Madness

chapter 10

Chapter ten

Harry quietly watched Liam leave and slowly let go of me.

“We should go find Louis and Eleanor.” He whispered. “Let’s go.”

He grabbed my hand and led me through the balcony door and through the apartment.

We found Louis in the kitchen with his girlfriend Eleanor and we approached them both.

“So you finally decided to show?” Louis said with a harsh tone in his voice.

“Yeah I did…” Harry answered carefully.

“Yeah it was about time. We’ve waited for you for a while now” Louis answered. “Do you remember that we are a band? We should be there for each other and show up for each other and support each other! ”

“I’m sorry Louis, I know you want to say some things to me so can we please talk in private?” Harry said, clearly uncomfortable with Louis outburst.

Louis decided to follow him and they went out on the balcony together. It was just me and Eleanor in the kitchen, and you could literally feel the awkward between us.

“Uhm… so yeah, that was something.” I said, trying to start a conversation.

“Yeah it sure was. And you are?” she answered, raising her eyebrows.

“Uhm… yeah I’m Hanna. I’m here with Harry.” I said awkwardly.

“Yeah I kind of noticed.” She said while rolling her eyes. “So you are one of Harrys girlfriends!”

“No I’m not his girlfriend, but we are sort of hanging out at the moment.”

”Yeah you and about 30 other girls…” she said, clearly judging me. Then she left me there, standing all alone.

It felt like someone just punched me in the stomach. Was that true? Was Harry seeing other girls right now? Alice hadn’t mentioned it, so maybe it’s false? Because there would have to be some kind of photo of them together or something, since everything Harry does gets photographed. But what if I was just another stupid girl to him? A little voice in my head crept in, slowly reminding me of all the things that was wrong with me and how Harry could never like me.

I gasped as I grabbed the kitchen counter, holding it so tight that my knuckles became white.” Eleanor and Alice are right” the voice in my head said to me. “You’ll never be good enough for him.”

I felt the panic creeping up. I closed my eyes, trying to sort my thoughts out but in the blink of an eye, Harry was by my side again, standing so close to me I could smell his perfume. I tried to cool myself down.

“How did it go?” I asked him, feeling calmer already with him next to me.

“Well he certainly had a lot to say” he mumbled to me.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked him carefully. I didn’t want to step on his toes.

“Yes, but later.” He said giving me a big smile. Now I want to spend time with you. “Let’s find Alice and Niall.”

We stayed for a long time, and I had a really great evening. We hung out with Liam, Zayn and Perrie and a lot of time with Alice and Niall, just drinking and talking and having fun. I could really tell that Alice was in heaven. One thing I couldn’t help but to notice was that after his chat with Louis, Harry didn’t leave my side for the entire evening.

As it started to get late, and I couldn’t hide my yawnings anymore, Harry and I decided it was time to leave.

As I approached Alice to tell her that we were leaving, she shook her head. “I’m staying.” She said giving me the biggest smile I’ve ever seen. “Niall asked me to stay a bit longer.”

“Really on the first night?” I raised my eyebrows at her.

“Well technically it isn’t the first time we see each other so it’s not the first night.” She said, winking at me.

“Wear protection and come home safe.” I said to her and gave her a hug.

“Always do.” She said grinning back.

I shook my head. Well, it wasn’t really unexpected. They had been drooling over one another ever since day one. I just hope that it’s not just a onetime thing, for Alice’s sake.

When we left the apartment and walked down the stairs Harry stopped for a moment.

“There are going to be photographers out there, are you ready?”

Oh shit, I totally forgot. I quickly brushed my hair with my fingers and pinched my cheeks just so I wouldn’t look like the way I felt.

“Yeah I’m ready.” I told him.

“You look great don’t worry.” He said to me with a smirk.

He took my hand and led me through the door. There were about 20 men standing with cameras in their hands, snapping pictures and screaming stuff at us. I kept my head down and decided to ignore them completely. I just focused on Harrys pace and the grip of his hand as he led me into the car.

“I can’t believe they aren’t getting tired of taking pictures of me.” Harry mumbled.

“Yeah I know it must me awful.” I said jokingly.

“Thanks.” He said and laughed.

“So, are you ready to tell me?”  I asked him.

“Yeah now that we are alone…” he cleared his throat. “Well for starters I already knew what he was going to say. I mean I know that he has been mad at me for quite a while and I guess he decided that he wanted to talk about it tonight. “

I just nodded, wanting him to continue.

“Yeah anyway, he is really upset with me, and he has all the right to be, because let’s face it, I’ve been a jerk lately. He was my best friend... well they all were, and I just stopped answering. I kind of stopped caring about the band for a while. I just thought I got more negative attention from it. And there was so much with the press, always asking me about my girlfriends, teasing me about being a womanizer and judging me for every single thing I did. And, I guess I decided to adapt to the rumors… and be the guy they wanted me to be. “He sighed and took a deep breath. “I forgot about whom my real friends were and I didn’t answer, I didn’t care and I just partied and met a lot of people.”

Wow. He was really honest with me, telling me these personal things.

“So did you tell Louis? I mean why you acted the way I did?”

“Yeah we talked about that, and I kind of think he understood because he has been with Eleanor for a long time, so they don’t make up rumors about him. I got the worst.”

“It was very brave of you to tell him all this.” I answered him.

“You think?” he said with his eyes locked to mine.

“Yeah I do.” I smiled at him. “So what happens now?”

“Well I hope he accepts my apology because I am honestly sorry. It’s just really hard being me sometimes.”

I gazed at him. This wonderful man looked so vulnerable and there was sadness in his eyes that I never wanted to see again. He shouldn’t be this miserable. It broke my heart.

“It shouldn’t be” I said and decided to go with my impulse. I leaned in and kissed him right on the mouth. His lips found mine and he put his hand on my neck, sliding his fingers in to my hair. I felt his warm breath and his strong arms as he pulled me closer. I never wanted this to end.