Vent book ( TW )

I have no motivation.

I have zero motivation. None. I already knew that but i just had it proved to me. By my own mother. Don't get me wrong, my parents are usally pretty nice and pretty chill. I like them. Sometimes. I was stressfully doing homework (its half term and i go back on tuesday) when she can in and saw me on my ipad. Obviously she thinks i spend to much time in screens (I mean i do but whatever) and I told her i was doing homework and she literally go so annoyed at me. Asking me why I didn't do it earlier, what homework i have, why didn't i tell her i needed help on it, if i did it would be done. And THEN she started talking about how i never do what i say I'm going to do. This is true, i say ill be super motivated and do loads but i just sit in my room on my phone. She askes me why is it always her and dad doing all the housework why don't i do anything? And I answer with the truth. Because im lazy. She doesn't like agree with me out loud but i know what shes thinking. She finally tells me she wants me to, do all my homework, do maths practice (yes i am that bad at maths i have to do it outside of school because i have no fucking idea whats going on in lessons) and come to her by tomorrow lunch time and tell her how much "screen time" ive had over the half term. Then she left and i sat, cried, tried to finsh my homework, gave up and im now on wattpad. I have NO motivation and i hate it. I just can't do anything right so why bother you know? Like if ima fail if i try then I won't fail if i don't try. Perfect way out. In short my life sucks and i want to die.