The Assassination of Harley Quinn

The Bane of My Existence

We arrived outside the Joker's infamous lair as hoards of goons guarded the perimeter. "I think we can sneak through that air vent opening over there" Jade pointed out as we parked towards the back of the building. "How're we gonna get through those guards without alarmin' the others" I questioned as I pointed to the henchman with the end of my bat.

"Already thought of that" Jade said as she removed a bow from her back and notched an arrow onto it. "Where'd you learn that" I said as an arrow silently whizzed past, launching itself into the chest of the first guard. She quickly shot the second one before anyone could become aware. "Come on" she whispered as she gestured for me to run to the grate of the vent.

We both climbed in as Jade closed the grate behind us. "So are ya gonna tell me where ya learnt that" I repeated pointing at the bow. "League of Assassins" she replied carefully as we began to crawl through the tight space. "Can ya teach me how ta do that" I chirped. "Not very on brand for you. Maybe we can make arrows with smoke bombs on them" Jade replied with a laugh. "As long as they're coloured" I said with a serious tone. "0f course, I know what I'm doing" she responded with a grin. We continued to climb through the vents before Jade grabbed my arm, causing me to stop.

"Here, Harls, we have to climb out of this grate, I've heard he keeps the hyenas near here" she said as she gently unscrewed the vent. She then silently dropped out of the vent and onto the tiles. Jade reached her hand out to me as I carefully climbed out. As I jumped, she caught me in her arms and gently helped me stand. "Thanks" I said, my cheeks blushing slightly as I met Jade's green eyes. She was always so gentle with me, it gave me butterflies in my stomach. She returned her usual smirk before we walked out of what looked like a bathroom but was just covered in pictures of Mista J.

"So... I guess my brother's a narcissist" Jade said as she pointed to the large portraits of The Joker lining the walls of the hallways. We finally stopped outside the door we were looking for. Jade carefully picked the lock before opening the door. We walked in and found my two precious babies in the far corner of the room. They looked underfed and scared. "Oh" Jade gasped as she watched the shivering forms of Bud and Lou. "My boys" I cried out, tears filling my eyes as I knelt to the ground. In a second the hyenas pounced onto me, licking my face and laughing in joy.

They were filled with happiness and excitement as they jumped around my crying form. "Harley, it's okay, we will get some food on the way home. I promise we are going to make them better" Jade said as she wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "I couldn't have done this without ya" I cried as I pushed my head into the space between her shoulder and her neck. Jade pulled me closer as Bud and Lou carefully approached her. She put her hand out letting them sniff her before they joined in for a cuddle.

Bud and Lou continued to laugh until I finally moved away from Jade and turned to them. "We have to keep them quiet or someone will know we're hear" I said as I put my hands over their mouths. "I'm afraid it's too late" said a robotic and creaky voice. I knew that voice, it was the Bane of my existence. "What are ya doin' here Bane" I said as I quickly turned around and faced the giant man with his face covered in a mask. "I heard Joker's in prison, I am here to take what is his" he replied with his hands in massive fists. "What do ya mean, don't cha like Joker" I said in confusion.

"I broke the bat, he will never support me" he yelled out before pumping a green liquid through the tubes connected to his neck. I watched in shock as he began to grow even larger, until finally he broke through the doorway. Jade quickly pulled out a sword before leaping towards Bane. Her legs connected with his stomach but he didn't move at all. In fact, Jade was knocked back into the wall. She left a large dent in the plaster as her eyes rolled to the back of her head where she passed out. Bud and Lou ran to her, trying to wake her up.

I tipped my head back in laughter as I swung my baseball bat towards Bane but it simply broke in half against his form. "Fuck" I squealed as Bane took large steps towards me. His hand grabbed onto my neck as he lifted my body off the ground to meet his eye. I looked over at Jade, trying my best to get her attention. Finally, she woke up and quickly threw the gun on her thigh into my waiting hands. I shot a few times at Bane's stomach. He let go of my neck and stepped back a few paces. "Told ya I needed the gun" I chirped at Jade. He then roared in anger, bringing his fists to the floor, shattering the tiles.

He charged towards me again, but Jade had climbed onto his back. "Okay, next fight I'll let you keep the gun" she said as she ripped the tubes out of Bane's neck, causing him to shrivel to his regular size. He clutched at his throat, struggling to breathe as Bud and Lou helped Jade tear up the tubes. I then whistled at the boys to follow me before we all leapt out the window and ran towards the car parked in the street behind the building. Jade turned, shooting arrows at the goons behind us, letting Bud, Lou and myself jump into the car for safety.

Jade shot a few more arrows until she got into the car and started the engine. She clutched at her abdomen as she began to swerve along the roads. "What happened" I said as I frantically pulled her hand away from her stomach. Green blood poured out from her as she winced in pain. "I was shot" she grunted as she sped along the streets of Gotham.