The Beatles In Wonderland

Croquet

"Oh, please, please! They were only trying to..." Said John. "And who are they?" Asked the queen? "Uh... well, well, well, now, eh... let me see, my dear. It certainly isn't hearts... do you suppose they're clubs?" Asked the king. "Why, it's four young men!" The queen said with a smile. "Yes, and we were hoping..." Said Paul.

"Look up, speak nicely, and don't twiddle your fingers! Bow. Open your mouths a little wider, and always say, 'Yes, Your Majesty'!" Said the queen. "Yes, Your Majesty!" Said George. "Now, where do you come from, and where are you going?" The queen asked. "Well, um, we're trying to find our way home." Said Ringo. "Your way? All ways here are my ways!" Yelled the queen.

The Beatles were taken aback by the queen's temper. "Well, yes, we know, but we were just thinking..." George began. "Bow while you're thinking, it saves time." The queen said. "Yes, Your Majesty, but we were only going to ask..." Paul began. "I'll ask the questions! Do any of you play croquet?" Asked the queen. "No, not exactly. But I'll play." John said. "Then let the game begin!" The queen said.

The White Rabbit toots his horn as the croquet tournament starts. "In your places, in your places, by order of the king! Hurry, hurry, hurry!" The king said. "Shuffle deck! Cards cut! Deal cards! Cards, halt!" Said the queen. She grabs a flamingo to use as a club, and a hedgehog to use for a ball. John grabs some for himself as well, but the flamingos go nuts. "SILENCE!!!!!!" The queen yelled. John covers his flamingo's beak.

The queen prepares to take her turn. She swings her flamingo, but misses the hedgehog. The king motions for it to move while the cards scurry to form the bars the hedgehog can roll through. On the second turn, one of the cards trips at falls. "OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!!!!" Said the queen. "Off with his head, off with his head! By order of the king. You heard what she said!" Said the king.

"You're next!" The queen said to John. "Oh, but..." Said John worriedly. "Good sir." Said the queen. John sighs with relief. "Ahhh... Yes, Your Majesty." He said. The queen sits down as John takes his turn. The flamingo he uses messes around, causing the cards to all laugh. John glares at it. "Do you want us both to lose our heads?" He asked. "Uh-huh." Said the flamingo with a laugh. "Well, I don't!" John said sternly. The flamingo messes with him some more. After finally having enough, John grabs the flamingo by its neck and swings, hitting the hedgehog. The cards move to not let the hedgehog go through them, to the queen's amusement and John's dismay.

The queen gets ready for her next turn as The Cheshire Cat appears again. "I say, how are you getting on?" He asked. "Not at all!" Said John as he crossed his arms. "Beg pardon?" Asked the Cheshire Cat. "I said not at all!!!" John yelled. "Who are you talking to?" The queen asked. "Oh, uh... a cat, Your Majesty!" Said John hesitantly. "Cat? Where?" Asked the queen. "There! Oh, there he is again!" John said. "I warn you, sir, if I lose my temper, you and your mates lose your heads, understand?!" The queen asked angrily.

"You know, we could make her really angry. Shall we try?" The Cheshire Cat asked. "Oh no, anything but that!" Cried John. "Oh, but it's loads of fun!" Said the Cheshire Cat. He hooks the flamingo to the queen's skirt. "No, no, no! Stop!" John said worriedly. When the queen lifted her flamingo, it tugs on her skirt, causing her to fall.

The other Beatles run over. "Oh no!" Ringo said. "Oh my fur and whiskers!" Cried the White Rabbit. "Oh dear! Save the queen!" The king said. The cards bloke the queen's view as they scramble. "Someone's head will roll for this!" Said the queen. She bursts through and sees the Beatles. "All of yours! Off with their..." She began.

"But, but consider, my dear. Couldn't they have a trial... uh... first?" Asked the king. "Trial?" The queen asked. "Well, just a... uh... little trial? Hmm?" The king asked. The Beatles all nod in agreement. "Hmm. Very well then. LET THE TRIAL BEGIN!!!!!!" Said the queen.