I give up. |Tommyinnit angst|

16

(I just found out that ranboo doesn't go by he/him so I apologize for using those pronouns, and I wont from now on if I do by accident, please tell me.)

tw : mention of throwing up//suicidal thoughts// (thats all I think thats not in desc)

song of the chapter : PUT ME IN A MOVIE - LANA DEL REY (oops caps) or just any sad song. SAVE YOUR SADDEST SONG FOR THE END :D

PROOF READ (there still may be a lot of bad grammar still.)

time for da' stream.

it was time to do the stream. We were supposedly just going to, go on the swing, and kind of just hang out, it was going to be a chill stream. It was night, but it was pretty nice out, it wasn't cold or hot just, warm. Tubbo, ranboo, and I go outside to start the stream, we press 'go live' we have the 'starting soon' screen up just to make sure the audio is good. Wilbur, Phil and techno said they were going to pop in every now and then, but besides that, it was just us 3.

"hey chat!" Ranboo says, greeting their chat, since were streaming from their account.

"HELLO GUYS!" I say to their chat. Tubbo kind of is just sitting on this picnic table on his phone.

Ranboo sit on the swing and I just sit on the grass.

"should we do a QnA?" Ranboo asks.

"yes." I answer I love doing QnA's"

"YES BOSS MAN!" tubbo says and joins me on the grass for the QnA.

We start and Ranboo reads dono's asking questions.

'how long are you going to be in the uk?' one of the dono's ask for the QnA.

"2 more months! In total 4 months. Also thank you for the $10!" He replies.

'why are you guys hanging out with tommy isnt he annoying? He's also really ugly... And not to mention fat. He looks disgusting and he makes my ears bleed. I just want to beat the shit out of him. If I were him I would just kms lol.' ...

"ban that prick." tubbo says.

"i'm going to use the washroom..." I say getting up and leaving, I can't hold it in anymore, I want to cry, I feel like having a panic attack. There's a lump in my throat, it's almost like im choking. I quickly run inside and run towards the bathroom, attracting phil, techno, and wils attention.

"wait here! If I call you then come, okay? He might get overwhelmed." I hear wil say to the rest running upstairs, far behind me, I slip into the bedroom, and slide down the wall on the other side of the bed. I cry, my head in my knees and my knees, tucked close to my body, I press agaist my cuts as hard as I can, seeking for any pain I can get out of it. It's not as good as cutting... I try and fight the urge to cut. My breathing pattern turn into like, 10 breaths a second. I can feel the blood from the cuts, trickling down my arm.

I can't do this anymore.

I dont want to do this anymore.

I get snapped out my thoughts quickly due to the feeling of arms wrapping around me

"I-I c-c-can't d-d-do t-t-t-his an-y-ymore...." I try to say between breaths.

Wilbur soots pov :

"I-I c-c-can't d-d-do t-t-t-his an-y-ymore...." Tommy says between breaths, my heart sinks.

"w-what?" I say. What?!...

third person :

"n-no Tommy yes you can... Don't speak like that." Wilbur says trying to calm down from what tommy said but Wilbur can't help but feel sad inside that Tommy could say something like that. Wilbur removes Tommys hand away, since it was pressing against his wrist or his cuts.