The Beatles In Wonderland

The White Rabbit's House

After sneaking away from the Tweedles, the Beatles come across an adorable house. "Who do you think lives here?" Asked Paul. The other Beatles shrug.

"Guards! Drat those men. Where did they put 'em? Guards!" Said the White Rabbit. "It's the rabbit!" Said John. "Guards! No use, can't wait, I'm awfully late, oh me oh my oh me oh my!" The White Rabbit said as he ran outside. "Excuse me sir, but we've been trying to..." Said Ringo. "Why, guards! What are you doing out here?" Asked the White Rabbit. "Guards?" Asked George.

"Don't just do something stand there! Uh... no no! Go go! Go get my gloves! I'm late!" The White Rabbit commanded. "Late for what? That's just what we..." John began. "My gloves! At once, do you hear?!" Asked the White Rabbit in an annoyed tone. He blows his horn. "Goodness. I suppose we'll be taking orders from Brian next." Paul said. "Which one of us should get his gloves?" George asked. "I'll get them. Wait out here." Ringo said. John gives him a pat on the back. "Good lad." He said.

Ringo walks into the White Rabbit's house and looks around. "Hmmm, now let me see. If I were a rabbit, where would I keep my gloves?" Asked Ringo. He finds a tray of treats and takes one. "Oh! Thank you, don't mind if I do." Ringo said before taking a bite. He looks in a chest behind him, but starts to grow again. "Oh, no, no, not again!!" He cried.

The White Rabbit taps his foot and checks his watch. "Oh! Guards!" He said before running inside. Ringo grows so big, he gets himself stuck in the house. "Now you see here, guards... Help!" Cried the White Rabbit. The other Beatles notice what's going on from outside. "Crikey!! He filled the entire house!" Cried John. "No! Help! Monster! Help, assistance!" The White Rabbit yelled. He blows his horn again.

From inside the house, Ringo tries to get himself free. "Ugh! Dear, it's no use!" He said. From outside, the White Rabbit returns with some help. "A monster! A monster, Dodo! In my house, Dodo!" He said. "Dodo?" Asked Ringo. "Oh my poor little bitty house..." Said the White Rabbit. "Uh, steady old champ. Can't be as bad as all that you know." Said the Dodo. "Oh my poor roof and rafters, all my walls and... there it is!" The White Rabbit said.

"By Jove! Jolly well?? Is! Isn't it?" The Dodo said when he sees the house. "Well, do something, Dodo!" Said the White Rabbit. "Yes, indeed! Extraordinary situation, but eh..." Said the Dodo. "But... but... but... but... but what?" The White Rabbit asked frantically. "But I have a very simple solution!" The Dodo said. "Thank goodness!" Said George. "Wha... wha... what is it?" Asked the White Rabbit. "Simply pull it out the chimney." Said the Dodo. "Yes, go... go... go on, go on! Pull it out!" The White Rabbit said. "Who? Me? Don't be ridiculous! What we need is eh... a lizard with a ladder!" The Dodo said.

A lizard all dressed in black whistles as he comes by. "Hmm? Oh! Bill! Bill! Eh, we need a lazzerd with a lizard, a lizard... can you help us?" Asked the White Rabbit. "At your service, governor!" Said Bill. "Here, my lad. Have you ever been down a chimney?" Asked the Dodo. "Why governor, I've been down more chimneys..." Bill began. "Excellent, excellent. You just pop down the chimney, and haul that monster out of there." The Dodo said. "Righto, governor! Monster?!" Said Bill in shock. Then he tries to run away. The Dodo catches him.

"Steady now. That's better! Bill, lad, you're passing up a golden opportunity!" Said the Dodo. "I am?" Bill asked. "You can be famous!" The Dodo said. "I can?" Asked Bill. "Of course! There's a brave lad! In you go now. Nothing to it, old boy. Simply tie your tail around the monsters neck and drag it out!" The Dodo said. "But... but... but, governor!" Bill said. "Good luck, Bill." Said the Dodo.

As Bill gets pushed down the chimney, its smoke gets into Ringo's face, causing him to sneeze. Bill flies so high into the sky. "Well, there goes Bill." The Dodo said. "Poor Bill." Said Paul. "Ehh, perhaps we should try a more energetic remedy." Said the Dodo. "Yes, anything, anything. But hurry!" The White Rabbit said. "Now, I propose that we... uhh..." The Dodo said. "Yes, go on, go on, yes, yes?" Asked the White Rabbit. "I propose that we... uhh... By Jove! That's it! We'll burn the house down!" Said the Dodo. "Yes. Burn the house... what?!" The White Rabbit said in shock. "Oh no!" John said.

The Dodo sings while taking the White Rabbit's things.

Dodo: Oh, we'll smoke the blighter out
He'll put the beast to rout
Some kindling, a stick or two
All this bit of rubbish ought to do

White Rabbit: Oh dear!

Dodo:We'll smoke the blighter out
We'll smoke the monster out

White Rabbit: No, no! Not my beautiful birdhouse!

Dodo: Oh, we'll roast the blighter's toes
We'll toast the bounder's nose
Just fetch that gate
We'll make it clear that
Monsters aren't welcome here

White Rabbit: Oh me, oh my...

Dodo: A match!

White Rabbit: Match!

Dodo: Thank you!
We'll blow the thing there out
We'll smoke the monster out

White Rabbit: We'll smoke the monster out
No! No! My poor house and furniture!

Ringo notices the smoke rising, and knows he has to do something before he gets burned alive. "Oh dear, this is serious! I simply must... oh! A garden! Perhaps if I eat something it will make me grow smaller." He said. The White Rabbit notices a big hand, which is Ringo's, grab one of his carrots, but stops it. Ringo picks up the rabbit in the process.

"Ahhhh! Oh, let go! Help!" Cried the White Rabbit. "I'm sorry, but I must eat something!" Ringo said. "Not me, you... you... you... you... you barbarian!" The White Rabbit said. Ringo takes a bite of the carrot and shrinks again. "Help! Monster! Help!" Cried the White Rabbit as he ran out of his house again.

"He's out!" George said excitedly. The White Rabbit checks his watch again. "Ah! I'm late! Oh dear, I'm here, I should be there! I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!" He cried. "I say, do you have a match?" The Dodo asked. "Must go. Goodbye. Hello. I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!" The White Rabbit said before running off.

"Wait! Please wait!" Said Ringo. "Ah, young man! Do you have a match?" Asked the Dodo. "No, I'm sorry, I have to go." Ringo said. He catches up with his other mates. "How tight was it in there when you were stuck?" Paul asked. "Very! Now we better follow the White Rabbit." Said Ringo. "Good idea. Mister Rabbit!" Called John.

"No cooperation, no cooperation at all? We can't have monsters about! Jolly will have to carry on alone!" The Dodo said in an annoyed tone.