!tw! vomitting. (purging ig?)
song of this chapter : insomniac - memo boy, chakra efendi
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Today was the day of the meet-up! I'm so excited! I packed my luggage I put a few sweaters, a long sleeve swim top, some swim bottoms, and waterproof concealer, it can still come off with pressure going on it, so I have to be careful if we swim. And a razor of course just in case?
I had woken up at 6:00 am, feeling like shit, like always...
the voices saying some dumb shit, I took a shower to help calm them down. Then it was nearly 7:20 am Wilbur would be here any minute. Luckily my dad was at the pub and I was asleep when he got home last night so he probably just passed out when he got here cause I don't feel any new bruises only old ones that are sore, and I was still asleep when he left. He does this every day, when is he going to get a new schedule?
Wake up
got to the pub
come home in the early morning
beat me or pass out
then repeat.
Isn't your life a bit repetitive?
Isn't it tiring?
isn't it boring?
*DING DONG*
I hear the door bell ring, and I run down stairs to get the door, I bring my luggage with me, and open the door.
"HEY BIG MAN!" I say as he hugs me, and says "hey tommy!" I flinch at the sudden touch, he backs out the hug, gosh this is gonna be a long week...
"is your dad here, I wanted to meet him." He says looking in the house... I dont think he saw the mess ; beer bottles every where, clothes every where including the sweater with vomit on it, yes I didnt pick it up, cause I dont really care anymore.
"uhm no hes uhm... at work!" Hah. work? This man hasn't worked since my mom left. He just uses the money from my streams...
"work? on a saturday?" wil says.
"mhm..."
"uhm alright." wilbur replies. We get in the car and head to the air bnb. It was closer to philza's place so it was about an hour and a half so 1 hour and 30 minutes. We stop at a mc donalds and wilbur asks,
"what would you like tommy?"
"oh I actually ate before you got there and im still full!" I say but just then my stomach growls.
why now?!
perfect timing innit.. hmph.
I guess its cause I havent eaten in a while....
"tommy."
"yeah wilbur!"
"your stomach just growled, your obviously hungry so what do you want? Dont worry about paying me back or anything."
If I eat he'll think im fat and disgusting
im getting sick thinking about mc donalds...
you dont need to eat fat pig.
I know.
"tommy!??"
"oh.. sorry mate just zoned out. haha!" I give a fake smile.
"tommy. I dont know what's going on in your life, but just know im here for you. Also im getting you at least a large fry."
"thank you... also can you just get a small fry."
"tommy..."
"wilbur please."
Wilbur pov : (VERY SHORT)
"wilbur please." why was it such a big deal? I dont understand...
"tommy can you atleast get a medium then. Please."
Tommys pov :
"tommy can you atleast get a medium then. Please." wilbur says, I sigh and nod forcing a smile.
we get our food and I gag looking at the food. I should have just said I dont like mc donalds but wilbur would have felt bad and would have gone somewhere else so that would be useless.
like you.
Useless.
ugh these stupid voices..
"tommy? are you going to eat.?" wil says looking at me.
"oh sorry." I take a fry and eat it.
I eat the full thing god I was so hungry.
"wil can I use the bathroom?" I say with a forced smile so he wont suspect anything.
"mhm!" he says. We were still in the parking lot so, I walk in the mc donalds and to the bathroom, I kneel over the toliet,
and I throw up. It felt somewhat nice to get that out my body. I dont need to gain anymore weight. I wipe my mouth, and go back to the car.
"1 hour left!"
"YEAHHHHHHHHHHH"
I HOPE YOU ENJOYYYYYYYYYYYYEDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM SORRY IF THERERS SO MANY CHAPTERSSSSSSSS! STAY HEALTHY AND YA!
688 - words
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I give up. |Tommyinnit angst|
Fanfictionthis book was meant to be me just giving up on writing but yk I had to turn it into a book lmao !TW!//SH/ED/ABUSE/ANXIETY/OVERTHINKING/PANIC ATTACKS/SELF HATRED/SWEARING/VOMITING/SUICIDAL THOUGHTS// THERE WON'T BE A WARNING AT THE TOP OF EACH PAGE...