Vent book ( TW )

365 days yippee 😋😋 (sh and su1cide mentions)

Ok so ik i said i wouldnt say anything else here anymore unless smth rlly bad happened AND DW NOTHING BAD HAS HAPPENED but i just felt like i should post smth considering im 365 (one year if u didnt know) days clean today!!!! I mean actually it was yesterday but uhm i was lazy so lets pretend its today ALSOOOO today is like sh awareness day r smth so it like fits well

Idk tho i just felt like i should say smth motivational but i csnt think of anything so ig ill do a little life update and try to be motivational too 😭😭 a shit ton of stuff has happened within the last year and if im being honest it wasnt great, but ik that it would have been a lot worse if i hadnt been managing to stay clean throughout it. And like just bc im clean for that long doesnt mean im happy AT ALL like i still have shit going on its just idk different shit ig?? And i still often nearly go back to it, like istg ive cried on my floor multiple times bc i just wanted to cut SO MF BAD but luckily i didnt (yippee). And im not living a good life, im still mentally in a shit hole but its less of a shit hole than before, and ngl when i think abt my lowest point in life it was 100% November 2022-March 2023 and im so glad im not living through that again bc it was hell. There was sm i didnt even say in this book bc i felt insane but if u have read this book then i think its obvious i wasnt uhm doing very well to put it lightly😃.

But now life is getting slightly better (even tho it gets worse and then better again, it is getting better slowly) like for example i have THE MF BEST ONLINE FRIENDS ISTG THEY ARE MY LIFE I LEGIT LOVE THOSE PPL SO SO MUCH i mean sometimes they were the cause of mental breakdowns bc yk there was loads of drama at points but there aint as much now which is good. And also i have a good group of irl friends at school and even tho i was friends with most of them during the shit period (thats its name now) i feel closer to them and its like so funsies bc we all r just an iconic friendgroup 😍😍😍 I mean there is an icky ass girl who is still being a pain my side bc shes toxic asf but yk who gives HALF A FUCK ABT HER NOBODY CARES.

So uhm yeah thats a cutie little life update NOW IM GOING TO TRY AND BE MOTIVATIONAL AND ITS PROBS GONNA BE CRINGE ASF BUT IDC 🥰 Seriously tho if ur struggling with sh or anything like that, even just bad mental health, i can promise you IT WILL get better. And then it will probably get worse, then better again, then worse then better. Its like a wiggly ass line that just goes all over the place but eventually it gets better. Nothing, and i mean nothing is ever big enough to kys or sh over, whatever reason u sh whether its bc of guilt, bc u have nothing else or if u dont even know why u just do it, there are 20 million more reasons why you SHOULDNT. Whoever you are, you deserve to live a beautiful life in which u can be happy and even if it seems like thats stupid asf and ur never gonna get that you will. Everytime u think abt suicide, just think abt everything u will miss. Laughing until ur lungs hurt, discovering new shows and movies, making playlists, smelling fresh air, seeing new places just everything. Life is worth living and you deserve to life it happily.