To Love Or Not To Love

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Psychology states that there are ways a person can make sure they stay happy and positive, always. There are different kinds of hormones that are mentioned but one that stands out is, Dopamine. It is a feel-good hormone that is responsible for managing the brain's reward centre. This means that there are certain things we can do to make sure this hormone does it's intended job, to be happy.

For example, listening to upbeat music and getting a good night's sleep are a few examples of the activities that keep you in a great mood. That is why in this exact moment, I'm feeling like a million bucks. I slept like a baby yesterday and when I woke up this morning, I decided to listen the likes of Zandile Khumalo and Doja Cat to brighten up my mood. Today's my first day at work and I'm super excited to finally have something meaningful to wake up for. I have been unemployed for a year, so getting this job means a lot to me, I finally stop depending on my mother and being a burden to her as well.

As I'm getting ready, I receive a phone call from my mom. "Make" (Mom)
"Yebo sesi, unjani?" (Hii sisi, how are you?)
I know it's kind of weird how we talk, but this is the exact kind of lingo that is used in MP.

"Ngiyaphila make, unjani wena?"( I'm well and you ma?)
"Ngiyaphila se. I just wanted to wish you a wonderful day on your first day and I hope everything goes well."
"Thank you so much mama. Honestly I am kind of nervous but I'm hoping all goes well. I just have to sign the contract when I get there then carry on with the rest of the day."
"Oh sesi don't worry about it too much, you'll do great. I have faith in you just do what you know and if there's something you don't understand, ask for clarity and all shall go well."

We finish up with our conversation and bid each other farewell with promises of me having to call when I get back from work. I go back to getting ready and once I'm done, I rush off to have something to eat. Well I'm not much of a breakfast person so I settle on some cereal and an apple that keeps the doctor away. Lol.

It's half past six when I quickly rush out of the flat to the bus station in hopes of catching an almost empty bus. People are savages out here, they don't care whether you wearing heels or are pregnant, they just don't give up their seats for anybody anymore. Angisayi beki ke ye bus ( I won't even touch on the bus situation), these bus drivers don't care uzowa bangabi nandaba (you'd fall and they wouldn't even care). Sigh. Tough times that we're living in shame.

By 07:45, I'm in front of the building and freaking out to be honest.
"Come on Yanda, you can do this!" I hype myself up just as I entire.
"Sanbona bantu abadala, ninjani?"( Greetings my elders, how are you?) I say the security guards on post.
They reply back telling me that they are doing well but also share a complaint or two about having to wake up so early in the morning. The things we do to survive in this life!?

I get to the reception and I find Zim there, we share greetings and promises of having lunch together as I tell her to that I'm going to the HR department. Once I'm done signing, I get a tour guide called Mthokozisi and he shows me around the building .

I never really admired this building when I first got here and as I get off the elevator, I realize that there are a few offices here and the rest is just an open plan. From the outside it is just a plain white 2-story building written 'EZIZWENI' in bold, sort of like a hospital, boring really. But the inside is very different, very unique. There are a lot of cubicles here and from what I've heard, the design is made so that people are able to communicate better with no restrictions.The people who have offices are those that have higher positions such as directors and whatnot.

I get to my work station with the help of Mtho and I thank him once again before he takes off. I fire up my laptop and screen, as I get down to work.
It's one o'clock when Zim gets to my cubicle to let me know that it's lunchtime. I quickly gather my things, then we leave. I think this a good day so far, I've had no complaints and hope it remains that way for the rest of the day.

....................

It's five pm when I knock off and I can already feel that I'm exhausted beyond measures. I know that the que at the bus stop is insane at this time so I have no choice but to catch a taxi since it is faster. I go with Zim to the taxi rank and man is it not packed.

"Friend, did you have a good day today?" She asks me for the second time today.
"Yeah mngani, it was not bad really. I just have to adjust to the environment, that's all."
"Okay that's good sweety. Let me go now, the taxi I'm going with is on this side and yours is right there." She points at the corner.

We say our goodbyes and I head off to the taxi. I get in and in less than twenty minutes, the taxi is full and ready to go. As the taxi takes off, I think of my mom and I'm pretty sure she would have a homecooked meal ready for me. Sigh. Its times like these where I miss her so much.

"Short left!" I yell just enough to be heard by the driver. Why does announcing your stop sound so embarrassing. I sound like a fucking chicken being slaughtered. I get off and head on to a place I call home.

When I enter my place, I switch on the lights and rush to the bathroom to fill up the tub with some water I can soak myself in. I don't have any bath salts so maybe a bit of Jeyes Fluid to keep away bad spirits? Yeah...maybe not. I'll probably vomit in the night because of the smell. Too strong I tell you.

Once I'm done bathing, I heat up some leftovers from yeaterday in the microwave and check a few messages on my phone. Most of them are from my mom wishing me well and one from Zitha saying goodnight.

I reply to mama's messages and lock the phone after setting the alarm for tomorrow morning. I wash the dishes and quickly go to bed to get some rest.

Woosah. Now this is what my body has been yearning for. Off to LalaLand I go.