gotta make sure we're fucking on top of things for our gig at the Whiskey tomorrow night." Tracii said.

I nodded. "I'm gunna go see how my moms doing. She isn't exactly taking my dads death well." I said. "How long have they been together?" Mick asked. "Since high school, they had me young though. My mom was 19 and my dad was 22." I said.

"That's a long time." Steve said. "Tell me about it." I said getting up. "I'm getting dressed." I said, walking to my room and shutting the door.

(Kelly's POV)

"What the fuck happened between you two?" Tracii asked, smiling. "Never take advice from Phil." I said. "I like Erin, hell I think I love her. I kissed her because of that."

"Phil here told me to stop so she wouldn't get hurt, so I stopped and told Erin it wouldn't happen again. It broke Erin's heart. I fucking  hurt Erin anyway when that's not what I fucking wanted to do."

"I'd never fucking hurt her." I told them. "So, are you going to marry our Gal-Pal Erin?" Tracii questioned. I smiled. "Fuck, hopefully one day." I said. It was true. Erin has a good personality and a great grasp on life.

As I was talking to the guys, Erin's bedroom door opened and she walked out. I smiled at her. She walked over to me and stood really close to where I was sitting. I looked at her. She smiling. "I'll be back, if your not here when I get back I know where you'll be." She said. I nodded and she bent down so she could kiss me before she left.

When her face got close I jumped the gun and kissed her before she could kiss me. After it, she smiled and started walking to the door, grabbing her keys off the counter. "Bye Kelly, bye guys." She said and we all said bye.

"Did you sleep with her?" Phil asked. My smile faded. "No, no I did not." I told him. "Then why was she in your room?" Phil questioned. What was going on between Erin and I, really wasn't his fucking business.

"God, her dads funeral was yesterday and she had to work right after, she's been through hell, but I've tried helping her not go through it as hard. Last night, we had a fight...but neither one of us could walk away, so we decided to try this. She went to her room and I went to mine. Eventually I heard a knock on my bedroom door and it was her."

"She didn't want to sleep alone. We didn't fuck if that's what your asking. I don't want to do that to Erin. She's not like any of the girls I used to bring home, because she's worth more than that and I don't want to hurt her. She doesn't deserve that." I told them, It was true, I just wanted to make sure things between Erin and I would work.

"You really like her, don't you." Phil said. I nodded. He smiled. "She does seem happy now that she's with you." He said and I nodded. "I think we both are." I said.

We then headed to go practice for tomorrow night.

(End of Kelly's POV)

When I made it to my moms, I knocked on the door and she answered. "Hey mom." I said as she let me. "Hey Rin." She said. She was sober. I guess my dads death really woke her up.

We sat at the kitchen table. "How are you Mom?" I asked her as she handed me a cup of coffee. "Well, I know your dad and I weren't close over the years after you were born, off doing our own things and what not, but I miss him. He was the fucking love of my life." She said.

I believed her. If there was one thing I knew, was that the love my parents had, was one hundred percent genuine and sure. Absolute even. And another thing I wanted to know, was that I didn't know how absolute their love for me was. If they even had any for me. It's fucking sad, but that's just how it is.

"You been drinking?" I asked. My mom smiled and shook her head no. "Your dad dying opened my eyes. He would want me to be sober and he'd want me to be a better mom for you. So here I am, fucking trying." She said.

I nodded. "Do you think we'll ever get over it, the grief?" I questioned. She shrugged and took a sip of her coffee. "If God is real, he works in mysterious ways, so no one really knows. But I think we will, if we keep moving forward." She said.

"So, what are you doing with your life?" She asked me. "Well, I work at the Whiskey." I said. She nodded. "That's good, at least you've got adult responsibilities now." She said. "So, uhm, I may or may not have a b-significant other." I told her.

I'd have to end up telling her eventually, and my mom and I didn't really have conversations about boys when I was younger, or even at all. I saw it as my opportunity to have a mother daughter conversation with her.

"Really, who?" She asked me. I smiled and took a drink of coffee. "My roommate Kelly. He's in a band." I said. The smile on my moms face dropped. "For the love of god Erin, why, you should be dating a goddamn lawyer or a doctor or something. Not some guy who has a girls name, or plays guitar or whatever the fuck he does." She said.

I looked at her and furrowed my eyebrows. "God, I'm happy Mom, and it's not exactly your fucking place to tell me what I should or shouldn't do with my life." I said, raising my voice.

"Screw you Erin. At least you had parents. My fucking parents kicked me out when they found out I was pregnant with you. You were an annoying child, and guess what, now my fucking husbands dead!" She screamed at me, getting up.

I got up as well. "Fuck off, I lost him too, Dad was the only one of you who even cared to be a decent parent to me, he may have been strung out, but he was still a goddamn better parent then you were, whether you sober or drunk, it made no fucking difference, at least he was always there for me!" I said.

Before I knew it, my mom was slapping, punching me, and kicking me. Guess old habits fucking die hard. When she was done I threw a punch at her and I got her nose, it was bleeding.

"Y'know what, I'm sick and tired of trying to find any redeeming qualities in you. I thought I'd give you another chance after Dad died, but you're just the fucking same. You are no mother to me. You will not visit me, talk to me, see me, call me, or talk about me. I'm fucking done, Donna. I'm done." I said, wiping my tears and the blood from my mouth and nose.

I got into my car, pulled out a cigarette and lit it. I honestly didn't care anymore. I didn't care what I looked like, how black and blue my mom made my face, how my life was going, nothing. Everything was happening and everything else was going to happen eventually.

I drove to where the guys were. I really needed Kelly, he makes life feel less like a living hell. When I got there, I sat in my car a little bit. I finally cut ties from my mom, and I was glad.