Everything i didn't say // 5sos

19

Sun, sun, sun is all I've experienced this whole trip in Florida besides everything else. I haven't felt so free in my life after spending nearly 3 weeks here in this state. What I've done was an incredible journey here.

I've never gotten so much sun and surfed so much. I came here 3 weeks ago pale not knowing how to surf at all and now I'm so tan and Ive mastered it if you ask me. But after the sun would go down, i'd hang out by the shack with other teens my age and others just a bit older who lived in the neighborhood.

Whats helped me forget about everyone back home was my good friend Ian, he used to be neighbors with my family but his parents died at young age and so my grandparents took him in to raise him. The first few days I was feeling upset still about that one night back home and would suddenly have blurry nightmares about it, thankfully Ian shared a room with me and comforted me, I would spill to him everything.

Suddenly the fourth night we were at the shack and things got hectic and we might of connected. I don't regret fooling around with him, its not like I lost my V card to him. We both knew it would end soon, however it didn't stop us from continuing it. He showed me a lot, mainly to not care about everything and to just chill not being so stressed about the smallest things. Almost every night, he would sneak me out at midnight to the beach and we would just lay in the sand pointing out to the stars and drinking a couple beers.

Our age difference wasn't so huge, he was barely 23 and I was nearly 18, it scared me a bit at first but I let it slide after he rubbed off on me about not caring so much. My mom was barely around me the whole trip, mainly staying around the family, but she was aware of Ian and I, she didn't mind it since he made me happy. In the matter of 3 weeks, all he's done was make me smile and laugh every moment. My mom loved him and joked around offering to take him back home. I loved the idea but it was too good to be true. Ian was a part time student at a university around. One of the days, he took me around campus and I was instantly amazed at it.

Before all the craziness had to end, he and a couple more friends all convinced me to dye my hair blonde to look like them. I wasn't so keen on dying it fully blonde, so I dyed it mid hair down blonde and it came out really good.

On my last night here in Florida, I did something old Jordan would've hated which was skinny dipping with Ian. Then it hit me, it was my last night better make the most of it so I did. After a couple bottles and lots of convincing from him, I found myself without clothes in the water having an intense make-out session with Ian. He was a great kisser which made me sad because I wouldn't be able to be with him anymore as soon as I got home. I knew it wasn't supposed to be serious or anything, just fun but it would mean something to me always.

So here I was, in my bed wearing one of Ians old t shirts having the florida sun shine through the blonde. The side next to me on the bed was empty. Ian had left to go to school so thats why we said our goodbyes last night at the beach. I knew in a few hours I would be on a plane back to my home in Australia and thats the last place I ever wanted to be after having some time in Florida. I haven't talked to the boys since I left, both Ashton and Michael have tweeted me some updates but I never found the time to reply because by the time I'd reply itd be too late due to timezones. A few nights, I would check their accounts and see amazing photos from their performances, even a few videos. It was obvious they were having a blast. But there was one photo that made me quite annoyed and it was one that Ashton tweeted of him and they boys together, and Nessa on Calum's lap barely kissing him on the lips.

I ignored the thoughts of them, and stood up to go change into some of my new clothes that I bought lately. Hanging around some of my new friends made me jealous of their style and they took me to a few stores helping me get a new wardrobe almost like theirs.