song of this chapter: cocaine sunday - eydress
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I wake up to someone wiggling me, I open my eyes and it's wil.
"MORNING SUNSHINE!!!" wil says, we both laugh.
"ugh, I feel like shit not surprised anymore..." I mutter, hoping he wouldn't hear, but I guess he did cause he hugged me.
"ok big man you can move now" I say while akwardly laughing, he gets up and I go to get up but then wilbur says
"tommy, what's that on your hand?" I was fine telling him, cause it wasnt as bad as if he found the cuts on my arms.
"oh... I- uh- when I uh- um- was having- um- that panic attack- I- um- erm... I was- um- scratching my hand, but i- um normally do it cause erm.. It helps relieve my stress..." I say why was that so hard, now hes gonna beat me for stuttering, I better apologize-
"oh are you okay?"
"y-yeah its okay now hah..."
"sorry for stuttering sir please dont hi-" shit shut up you prick... I said the last part quiet so hopefully he didnt hear me.
"nevermind haha..." I say trying to get up and head towards my closet.
"um tommy what was that I couldnt really hear you?"
"nevermind It was nothing ha.." i reply
"can you please leave so I can change" I ask as politely as I can.
"yeah of course!"
I get changed into a sweater and some jeans, and go downstairs.
"hey guys!"
"helloooo" techno says in his normal monotone voice.
"hey mate." phil says
"phil is making eggs and bacon with toast." wil says giving me a smile.
"oh. okay.." stupid eating disorder ughh I hate purging it makes me feel even shittier.
"I dont really like eggs and bacon so can I maybe make something else?" I ask, wil looks at me.
"yeah of course."
"philll what are we doing today?" techno asks.
"I was thinking of swimming?"
"YOO WE SHOULD RENT OUT A WATER PARKKK" wil adds
oh swimming? wooo... im fucked.
"tommy what do you think?"
"that would be awesomeeeee I want to vlog some of it tho just in case" I reply to phil.
"okay great ill rent one since I came up with the idea." (IK U CANT DO THAT , THAT EASILY BUT AJDIANWDJ IDC.. ITS THE WATTPAD LOGIC!) wil says excidetly
a few minutes later...
"OKAYY! WE CAN GO AT 2:30!" Wil says
"YOO!!! we have like 3 hours!" phil replies.
a few minutes later... (again mm)
they finished eating and I kept a conversation going, so I think they forgot about the whole eating thing. Or atleast I thought...
Phil and techno were playing minecraft on the tv that phil connected his pc to (wattpad logic :} )
"tommy either make something your self or i'll make something for you." wil says.
"oh erm-..." I look in the fridge and grab a apple.
"im not really hungry right now so is this fine?" I try smilling, but im so tired of forcing a smile so it didn't really work. wilbur sighs.
"tommy, you dont want me to worry but you, never eat much, make comments that a happy person wouldnt say, you have panic attacks and you dont tell me why, you go to the bathroom after meals, every meal ive seen you eat you got to the bathroom after, look I dont know what going on right now and if your not comfortable with telling me thats fine, but I want to help you with anything I can."
Your a burden tommy. Why cant you see that
I know!...
"pfft." I walk past wilbur eating the rubbish apple, at least its healthy, so I wont throw it up i guess...
this is so emo HOPE YOU ENJOYED AND HOPE YOU ENJOY :)
600 - words
YOU ARE READING
I give up. |Tommyinnit angst|
Fanfictionthis book was meant to be me just giving up on writing but yk I had to turn it into a book lmao !TW!//SH/ED/ABUSE/ANXIETY/OVERTHINKING/PANIC ATTACKS/SELF HATRED/SWEARING/VOMITING/SUICIDAL THOUGHTS// THERE WON'T BE A WARNING AT THE TOP OF EACH PAGE...
